Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Especially of note:
-Tim Kawakami puts himself on the record and blasts away with some truth on the Warriors' incredible douchery for the good of the blogging mediascape revolution I've described at length: http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2009/04/rowellridder-rovefleischer-chris-mullin.html
-Geoff Lepper being frozen out by the assholes in Warriorland? Shocking. They can't handle shit.
-Robert Rowell withholding the honor of "meeting with him" to be fed lies and incompetent bullshit? Totally depressed over here. Dreams shattered. Etc.
Great, great stuff. Thanks for the hard work, Nuck. We all owe you.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Rowell and Ray Ridder allow absolutely no gray area in their bagging on Mullin. There is no gray area for lots of fans and the black and white in this league doesn't shake out the way now-irrelevant team reps like Rowell and Ridder wish it would. You lose, the excuses can be kept up your ass. It's as simple as that. For example, no one knew shit about the Sharks, thought they were worth a damn, then couldn't understand why they sucked ass in the playoffs again. Well, now the trend is fucking set regardless of how many folks actually learned the game as a result of some consistent winning percentage success (not me): The Sharks are soft and heartless. No amount of team equipment boys calling in to KNBR fixes it. Time to renovate. Likewise, Ridder and Rowell can try to construct a bad guy on this broken Warriors franchise at the last minute, getting in last shots on their scapegoat instead of talking about the team's direction in any meaningful, ditch the shitwings and drunk coaches sense as the season closes and the media packs up its things for the Summer. But that's the story, like it or not, and there's a very clear lineage in place unless Nelson stops screwing with the youth and Rowell stops screwing with, well, NBA basketball at all. Mullin figured it out, built the winner and stocked the future, and then got sabotaged by money-grubbing nothings. Better win like fuck now, Bobby. Better win like fuck. Blaming Mullin next Summer isn't an option.
Mullin may be fighting back a bit in the press as Rowell and Ridder ask media folks to portray Mullin as the bad guy, but what could Mullin possibly be adding to the story at this point? That the Warriors make terrible signings, can't put together a real team, and go for the most expedient sales-gimmicky garbage and salary protection, cost-cutting irrelevance they think they can afford with fans while still making that sweet sweet cash? For 15 years running? That the front office is a league laughing stock? For 15 years running? Sorry Rowell/Ridder/Nelson, associated proven failures (The Larry's, Riley and Harris- W-O-W do those guys fucking SUCK): Everyone already knows who you are. Maybe you're mad because it's the story as the major veteran contract and coaching decisions this year are decisively proven disastrous. Everyone's on edge in Warriorland USA and lashing out. But Mullin gets out clean in this thing and a Terrence Williams draft selection would really seal the deal. Mullin screwed up constantly early, learned his job, did his job, got the team winning, and now it's losing in epic fashion amidst his rumored/certain ouster as Otis Smith builds a shit ball firehouse in Orlando and Larry Brown makes Rod Higgins seem useful in Charlotte.
There may be litigation if Mullin joins another team in time to work June 25th for them. Mullin wins this thing in completely crippling fashion for a little shit like Rowell, if so. Litigation would suggest value and threat to the Cohan Empire. Chasing after that cash is precisely what they would do, what the Business school idiots who fucked this country over will say they SHOULD do, and if there are grounds, it would have been what the team WOULD HAVE DONE until I and others started to give them shit for it while they shit the bed on actual team development that doesn't just fuck with the fans relentlessly. But actually doing it now will just be another log on the fire. The team's identity is set in stone and everyone knows it. The competition between Sterling and Cohan may be won by Cohan in the final analysis but, let's be serious for a moment instead of Poster War 09 morons: What?! We beat Donald Sterling for unworst NBA ownership?! THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO?!?!?
These guys owning and running the show are here to break relationships and pinch pennies while selling snake oil to the idiotic masses they despise. They may want to win, but they have no idea how, and Nelson's shitball puts us in the middle third of the Western Conference. Period. This is the best they can do and Musselman was already there. Just less fun. But really the damage was far less under Musselman. Yet he, too, was demonized for being a pain in the ass. Whatever, it's a rough league and he didn't exactly show much in Sacramento but, then again, Sac is in full rebuild after FINALLY admitting they had nothing going. Musselman probably deserves a pass on that. He may not deserve a head coaching gig but that's part of the pass he gets in the big picture. But he and Montgomery cannot be blamed for jack shit. They never got over on Rowell, apparently. That's the message: Rowell's "been here" for 10 years or whatever. He fucking said so back when he was staking his claim to his fave media junket scribe, Janny Hu. Then he clammed up until it was time to sell some tickets this month. Brilliant, brilliant man.
This Rowell guy deserves no pass. He's a reactionary little bust of an executive when it comes to basketball decisions and he apparently wants to hand the LONGTERM, not just two year reigns to a notorious drunken impulse buyer, Don Nelson. Good luck selling CJ Watson and Corey Maggette again next year, you worthless fucks. Nelson does NOT fill a vacuum effectively. He just sucks more life out of it FOR LONGER. The wake left by a Nelson Quit Job is well-chronicled. Recovery is long, hard, and costs the images of elite NBA figures every time. This is an image league and Nelson thrives on exploiting that thin fabric with rules changes and personality wars that ultimately hurt the league, not help it. He gets paid either way. THAT is the Nelson legacy. He gets paid either way.
Now, there's reason for hope in Warriorland as the last relevant NBA player from the past, Mitch Richmond, starts his own Rowell Screwjob countdown. Larry Riley and Larry Harris are brilliant draft minds. Big Country Reeves, agent pissing contests over Yi in Milwaukee, the list goes on. Andrew Bogut instead of Chris Paul? Was that Nellie's pal's kid's move, too? Super duper.
The best story in the league would be Mullin's ascension as a HOF player in the middle of an exciting rebuild project, probably under D'Antoni, but still on his home turf and free from whatever these little Cali Office Park Douchebags think they're doing. The WORST story will be the Bush League cronyism taking over a pathetically insular and introverted, passive aggressive do-nothing Warriors ownership-managerial infrastructure. Nelson's shameless 2-year paid retirement party is highlighted by its exclusive invitee list, comprised primarily of useless, proven NBA failures. Sid Moncrief might still have a future in the league. He got the fuck out the moment Nellie ushered in his annual Quit with the words "Defensive Coordinator." The league will be all over a Mullin New York Story once D'Antoni has them winning again with the dead weight trash purged. Solid gold Mullin if he's lucky enough to have those connections to Walsh and wants it.
If/when Mullin bolts the scene, it leaves Rowell finally and officially holding the bag on not only this wasted season's series of absolutely disastrous long term commitments that have not and WILL NOT produce results since Nelson is washed up and Nelson shot his final Shit Ball Motivational wad all over 2007 before Baron and Jackson went contract push in 2007-08. He gets the whole enchilada until Nellie announces he's the new Team President. Oh yeah, Rowell and Nelson also got their extensions. Nelson may be the guiding light for the team's current philosophy (half ass play and loudmouthed media agendas?) but Rowell claims he's in control of the cash and the personnel decisions. At least, when he talks to the suckers paying for the Warriors' Club 200 fan fuck, he's in charge. By the way, the Warriors are not the only team with a Club 200. It's a leaguewide gimmick. Means nothing. Don't spend money on it. Buy decent seats for a few good games and spare yourselves the worst commute/parking situation in the league. For god's sake, take BART and save cash and headaches. And the game can be much more fun on TV playing the indomitable family fun drinking game, What moronic thing will Bob Shitzgerald say or will Ray Ridder tell Jim Barnett to say next?, while getting 12 beers for the price of one Oracle water-beer.
But I digress.
Rowell wanted the credit for this team's fortunes. He's got it.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Or Rowell hated the move but wants to be sure no one thought he didn't have 100% authority when the deal was made. He totally approved that fucker. Awesome trade. Lottery picks are where we make our money. Who's Kevin Garnett? I approved that trade that was not for Kevin Garnett but Chris Mullin is incompetent for making that trade and for not getting Kevin Garnett.
I pull the strings.
I don't read the blogs because of the lies I read there.
And I call up bloggers to tell them what to write.
Don't worry dude. We understand you P-E-R-F-E-C-T-L-Y.
Holy fucking shit.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Warriors PR Team Doesn't Read Blogs...... But They HATE Them and give long message control sales pitches to approved blogs.
Robert Rowell and the Warriors are a dysfunctional nothing.
Totally full of shit.
Golden State of Mind took diligent talk point notes from Rowell the other day, like so many little WMD propaganda machines for the Bush press corps back when it was time to spread Freedom Fries and SUVs for All a few years back. Went well.
As we all know, Robert Rowell and Ray Ridder spend their days coming up with shit to spoon feed the masses and will lie about pretty much anything or, sometimes, tell the truth about just about anything, to make that sweet sweet cash. Whichever they think will move more product. Those morons in Club 200 get a little gladhanding and suddenly ALL IS FORGIVEN. Rowell is so honest, so forthright, so clearly competent the day before season ticket lock-ins are due. I trust him.
My free ticket sources haven't gone to pick up their free shit in over 5 years. It's always useless shit. Even folks in equally shitty seats skip that garbage. Club 200 is just Rowell's genius lock-in of saps and attention whores who don't know the game, don't care about the game, and won't stop paying for the shitty product as long as their butts are powdered a little.
Meanwhile, Baron Davis was apparently in line to make more here than he will for the Clippers, as long as he was willing to skip the donuts and make it through a certain amount of games over 5 years. But he sure showed the Warriors, getting that guaranteed smaller amount to coast his fat, lazy, useless ass off with. Good job, Baron! Then again, why believe Rowell? He'll lie about anything. He probably told Baron to go fuck himself and called up Corey Maggette, since Maggette was an obvious championship pick up for us. High quality. Very shrewd signing. And Azubuike- what a PLAYER! Value. Turiaf will be shooting 3 pointers next year, don't you worry. More incredible C versatility for the Nelson gimmick.
All is well.
The Ticket Sales Talkpoints:
Randolph makes it clear he owes Nelson NOTHING.
Don Nelson gave it the old college try.
Of course he did.
He's got nothing to declare these days but his "genius," nothing to offer the world but his schticks and gimmicks, so he had to run this season as equal parts Machiavellian power play and Hobbesian clusterfuck in the woods, lest the spotlight shine on, you know, a player he couldn't control and expect Christmas cards from.
The impressive list of Nelson-made, talentless shitwings and longterm nobodies during his millenial Warriors tenure: Stephen Jackson, Kelenna Azubuike, Matt Barnes, Mickael Pietrus, Marco Belinelli, CJ Watson, Rob Kurz, Jermareo Davidson, Pat Burke, etc., etc., etc.
Randolph doesn't fit: he's born to succeed in the NBA. Nelson had nothing to offer and no lifelong debt to secure like a subprime mortgage vendor.
Sure, this is a selective list. Why can't Monta be a shitwing nobody?! some Bandwagon Tool will cry out in the dead of night, alone, afraid. Well. About that. Ellis, you see, has actual fucking talent and is some sort of scary genius scorer more often than not. The primary criticism: he may be, clinically speaking, a Grade A moron. The useless criticism: He's not a point guard/doesn't play defense for defensive wizards Don Nelson and his D Coordinator, Keith Smart (Sidney Moncrief got the fuck out of Dodge as soon as Nellie started his drunken staff orgies). Irrelevant. Unfortunately for the weekend warriors hoping to stake their online claim with fantasy basketball prowess and mindless blathering: he IS a 1 guard. He's just not Jason Kidd, Chris Paul, Steve Nash, etc. Talking about "pure point guards" is just code for "we're still fucking with Monta publicly, loudly, constantly. This thing is even uglier now than it was before. We want him to force a trade, actually, since then we get stuff and can continue to demonize our franchise players."
Nelson says Ellis is back but the VOID option is still hanging over his head even as Rowell lies through his teeth to his sucker shitseat fans (like a shitwing, only THEY pay the TEAM)... after leading with a rant about those dirty bloggers and journalists and their facts, sources, and healthy skepticism of a proven failure such as himself and Don Nelson, Chris Mullin included with Larry Riley, Chris Cohan, and Larry Harris.
We're building something special here.
The snarkiest little dick bag club in the history of professional sports is pretty special, right?
Let's make Monta Ellis an unrestricted free agent for this offseason. Seems wise.
Or better yet, let's remind the league we're clueless salary protection dickbags who will move last year's faith-based initiative franchise player the year after inauguration. We're THAT GOOD. Biedrins on the block, too. Who care?! He sucks! No jump shot! Irrelevant!
Other shitwing analysts wonder why Anthony Morrow can't be a Nelson "find" and "build." These online contrarians have no prayer of a relevant basketball thought until the franchise Thought Police give them one to think. Everyone knew the league had missed the moment Morrow hit Summer League. It happens. Courney Lee, it bears mentioning, has beaten Pietrus out and would kill Marco Belinelli in an alley fight. Oh wait, he was drafted. Where am I going with this? No idea. Ronnie Brewer.
Morrow signed for some cash with a Ukraine team but someone who actually follows college ball (not Nelson) brought in the shooters and shitwings he got to choose from and Morrow was simply unstoppable in Summer League play. He was already ready, a 4-year college grad (Georgia Tech) who had essentially perfected his NBA-ready skill besides having the athleticism and the work ethic to make it for any coach with half a brain guiding decisions ahead of his jock strap.
Oh yeah, evidence and shit:
Whatever, call it a revisionist's rant. You're wrong, but whine away, Homer Moron Toolz. Morrow was on the same chopping block as Hendrix. No doubt about it. At one point, Demarcus Nelson was a legitimate keep over Morrow. Maybe Nelson makes it happen with Chicago now but he sure didn't make it happen as our opening night starting point guard and Don Nelson gave up on incorporating him, our best guard defender, into the team's season quite early. Genius talent finder/developer.
Kurz. Kurz. Kurz.
All for the sake of good clean basketball, right?
Whither Louis Amundson?
Whiter Louis Amundson?
Rowell let the cat out of the bag: Kurz was in town to eff with Anthony Randolph in practice. Randolph must have respected Richard Hendrix too much. Hendu can, after all, play NBA power forward (watch his games and follow the league seriously or STFU, I say). Brilliant. We're building trust and accountability in Oakland. Rowell's never wrong. Except about Jason Richardson! Man, screw Brandan Wright!
As you know, Rowell says he doesn't READ blogs because they are full of lies he reads. He misses Jason Richardson desperately and Chris Mullin is on the chopping block because he couldn't get Kevin Garnett or something with that gem of a contract Rowell approved 100% on a good but not $14 million wing like Richardson.
Rowell's talk point maneuvering for his captive, by-definition-sucker, Club 200 audience, establishes that anyone bagging on Wright, in any forum, has an agenda to push for the team or is drinking the Kool Aid. We knew Nelson told a HEALTHY Wright to stay away from the team and now Wright is playing it smart, suddenly he actually had SURGERY at one point! He'll be moved to a better locale and I'm sure he'll be a TOTAL bust. Toronto seems to like our top-10 busts, maybe they'll give us one miserable year from Chris Bosh for Brandan Wright's corpse. Good deal all 'round.
And here lies the point (it's not about Wright):
Viva le Cash Dump!
As it becomes abundantly clear that Anthony Randolph doesn't give a shit about Nelson's ego games, and as he and Morrow "come out" as a united front of can't-be-denied talent and charisma late in the season, there's no way to put the snake back in the box, as it were, or whatever the saying says.
Priceless moment of complete old drunk/team executive evisceration shared by Anthony Morrow, Anthony Randolph, and Jim Barnett (this season has been hardest on him) at the :26 mark:
So next year, regardless of who stays and goes around those two players, we're likely to hear more about tensions and unhappiness as Morrow approaches free agency and a likely Warriors Qualifying Offer screw job like the one they pulled with an unhappy Pietrus, and as Randolph proves he's the future of the team, too, but is left all alone post Ellis/Biedrins dumps and Bosh or Stoudemire or whomever walk-away... and then Randolph will be up for his next deal before you know it and we'll be in the same frivolous Rowell dick-swinging failure game all over again.
History teaches us what to expect from the Cohan Dynasty. Don't be the sucker here.
With such principled, purposeful behavior in our front office, it's only a matter of time before we secure our place as a legitimate, competitive franchise destination for the league's best talent. No more overpaying shitwings like Jackson and Maggette! No more desperate positional drafting like Diogu, O'Bryant, Belinelli (Richardson's replacement- STAR!). We're GOING places!!!!!
Our executives can't handle professional agents. It's as simple as that. We're not playing other teams. Rowell and Nelson are playing against NBA businessmen. Like Mullin before them, they fail. The difference is, they piss everyone off in the process and burn every bridge they traverse.
It's over, folks. Brace yourselves. Everyone's about to be fair game in the Rowell of 09.
We're totally fucked. Lock in those shitty seats for your free tote bags! We can't do it without you(r money)!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
No names have been leaked as of yet so I'll presume we're talking about Ray Ridder, Robert Rowell, and perhaps the creepy bald dude and the douche bag goateed guy who sit on the Warriors bench during games. I don't trust them, ever since the Stephen Jackson "energy drink" scandal. At any rate, the Cohan Warriors' storied inferiority complex and anal retentive neuroses are clearly firing on all cylinders as the coach sabotages his Hall of Fame putsch since he knows he's not getting in and as the players begin to openly mock Nelson and management's approach to talented youth on local TV: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8-44SuQ2AQ
"Anthony Randolph has an attitude problem!
Nelson was right to pound him!"
Tim Kawakami wrote about this first. Geoff Lepper corroborates and posits that the "Team Mullin" epithet Warriors executives are freely lobbing toward suspected Mullin sympathizers targets local writers Monte Poole and Lowell Cohn. Poole, of course, wrote a scathing story about the Warriors' executive dysfunction and Cohn has been in the curious position of occasional Nelson confidant (he broke the Nelson 08 return story) but constant "hard question" asker. Such questions have no doubt been asked by others, questions like:
"Should Randolph have played sooner, like maybe while you were dicking around with Al Harrington as a captain despite his discontent and ongoing requests to be traded?"
The Poole article:
Kawakami has some Bill Simmons national exposure and seems to be read online by an increasingly vast audience. He was once accosted by Raiders front office executives and, rumor has it, Don Nelson can't stand him and would love to throw empty beer cans in his general direction. It's always a plus to match the Raiders' dysfunction. Always.
The executive team's spate of media baiting on the Mullin issue amounts to full admission of open hostilities in the front office, as if we needed further confirmation of the Cohan Tradition. Their broad paranoia about media coverage outside the glossy press release versions of reality they must honestly believe in some stubborn performative sense is national legend, much like the Warriors' lack of defense makes for the dominant TV talk point in the opposition's play-by-play. This executive malaise is precisely what Ric Bucher reported at the start of the season.
Nelson scoffed off Bucher as having only ever gotten one thing right, that "one thing" being Chris Webber and the last Nelson-Warriors messy divorce. But Bucher has quite a bit right whether Don Nelson can handle it or not (he can't). Nelson's famous love affair with the media ended this year as he failed to master a different mediascape, one he really has no clue about and has never bothered to keep up on. He's been irritable and defensive all season and the offseason figures to find him in Maui, incommunicado, as Robert Rowell and Larry Riley draft with Larry Harris whispering sweet nothings in their ear about sales gimmicks and floor spreading. Griping about Bucher is par for the course this year. More like rut.
Nelson is, quite frankly, used up for this league. Keith Smart's recent coaching turns suggest Nelson is still plotting his escape route. Once he figures out how to keep the cash, he's gone. This Hall of Fame correction to his ego should finally make him care less about the volume wins record, since it's not enough for him to make it. Lenny Wilkens made it in with the wins record, a history of impressive team building, and even the title of Inventor of the point forward. Oh, plus a championship and far fewer charges of "asshole" thrown around the national media with his name attached to them.
On the point forward:
Nelson is nothing more than a money-grubbing, power-hungry pain in the ass who knows how to screw with the opposition until games turn into sloppy track meets sans accountability or defense. Bucher was free to disregard the irrelevancy of the Warriors and the drunk, bitter, washed-up Nellie media-baiting because he has more important work to do and knew the team's dysfunctional ownership and management had lost it YET AGAIN. He'd already "won" whatever Warriors vs. Media distraction Rowell and Ridder had cooked up in lieu of honest hard work on legitimately competitive longterm basketball infrastructure.
Bucher won't bother with Kawakami's brand of "I told you so," though I like Tim's approach to a rabid and passionate readership. But Bucher doesn't have to engage the Warriors' passive-aggressive, faith-based fan populus directly, and they would only be more encouraged to blindly support the dysfunction if they thought the nation was against them and they hadn't figured out the truth on their own yet. Kudos to Ric for letting us learn at our own pace and allowing a few to close up their wallets before their egos forced them to spend, spend, spend on crap, crap, crap.
There are no other explanations for the depth of bullshit the team wades through to finish terrible season # 14 out of 15 in the Chris Cohan ownership. It's all on Cohan and his minions.
Don't quote me the 49 wins last year, Stephen Jackson, because 1. you only won 48 and 2. it was blowed the fuck up during the offseason only because the interpersonal crap during the real season was so heinously botched and jabbed at with a pointy Nellie stick. Only the playoffs get a pass of any sort and even THAT has become just another cog in the RRRRRR (Robert Rowell-Ray Ridder Reality Regulation) machine with the bloom off the rose that was that gimmicky dream matchup with a major Nellie score to settle and a major Baron Davis payday to secure undergirding the team play we all enjoyed completely.
Read it and weep:
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Rob Kurz shits the bed again.
Don Nelson gives Kurz the game ball as thanks for doing his taxes.
Warriors got their patented meaningless end of season win against a lounging road weary team that, technically, is playoff-caliber. It was pretty fun, I must admit.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
I'm holding my breath.