Robert Rowell & Kirk Lacob kicked off the "Fresh Era." Well done.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

0-3 vs. MEM on the Year but still picking after them in the draft. Oh, and Bill Simmons eviscerates us.

Game Summary: SUCK

For the Unfortunate Volunteers and Paid Stooges in the Warriors' RRRRRR Department (Robert Rowell, Ray Ridder, Reality Regulation):

[From Bill Simmons' oh, multimillion reader-strong mailbag this week]
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/090331

Q: YES! YES, YES, YES!!! Please write about Anthony Randolph! I've been telling people about him all year long. There's never been an NBA player with his size and skill set. Ever. He's a looong 6-foot-10, runs like a gazelle, has great hops, and can handle the ball. Love it. As an added bonus, he looks like he's constantly crying or really getting his feelings hurt. He's fascinating. I get genuinely giddy any time the Warriors are on, for him alone. Can you please let America know about Anthony Randolph?-- Aaron, Chicago

SG: He's one of the most breathtaking rookies I've seen in person -- ever -- for all the reasons you just described. There has never been anyone quite like him. He's like a cross between Josh Smith and Lamar Odom, only if you fed him 10 Red Bulls and told him right before the game, "If you can make 10 things happen during the 10 minutes you play tonight, we will quadruple your salary and you will start for the rest of the season" ... and then he does just that, but the coach reneges on the promise so Anthony has a near-crying meltdown on the bench. That's every Anthony Randolph game. I caught him once and, in the span of two hours, he made three "MY GOD!" plays and broke down on the Warriors' bench because Nellie wouldn't put him back in, followed by an assistant consoling him through an entire timeout like Randolph was a third grader who got in trouble for something he didn't do, then had a meltdown and got kicked out of class. It was riveting. The odds of me missing another Clips-Warriors game for the next five years are 10,000-to-1.

One other thing: There hasn't been nearly enough made of how screwed up the Warriors are right now. Their front office and ownership situation is a world-class mess. Their coach has been in "I'm Keith Hernandez" Mode since the 2007 Dallas upset and looks like he's actively trying to get fired. They have two young players everyone loves -- Randolph and Monta Ellis -- only they've been antagonized to the degree that it might affect them long-term. In Randolph's case, how can a lottery team not play a talent like Randolph 35 minutes a game? What the hell is going on here??? For some reason, the only media member who seems to care is Tim Kawakami. I don't get it. If I were a Warriors fan, I would be organizing protests outside the arena complaining about Randolph's playing time. It's insane. Imagine if Chicago was 16-50 and played Derrick Rose 10 minutes a game. Would you think that was weird? You would, right? Welcome to Anthony Randolph's world. This is the single weirdest subplot of the 2008-09 season, narrowly edging Zaza Pachulia's bacne.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

What do Troy Murphy, Ike Diogu, and Marco Belinelli have in common?

Troy
12/30/06-1/15/07:
8 GP (3 weeks DNP before).~20 MPG. Known commodity, injuries to check out, then shipped. Now 1/2 of the better end of the trade for longterm considerations (expires much sooner than Jackson, has not cost team 2 games hanging on rims, etc.).

Ike
12/17/06-1/15/07:
14 GP, some starts. (2 months DNP before).~15 MPG. Minor piece w/upside in "The Trade" (sweetener).

Marco
12/6/08-1/11-09:
20 GP, some starts. (numerous DNPs despite being a seemingly useful Nellie shitwing, after a nothing rookie season following major and undeserved "STAR" hype from SL BS chucking under Keith Dumb).

BUT, Marco got appreciably more run and put much more on the board in his trade showcase than Diogu or Murphy had. Has to be assumed that the Warriors were attempting to push him as a semi-major piece, not a minor or sweetener piece.

Then radio silence, now injury talk.
QUITE the ankle sprains on this team...

There are obvious variations and the mid January cutoff is irrelevant; the trade deadline is of course in February. Nevertheless, Belinelli did not play again until after the trade deadline. RIGHT after the trade deadline.

I'm sure it's all circumstantial coincidence. The Homer Moron Tools will certainly take that position in a fit of contrarian irrelevance, per the Poster Wars 09 Playbook.

We know the team's love of statistical garbage in its own promotional work (Fitzgerald, etc.) and it's no secret that the league does deal in numbers talk. So it looks suspiciously like the Warriors got a 20 game stretch from Belinelli, got some points and assists numbers to bandy about, then sat him. Now even relatively clean stat work in his limited work since "the Unjury" can't get him a crack at playing time in a broken, lost season with shitwings being benched left and right? We'll need to see him A TON down this stretch without the shitwings, right?

More of the same from a dead organization.

We Look GREAT without Corey Maggette & Team PERs.

Now if we could only ditch that fantastic bitching and chucking clown, Stephen Jackson. He's benched so he won't get booed anymore at home games in between pizza giveaways and towel rocket launchings. Period. He sucks. The turf toe is the lame excuse we always get when he sucks and has chucked the season away, which is pretty much all the time unless you're a worthless fantasy basketball geek with no actual concern for good team basketball.

In other news, at what point do the most idiotic Nellie Shitwing Sandwich-eating fanboys and girls begin to say Belinelli has no heart, no motor, is a bust, should concentrate on his culinary work, is a D League talent, etc.? Because Nellie seems to have decided he's useless well before the bullshit injury talk popped up. On the injury "woes," the team is going for full absurdist apocalypse in the training room with this wasted season now but that has no bearing upon the terrible personnel and gameplan decisions that built this shitty roster and shitty season in the first place. If you're holding out hope for the Don Nelson Swan Song, you're a Bandwagon stooge or a lifetime, irredeemable sucker.

Anyhoo, the return of the team PER breakdown:

Warriors PER (NBA Average: 15.00)
Biedrins 20.02
Wright 18.81
Jason Richardson 17.04
Maggette 16.87
Randolph 16.31
Jackson 16.25
Al Harrington 15.70
Morrow 15.47
Baron Davis 15.24
Azubuike 15.15
Turiaf 14.91
Crawford 14.75
Louis Amundson 14.14
Ellis 13.96
Watson 13.51
Matt Barnes 12.70
Mickael Pietrus 12.50
Davidson 12.39
Belinelli 11.89
The Kurz 9.98 - Preparing law school applications

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Anatomy of a Nellie Shitwing Sandwich

Short Version
Don Nelson: Shitball Addict. Lifetime of Suck. Can't win shit. Long line of shitwing chuckers racking up Nellie Points, then nothing. Evidence:
http://www.basketball-reference.com/coaches/nelsodo01c.html

Cathartic Version
Don Nelson has spent his career getting contact and paint rules changed and his various quarter-long impact and anomalous game look gimmicks perfected, all in the interest of playing 5 scoring guards at the same time and turning the game into a sloppy track meet with no tangible pace-control defense ever making an appearance. He's never won anything and his losing record in the playoffs- .452- is, at least, better than the .402 career winning percentage of his latest trio of shitwing chuckers (Jackson, Maggette, Crawford). But we all know how the Nellie script closes. Front office feuds, weird power plays, manipulation of players, various anti-media agendas he spends more time crafting than he does coaching (the Sac Bee hit on Bay Area media was especially charming).

In short, almost all of Nellie's career can be characterized as:

BULLSHIT

Robert Rowell adores bullshit. Eats it for breakfast. Has a BS vending machine rigged in his condo that doesn't need quarters. Slurps the stuff, spits it out to reporters, concocts some more with Ray Ridder later that same day. It's a lifestyle choice. These two geniuses-of-the-swindle combine forces to enable the most expedient bullshit possible and peddle it to the most forgiving, now-bordering-on retarded, fanbase in the country (have money, will spend). Combined with the master of irrelevance, Don Nelson, this is a lethal combination of shitwings and talk points. Bob Fitzgerald's bloated, oily, pasty little head is ready to pop from the cognitive dissonance and message-shift pressures this season. The shitstorm is undeniable and, quite frankly, bordering on very, very impressive. Seriously, how the hell could ANYONE else fuck things up so heinously in such a short span of time?!

So, where to start? How about with some purely circumstantial dollar equivalence...

Monta Ellis screwed up. Rowell says the team can void him after taking his money. He also says that money will go back to the fans. Let's see... did the team lose $3 million as it pushed the $8 tickets and half-price family fun packs? Someone should do the math. Judging by season ticket price adjustments THAT THE ENTIRE LEAGUE IS MAKING DUE TO THE ECONOMY, I'd say the Warriors still owe their fans 3 million bucks. Put it toward a Nellie buyout and we've made progress. Or, pay it to Kelenna Azubuike.

That was easy.

Anyway, Ellis is fine and on the way to becoming the franchise piece again or, to hear Warriors PR and its associated media/blogger-o-spehere tentacles tell it, he's a headcase attitude problem and the fans should be happy to see him hit the road. Man, fuck that guy, right? CJ Watson had an essay contest in Las Vegas. Look at the development of (37 year old) C.J. Watson! Eat it.

OK, Kelenna Azubuike. Shitwing extraordinaire and this month's Overachieving Upsideless 25-Year Old. (We're building for the future by starting him and playing him more than Biedrins, Brandan Wright, Anthony Randolph, etc.).

Oh, screw it. You know the rest.
He scores some points now and then, can hit a 3, get a board, can't D, does what Nellie tells him to and amounts to ANOTHER Nellie "find" off the scrap heap. He won't win anyone shit and we have played him like a serious piece all year instead of just playing the fucking REAL youth and working on a relevant future.
Add him to the list.

Nelson gets them, "builds" them, wins nothing with them, makes his money, and moves on. They may get paid by another team, but more likely, they just turn into pumpkins again. Nelson has a gimmick that is world class. The parts are interchangeable and he consistently turns the parts that would build a legitimate contender away and finds some manic depressive cop out when his big, or even slightly above average win total, regular season shitball squad falls on its face at the first sign of resistance.

Tell you what, here is the phenomenal Basketball-Reference.com Don Nelson coaching record page. It links to every roster Don Nelson has ever coached. My general assessment, and I'm right, along with scores of serious Don Nelson biographers of SUCK, is that the gimmick is obvious, habitual, and historical. He finds shitwings, they have no problem amassing passbale fantasy offense stats, the team is "exciting" or "on the brink of greatness," and then we fans get to enjoy the latest Nellie Special: The Shitwing Sandwich.

It all falls apart, smells funny, and we paid Filet Mignon prices.

Poke around a bit and see what shakes out for you, or not:
http://www.basketball-reference.com/coaches/nelsodo01c.html


*Note: For my illiterate fans, yes, this post is mildly performative.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Hendu with ANOTHER double-double

Richard Hendrix- "Rich," to those who know him from his website- continues to lead the world in rebounding. 17 more last night, 12 points, 4 assists, 2 blocked shots. On the year: http://www.nba.com/dleague/playerfile/index.jsp?player=richard_hendrix

League-leading... didn't that indicate D-League scrubs could maybe fill roles in the NBA? Kelenna Azubuike and CJ Watson, Jermareo Davidson, Wil Bynum, etc., etc., etc.? Hendrix would kill 37-year olds Rob Kurz and Jermareo Davidson in practice.

I know, I know, "No one's picked him up in the NBA!"

Meanwhile, NO ONE is taking on excessive contractual obligations to try guys on this year. Every few hundred thou counts. We have Rob fucking Kurz GUARANTEED hundreds of thousands of dollars to do NOTHING but satisfy Don Nelson's ego. But hey, these things can be evaluated on a completely rational, on court talent and regular development program-centric plane of OK. Everything's OK. Nellie's at the wheel. In Nelson We Trust.


We're so fucked.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Hendu with another double-double

I'm saying it and the Warriors' company men can blow me:

Richard Hendrix always was, is now, and always will be a better NBA prospect than Rob Fucking Kurz and Jermareo Fucking Davidson.

The Warriors have serious problems. I get that some Team PR idiots with online pissing contests to wage 24/7 don't see second round draft picks as a source of significant evidence of Suck or Not. I do. I understand that Bob Shitzgerald's job is to hype pathetic wastes of space like Jermareo Davidson, Rob Kurz, and Stephen Jackson no matter what, since the team pays him to give on-air team talkpoint blowjobs 3 hours of every weekday and an extra 4 hours or so game night. I do. And I know that Jim Barnett's silence and off-the-cuff disdain for Corey Maggette and Marco Belinelli is the clue to follow if you're still learning the game, sportsfans. I do.

But come on. If you haven't WATCHED Richard Hendrix, in Summer League or in D League games (free online, any time you want), or, heaven forbid, when he was in the SEC at Alabama, and if you're holding strong on some irrelevant "Nellie and Riley saw him that one time, that says it all!" (Chris Webber. DeMarcus Nelson. Rob Kurz. Jermareo Davidson. Monte Poole), well you don't count. You're beyond salvation, at this point, and obviously making money off of the online forums you "moderate." Etc.

Richard Hendrix was jobbed by a shitty franchise. That's the default now for ANYONE picked by the Warriors, currently on the roster or otherwise. It is and you have to accept it. Just get over it. And the point is that, if and when we bother to talk about his playing (those who have never seen him play and don't care about the actual game, just your online dick-swinging, pay attention), it's evident that he'd be a better garbage man backup than Kurz or Davidson have any prayer of being. NOT that he's a clear NBA role player, ever. And as a mirror into the Nellie Ball Franchise Killing Soul, Richard Hendrix is PRECISELY the name the party line stooges should marginalize. At all costs. As the folks with the sources continue to confirm, Nellie was pissed when he was ordered to cut Kurz and keep Hendrix and he got his way after that. Whoop-de-frickin-doo, we've been unstoppable ever since... Brilliance is so quirky, isn't it?

Gregg Popovich is not quirky. Gregg Popovich is fucking scary.

I like scary if it wins rings.
I hate quirky if it wins free scotch.

The Warriors are a shitty organization under Chris Cohan. They just are. They always have been, everyone knows it, and career losers like Stephen Jackson and Corey Maggette made sure to get their priorities met- cash- by this team instead of bothering to find a winning team to play for or a relevant franchise to "lead" because they knew they could and that was the end of their to-do list. Get. Paid. Mission Accomplished. Baron Davis tried to get his cash and jumped ship when he didn't get it easy. Now he's back where he belongs, BSing and snacking while the team he should be the "heart and soul" of shits the bed for 82 games. Ellis and Biedrins are (were) imminently tradeable young pieces who will probably become the next round of Jamison-Sprewell-Richardson-Dunleavy-Murphy-etc. as the team can't keep it's anus unpuckered over anyone it commits more than $50 million to. They'll be gone or they'll be wasted. Think we're keeping Belinelli, Wright, and Randolph? No fucking way. I predict at least TWO of them are gone before the end of next season. Book it.


Warriors Basketball 1994-present:

Nothing to see here.

Warriors are BACK!

We beat the Clippers on our home floor.
Maggette almost coughed it up, but we persevered.

We beat the Clippers!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Warriors are BACK!

We beat the Nets!

The Nets made 12 shots in the second half.
They missed 24.

Warriors defense obviously exceptional. Believe it.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Kings vs. Warriors

Let's put on our thinking caps for a moment and assume the following:

2009-10 Golden State Warriors Roster
Kelenna Azubuike
Marco Belinelli
Andris Biedrins
Jermareo Davidson
Stephen Jackson
Rob Kurz
Corey Maggette
Anthony Randolph
Ronny Turiaf
C.J. Watson

#6-8 draft pick

Jason Kidd?


2009-10 Sacramento Kings Roster
Francisco Garcia
Donte Greene
Spencer "Bush" Hawes
Kevin Martin
Andres Nocioni
Jason Thomson
Kenny Thomas's expiring contract
Beno Udrih

#1 draft pick

$12-20 million in cap space, potentially unused if team remains in Sacramento.

The list of (arguably) worthwhile potential free agents, restricted included, looks like this:
Josh Childress, Marvin Williams, Leon Powe, Raymond Felton, Ben Gordon, Anderson Varejao, Brandon Bass, Jason Kidd, Linas Kleiza, Chris Andersen (he gonna get paid), Walter Hermann, Allen Iverson, Antonio McDyess, Rasheed Wallace, Jamal Crawford, Ron Artest, Jarrett Jack, Rasho Nesterovic, Trevor Ariza, Kobe Bryant, Lamar Odom, Hakim Warrick, Jamario Moon, Ramon Sessions, Charlie Villanueva, Bobby Brown, David Lee, Nate Robinson, Chris Wilcox, Hedo Turkoglu, Andre Miller, Louis Amundson, Matt Barnes, Grant Hill, Ime Udoka, Carlos Delfino, Shawn Marion, Paul Millsap, Carlos Boozer, Kyle Korver, Mehmet Okur.

Warriors can't make any signings until they void Monta and get Crawford to opt out.

The Kings have a mess in their offices and the owners are losing serious money across the board, according to reports. But they're the team in PRIME position to fit the Stern credo for the 21st century of accountable young nuclei. They just need the fan base and refreshed infrastructure. I think they'll try to work the new arena deal out one more time and it may even work and it seems likely the team asked for a loan from the league. So while it's ugly now, they're making aggressive moves to purge expensive veterans who are on their last legs. Sacramento is pushing a full and legitimate Portland/OKC-style reset to be a competitive team in the future and an EXTREMELY desirable purchase target should some investors somewhere have any ability to make such a move in this economy. They're the obvious first call from any city with an arena and a development group (aka, SAN JOSE AND NOWHERE ELSE ON EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME LEVEL AT THIS TIME!) looking to bring a team in from the storm of a decayed market elsewhere, owners and all.

Besides any potential relocation, and I still see the Kings remaining in Sacramento at least another year, perhaps even getting the (ill-advised) stadium deal put together, this could be a great chance to acquire longterm difference makers by being proactive and aggressive on this RFA market while the big draws typically used as leverage by agents stand pat in impossible-to-keep secret preparation for 2010 or work on acquiring the upper shelf max players like Boozer and Marion. The Warriors could have been in on this but instead picked up longterm commitments to career losers like Jackson, Maggette, and Crawford, and are now beginning to try to get out from some of that in the most unprofessional ways possible. We're not building a reputation for being a desirable players' destination. Quite the opposite.

A lot of RFAs could accept the qualifying offers this year. Next summer will be a brutal repositioning of league talent. The Kings will have another double digit millions clearance under the cap for 2010, so adding talent now doesn't hurt them at all. If Nelson somehow survives his current contract and gets the players he wants for the VERY short term, the Kings will streak past the Warriors no later than 2011.

Fickle fans live in the moment, but 2007 is a distant memory.

Wake up.

Eff You.

GO KINGS!!!!!

We're Building Something Special Here

With the news of Don Nelson and Jamal Crawford's love affair spreading like wildfire,

http://www.ibabuzz.com/warriors/2009/03/06/nellie-wants-crawford-to-opt-out/
http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/2009/03/05/the-monta-elliswarriors-angst-can-either-side-win-here/#comment-136597
http://www.realgm.com/boards/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=888189&start=45&st=0&sk=t&sd=a,

coupled with the potential problems with the Ricky Rubio buyout/cash-saving trade to a Euro team more likely to hold onto his rights, making our offseason pursuit of the geriatric malcontent Jason Kidd all the more crucial (and expensive, years and dollars-wise) to the Tank Believers' latest mythology given the Monta Ellis trainwreck disaster, almost certain void or trade, the Marco Belinelli arrival as a ridiculously overrated (thanks to the Nellie hype) shitwing chucker, and then the Don telling the 100% healthy Brandan Wright to stay away from the team like he's Marcus Williams while he complains about Anthony Randolph's legs after playing him 45+ on a supposedly strained groin, and then the shitty vets just not playing because they're career losers who might get their feelings hurt if they don't score 20 points or whatever the bullshit is about....

Yeah, this team is a big fat fucking joke.


GO KINGS!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Someone Needs a Hug...

How the hell did I miss this?!

http://forums.contracostatimes.com/topic/open-letter-to-chris-cohan

One correction: since this letter was written, Cohan's career winning percentage has dropped.

One addendum: the current veteran core of Jackson, Maggette, and Crawford has a career winning percentage well under .400 minus Jackson's distant year as Roger Mason in the San Antonio system.

One response: I'll start getting the paperwork together tonight.


Here's the letter:

Dear Chris Cohan,

As we head toward being mathematically eliminated from the playoffs again, it's time to look forward. There's a lot of things that conspired against us this season, including tough injuries and an equally tough first half schedule. Nevertheless, this year conforms to a trend that's been happening for many years. The 2006-2008 seasons were the anomaly.

We've been through many coaches, players, and even GMs during this past decade and a half but one thing has remained constant: You, Chris Cohan, as being the majority owner. We're coming upon 15 years of your ownership now. And here's your record during that time (up until tonight's game):

442 wins and 731 losses. That's a .377 winning percentage. Ouch.

The Warriors fans are the best in the country yet for 13 of the last 15 years it feels like we've been repeatedly kicked in the groin. I still don't understand why/how you let Chris Mullin be treated the way he is. The only time the Warriors were winning in the past 2 decades was when he was playing an integral part, as a player or GM. He's too classy to say anything publicly, but you're kicking a Bay Area icon in the groin too. When the Bay Area fans booed you at the 2000 All Star Game... well you kind of spent the majority of the next 8 years proving that they were right. To quote Homer Simpson "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." The last part is rather harsh, but it's time to sell 51% of the Warriors to those who can do it better. That wouldn't be so bad, considering you would still be protecting yourself from upside risk as well as getting some liquidity in your pockets. And who wouldn't mind getting a little extra liquidity these days? Just ask Citibank. You can still focus on the things you do well, like the charitable dynamics of the Warriors.

Please stop kicking us in the groin. Sell the remaining 51% of the Warriors.

Does VetGate = San Jose Kings Cover Up??? Warriors 3 Amigos Win at .402 Career Clip!


Coaching to Distract
Don Nelson has long been the NBA standard-bearer for screwing around with the media. This season, he's spent most of his time lashing out at the New Media and the Mega Media as the local folks play Patsy to his Crazy.
(http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2009/02/doa.html)
But it looks as though he managed to silence the masses through the weekend and bury any potential news of Sacramento Kings relocation filing events, perhaps to San Jose. It would have happened Sunday, March 1st, but no one seems to have heard anything about it.

On Sunday, the Warriors were benching Stephen Jackson and watching Anthony Randolph shred some legitimate NBA bigs until it was time to put the game away and play Maggette at the 4. Or whatever the Genius did. I don't remember and I don't care, at this point. Something crazy and useless, no doubt. Crawford was the first public benching the Friday before, in that pathetic loss to the Rod Higgins-run, Larry Brown-coached Charlotte Bobcats (let's ask li'l Bobby Rowell about all THAT, shall we?). Friday was supposedly the day of the Kings' big meeting with Sacramento officials and "investment interests" (there must be a lot!), to determine the status/burial preferences of the dead-in-the-water Cal Expo plan. So Nelson successfully made his drunken, vet-coddling, youth-screwing senility the center of attention AGAIN while potential serious business went down up Highway 80.

BRILLIANT!

This brings us 'round to what's really important about the team now.

Not just GO KINGS!


Coaching To WIN
The announcement was that the youth would play most. Then, mysteriously, EVERYONE was hurt or sick! Even Randolph, now, but not Morrow, Williams, Belinelli, etc.? I don't know how Nelson keeps his interpersonal soap operas straight. Maybe Stephen Silas has a computer program for that, too. The top 6 players by minutes for the first 3 games in March show change is coming: Crawford, Jackson, Maggette, Biedrins, Azubuike, Watson. The Friday, February 27th home loss to Charlotte: Watson 44, Jackson 42, Azubuike 38, Maggette 29, Biedrins 29, and Marco Belinelli subbing for Crawford's 38 with... 22.

Oh yeah, things are gonna CHANGE around here!

Minutes leaders on the year:

Jackson 40, Crawford 38, Ellis on one leg 33, Harrington on no legs 33, Maggette 33, Biedrins 31, Azubuike 31, Watson 25, Belinelli 21, Turiaf 20.

Criminal. Our team is full of shit. Period.

Andris Biedrins will miss the Detroit matchup and probably the remainder of the Midwest road trip and Anthony Randolph figures to be benched, too. There's no chance the vets are benched because Nelson would then be forced to play Marcus Williams or more Marco Belinelli/Anthony Morrow than he can survive. It's perfect; make some noise, capture the nation's hearts and minds, then don't do anything you said you would but have the latest iron clad excuse ready to wear. Nellie is a mastermind at shit like this. It's all he does these days, in fact. Davidson and Kurz are obvious longterm building blocks, so expect to see lots of them this weekend, too. Savor it.

Now I understand some of the passionate defenders of Nelson's antics, who see Nelson's criminally short leash and reliance on truly terrible veteran chuckers as some sort of intelligence training. I really do. Belinelli throws balls away and doesn't play transition defense at all? He should be yelled at. Randolph goes coast to coast and throws up a prayer? He should be yelled at. Anthony Morrow misses his one shot per 10 games? He should be yelled at. Brandan Wright can't keep Shaq from scoring down low? He should be yelled at. Andris Biedrins can't stop the entire Phoenix front line while Jamal Crawford, CJ Watson, Kelenna Azubuike, and Stephen Jackson race to the other end of the floor to fight over spots on the 3 point line? He should be yelled at. And so on. All deserve to be yelled at for Nelson's insistence upon setting them up to fail miserably. The Pollyanna Apologists have a point. Nelson is beyond reproach and the young players deserve whatever he sees fit to do to them.

That's out of the way then. Nelson is right and he's teaching these kids, talented or Rob Kurz, to WIN. His examples are Stephen Jackson, Corey Maggette, and Jamal Crawford, three players with a combined career winning percentage (this is why you pay me the big bucks) of...

Well let's just have a look at the Mighty Shitwing Triumvirate's career "stints" with assorted losers:

Stephen Jackson
We'll start with the guy with the ring, since that's the first place his two online nutmunchers head when times are tough, followed immediately by his points per game, assists, and not-his-turn overs or myriad moron moments. Certainly not the recent news that he was one of 5 NBA players to repeatedly be named an undesirable teammate by 190 interviewed NBA players. Tim Duncan probably included, with the microphones turned off:
http://fannation.sportsillustrated.cnn.com/si_blogs/staff/posts/54741-si-players-nba-poll-which-player-would-you-least-like-to-have-on-your-team

Jackson began his career in New Jersey at age 22 after bouncing around some lesser leagues and Venezuela for a few years instead of going to college. He played at the prestigious Oak Hill Academy, a Virginia basketball factory that has produced 20 NBA players to date (Jackson won't crack the top 10 when all is said and done), including Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony, Rajon Rondo, Jerry Stackhouse, and "current Warrior" Marcus Williams. He started 40 games and played in 77 as a 22-year-old rookie, fluent in Spanish of course as our beaters hammered home January 18th, 2007. The Nets were an abysmal 26-56. He rarely played his first year as a nothing pick up in San Antonio, effectively not playing (227 total minutes, his career low by far), then had his unrivaled best year in the NBA as a defense-first, low-volume offense piece. He was not high percentage but he made a difference the team cared about before Jackson made a huge racket about cash and went for it in Atlanta as Bowen, Ginobili, and co. became legitimate World Class Champions and Jackson became a shitball journeyman chucker with one or two very bright moments here and there.... pre-contract extension. And he decked some fans at some point. Shot up a strip club. Classy.

The points and assists are there under Nelson. Not much else. Easily the most overrated Warrior in Chris Cohan's tenure as owner. They'll swear he's not overpaid, but he's around for 4 more years. The dollars are irrelevant; Jackson peaked two years ago and it's only going to get uglier. Jackson's career winning numbers as a major rotation player, including the Indiana/Golden State 2006-07 composite, are the best of the Mighty Trio of Suck:

311-322 (.491)


Corey Maggette
Maggette started in Orlando before launching his incredible run as one of the most irrelevant 20-point scorers in league history. His unique brand of Bowling Ball Athleticism has routinely put him among the league leaders in free throw attempts and absence of peer respect. He played less than 1000 minutes due to injury only once, in 2005-06 (943), so that's his write-off year. Incidentally, that was the Los Angeles Clippers' one playoff appearance in the last 12 years. Hmmmmm. His career winning rate is truly remarkable:

286-430 (.399)


Jamal Crawford
Crawford, best I can tell, does one thing at a better-than-average NBA level: collect 4-point plays on his 3 point attempts. Awesome. Between he and Maggette, we're involving the refs in our games more than any other team in the league. Nellie and Jackson always need a straw man, and so does Bob Shitzgerald ("The Warriors don't pay me a DIME!"), so this seems about right. He's got one write-off year (481 minutes in 2001-02), as a Bull. It was one of the worst years in Bulls history, so this is helping his cause considerably. I'm equal opportunity. He's been a shitty Bull, a shitty Knick, and now a shitty Warrior. Brilliant, let's re-sign him. You know we will. But he's good friends with Brandon Roy, so , you know.

Remember his Warriors debut in Ed Tapscott's NBA coaching debut with the league doormat Washington Wizards? We lost by 24 points to a starting lineup that included rookie center JaVale McGee, DeShawn Stevenson, and Dee Freaking Brown at point guard. Composite of his 6-5 start with the Knicks this year and the Nellie Death March tour of duty included. Holy crap:

166-384 (.302)


Grand Total: 763-1136 (.402)


Surprise, surprise, the Warriors' winning percentage under Chris Cohan is .375

Clearly, Cohan is committed to winning. He's brought in the pieces to bump him over that magical 40% mark. By the way, an excellent comparison of Warriors ownership groups can be found here: http://www.warriorsworld.net/news/latest/a-look-and-comparison-at-the-three-ownership-groups-the-warriors-have-had-in-the-bay-area.html.

Naturally, Cohan shines bright.


I'm morbidly depressed now because we've got many years and many millions committed to the legacy of crap that is this Mighty Shitwing Triumvirate, so this will be brief.

Time to cut the cord on this ownership, once and for all.

Just keep your money, folks. They haven't a clue how to spend it and they only care about taking it. They cannot, will not build any sort of legitimate NBA winner, contender, anything, and they will continue to burn all bridges and increase our isolation from the NBA community with a grand "Eff You."

GO KINGS!!!!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

"The Plan" and Such


"Movement"
A healthy core of Stephen Jackson, Corey Maggette, and Jamal Crawford gets a team jack shit and forces a senile pot head drunk to act even crazier than usual as the downward spiral continues.

Stephen Jackson played 44 minutes per game in February, took about 1/4 of the team's shots per game, 20/86, to score some empty points (Ellis hit at 60% in February once upon a time, by the way), and turned in an A/TO ratio better than only Azubuike, Ellis, and Maggette. WOW! Ellis should not have even been on the floor, we all know that now, and the Warriors trying to trade him under those conditions simply reaffirms what the entire league already knew way back in May: Business as Usual in the Cohan Empire. Nothing will change. Ever.

Fast Forward to the limp home:

Fans are YET AGAIN stuck hyping draft lottery tank jobs and touting the team's favorite party line, "20 point scorers!" as the team openly orchestrates losses. Not by benching shitty vets and letting the kids mistake the team out of games, no! Nelson's rotations are as bad as ever- WORSE, even- as the would-be hopeful moment arrives and kiddie ball is held up as the latest ticket salesy gimmicky bullshit cop-out lie from the wannabe Braintrust. Randolph is winning the game for you? Bench him until it's out of reach again. Morrow makes shots when he's in the offense and gets boards besides? Find a complaint about "defense" or something and KEEP THE BALL AWAY from him in any situation other than frantic street ball hoist mode after icing him for 10 games or so. Etc.


On Tanking
There's no youth movement brewing here. What we've actually gotten, and will continue to get, is a bunch of Azubuike and Watson with whichever shitwing vet is playing taking too many shots and throwing the ball away, with not enough real youth development.

If we've really deteriorated to calling all of this INTENTIONAL (?!), we have a serious issue as a fan base to deal with. The Warriors' fan base may actually be clinically depressed. Or something. One of the psych majors (pre-law) at Stanford or UC Berkeley who reads my stuff can rant on this if they want to. That should be enlightening.

We can get the 6th pick, realistically, if we roll over for Minnesota tonight and on the season. We gain a two percentage point boost in #1 odds then, to a whopping 6.3% chance at taking Oklahoma power forward (Nelson 5) Blake Griffin. The common logic suggests the Warriors would go for Spanish point guard and teen beat heart throb Ricky Rubio over Griffin, which is fine if Rubio is in fact in the draft. One has to assume the Warriors have some clue about this if they care enough to tank. Or, they simply want picks to package for more win-now franchise killers. B sounds like the standard Nellie agenda. Number 6 vs. number 7 seems an insignificant difference and the odds of cracking the protected top-3 are slim. VERY slim. Better odds of getting #1 than #2 or #3 if you don't have the record to back it up, or so history suggests. Perhaps the true odds do not.
Math geeks- to the math mobile!

The bottom line remains that the Warriors figure to be looking at another O'Bryant-or-Sene decision this year when all is said and done. It may be more like Tyreke Evans-or-Earl Clark, but it will be a choice between not-sure-things, projects, and role players, with the Warriors' standard gamble leaning toward high risk upside reward that is never worked on toward actual realization. For Nelson, if you don't come plug-and-play, you don't play. Unless management says Nellie has to play you (see: Randolph, Anthony). This interesting guard/wing crop creates an obvious, huge, and probably disastrous problem for a team with locked in big man talent. Fans won't buy ANOTHER 4/5 purge as Murphy racks up those pretty stats in Indiana, will they?!

Because some of these wingy college players have significant talent and might be pretty good, it's not a terrible draft but it is a draft that has the characteristic 2/3 overstock. Well the Warriors already have playing issues for the 2/3s they DO have, and that includes CJ Watson. Watson is currently auditioning for his next contract and the Warriors' starting point guard spot as a prelude to the certain-to-fail Rubio hype should the team somehow move up to get him. Taking talented but raw wings looks like more trouble for us, as they'll either play with or ahead of the shitwing vets we're paying whopping millions to or they'll be on the bench waving towels in wins against the San Jose Kings. Maggette off the bench scores points. He does not win, but he scores and is already at his realized potential. Nelson doesn't really have to coach him. That's what Nellie wants. Jackson off the bench would kill this team. He can't handle it and Nellie, to his credit, knows it. He's already lost his mind. Crawford is pissed off, too. Seems like no rookie will be formally stepping in front of them under any circumstances. So...

Adding potentially better longterm pieces like Evans, Clark, etc., is begging for more of the blow-ups we heard about when Maggette and Crawford first met each other in practice. And when such high flyers make Belinelli's poor man's point guard flash act look pretty weak next to their innate scoring, rebounding, and running sense, we're stuck either running out more and more wings to protect our failed management agenda or making REAL decisions about playing time or, the natural likelihood, burning these talented kids' rookie years and beyond to protect the MASSIVE egos in our current crop of shitwings.

It all begs the question, will the Warriors take anyone who doesn't challenge the shitwing vets and upside youth for minutes, and in turn, will that pick mean ANYTHING for the team's progress anytime before Nelson and his pets are gone?

Besides the challenge to already streaky playing time for incumbent Warriors presented by adding one of the legitimate players in this draft, the fun "Tank Move" drinking game some fans are playing during typical, season-consistent losses right now could be denying a larger problem. And I'm not simply wondering if the league is ready to pull a McHale-level censure of the team if Nelson goes too far with the vet resting/stat protecting.

A brief take on that possibility:
I think there could be grounds for league action but it seems unlikely. Nelson's incensed anger at having lost his media free pass after completely misreading the current state of NBA coverage (http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2009/02/doa.html) has resulted in heavy advertising of a plan he is not actually delivering on. Sure, there may be more League watchers for these games and they might see some funky goings-on. The highly questionable rotations and clear youth BENCHING attending the latest hype campaign does induce some severe cognitive dissonance. In response, the Pollyanna apologists/deluded team PR stooges will say, "Riley tanked and got away with it!" It is true that Riley benched Shawn Marion with a hardline injury announcement early down the post-All Star stretch last season and played his youth. Then he kept some of that youth, scuttled some others. They got Michael Beasley for their troubles. Perhaps that was a tank. But Nelson is not trying to win at all if he's benching his acknowledged heavy minute vets when healthy, just to protect their stats. He's either been wrong the entire time about these terrible me-first shitwings and hugely talented young bigmen or he's given up on the season. Guess which one Nelson is willing to commit energy to enacting and spinning? Gee.

So it's a little messy for now. Not an iron-clad pick-dispossession-worthy conspiracy case, but messy.

I'm more concerned about this:

We as fans AGAIN are left to wonder about the lingering constant in Warriors basketball under Chris Cohan.

Why would this team, of any other in the league, expect to generate interest in youth now after systematically screwing up and chasing off youth for 15 years running? I'm skimming the list of draft picks and I don't see a single one who has been developed, retained, and helped to the next level:

Not Webber, Smith, Jamison, Richardson, Arenas, Murphy, Dunleavy.
Not Pietrus, Foyle, Fuller, Diogu.

Ellis is still on Void-Watch and if he's an idiot with a limited game, why do we have him forever at infinity dollars? Biedrins has had his minutes dicked around all year and plays for a guy who makes him the only Warrior over 6'6" on the floor routinely while ensuring he has no shot at his contract incentives or an All Star game bench or replacement slot. Randolph, Wright, Belinelli? Please- at least pretend you're past the standard Chardonnay Set We Believe! bullshit and face facts. We don't know anything about these kids' futures with the team, even in the league, at this point. They were all on the table this year according to every single media report from any paper or online source with a take.

There's no cause for hope here if you know your history. The most likely scenario puts Biedrins, Wright, Ellis, Randolph, Belinelli, whoever it takes, in a package for some hack loser like Stoudemire for one year after the Warriors sign some other Win Now Band Aid like Kidd to try for Nellie's one shot at... wait, 40-year-old Kidd with Jackson, Maggette, Stoudemire, Biedrins still won't beat the Lakers or the Spurs in any kind of series play. Or Portland. Or Boston or Cleveland or Orlando. Or New Orleans if they're keeping it together. Maybe not even retooled Dirky Dallas or Phoenix if Phoenix gets Randolph, Wright, and Ellis, and doesn't have to worry about Stoudemire's lazy ass anymore. Bosh doesn't solve anything, either.

That's right: NOTHING the Spin Room comes up with holds. They've used every conceivable line but refused to do the ONE thing that deserves a fan's true commitment and investment:

Build something real and nurture it.


Nellie Ball is Bullshit
There were a few good reads over the weekend, including some national voices chiming in on Nellie's senility and etc.

"Nellie Ball" (Cleveland Plain Dealer):
http://www.cleveland.com/nba/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/sports/1235901358264660.xml&coll=2

"Nelson's Warriors Leading the League in Taking the Night Off"
(NY Post):
http://www.nypost.com/seven/03012009/sports/moresports/nelsons_warriors_leading_league_in_takin_157451.htm

Articles like this, and the league has been on the case all season, really, despite many of our local beaters avoiding consistent tough talk, remind me that the team's favorite stat through the trade talks was supposedly points-per-game. Look, no one buys the Nelson gimmick any more and it doesn't win legitimate games even WITH a high-functioning point guard these days. 20 points from crappy problem children with no rules or accountability under Nellie is 14 points, max, on a serious winning team. That means trade value on Maggette, Jackson, Crawford is still zero, just like when you first locked the geriatric me-firsters up through menopause and nabbed Crawford in that smooth purge of the last useful trade chip you had, Al "Nelson Sucks" Harrington's almost certain pre-opt-out contract year. We'll see, times are tough. Al is no prize. But three years/$16 million/retirement sounds better than one year/$9ish million/have to work to get paid ever again. To me, anyway.

What do I know about fat lazy bastards?


And another thing.....
The Warriors' 9th-best in-conference record last year says:
Quit bitching about conference imbalance unless you made the playoffs. Everyone got the easy wins in the West last year. We failed to get the legitimate wins AGAINST the West and failed to do so in precise accordance with our non-playoff position. Our lottery position as the best non-playoff team in the league tanked us into Anthony Randolph. Had we made the playoffs, we would have dropped to the 20th pick. We would have Alexis Ajinca.

We were the 9th best Western team and conference imbalance is a loser's lament. This year the conference fucking sucks and we're nowhere to be found. Its systemic, not endemic:

Our fault, not someone else's.

But in Chris Cohan's Kingdom, it's ALWAYS someone else's fault.