History 101: Warriors Playoff Coaching Records

The Warriors got their asses decisively handed to them last night by the Lakers. The Title Favorite as of the 20% mark just toyed with Keith Smart's "coaching" schemes and made li'l GQ Curry crawl up into the fetal position and cry while Smart carried Nellie's mind game shitty rotation crap out in Nellie's absence, eviscerating Anthony Randolph publicly and unnecessarily by removing him after a minor play that provided the best shot for Smart to "make an example" of the kid and flex like he had a clue or deserved the authority.

This is the current Warriors coaching technique, across the board, and it doesn't work. At all. Give Randolph the free reign currently given the team's worst defender, Stephen Curry, and STFU Warriors. Period. Brandan Wright was ready all last year and got benched for entire second halves after making huge differences in first halves, repeatedly. Then he was our "best player" in camp (like Corey Maggette?), according to Nelson. It might be true, but that's also Nelson's code for "Make me an offer." Randolph subverted Nellie's "Hall of Fame" mind gaming and outed the coach's "motivational" technique, wherein Don Nelson tells a talented young big man to have his agent find a trade to another team for him. In the first month or two of the kid's rookie season. Now the team has Assistant GM Steph Curry talking about patience and practice habits. Nellie inspires the best in people. So with Keith Smart now running CJ Watson and Chris Hunter (Rob Kurz motivational technique returns again!) out more than the young lottery pick, while starting Mikki Moore, the team officially stops trying to cover up what the legitimate NBA world already knew... The Warriors hate Randolph.

The fascinating boat race last night was probably an accurate matchup preview should the Warriors (stifling laughter now)... make the playoffs (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!). Lakers 1 seed, Warriors 8 seed. Or sure, grab those extra wins to get the 2 seed matchup and avoid the Lakers. Definitely. Good plan, fanboys and girls, and you PR rats who LOVE my blog. But seriously, I'm assuming the game was the best attended game all season, or at least the most tickets were sold for a game to date. And yet, Keith Smart had no one ready to do much of anything of consequence against a team not coached by dead men walking (Nate McMillan is fired after Lawrence Frank, if Pritchard really wants to keep up with Presti) or just plain not interested in blowing energy on the Warriors one runrunrun showing per month (Dallas).

The Warriors can say they'll draw Portland, Phoenix, Dallas, or another choice "matchup" for Nellie to "exploit" like a genius. But realistically, Nelson's finest hour as Warriors head coach in the playoffs happened in 2007 and Keith Smart will fold under any legitimate pressure, as we just witnessed, ushering in a fresh round of inexcusable rotations, unnecessary/inconsistent youth censure, and ineffective team defense AND offense.

Don Nelson won his "400th" game with the team last Friday night against Portland. The team has yet to acknowledge it in any way. This sheds strong light on current tensions between Nellie, Robert Rowell, and PR guru Ray Ridder's band of merry hucksters. They never mention the names "Rick Barry" or "Chris Mullin" these days, either. So we can assume they hate Nelson now, with a burning passion that festers worse in Rowell's soul than the non-Rudy Fernandez pick (Nellie: "Marco Belinelli is a star!"). You signed Stephen Jackson, you signed Corey Maggette, you signed Don Nelson. Nelson ain't saying goodbye to $6+ million and even a face-saving "reallocation of resources" puts Nellie back on Maui, collecting that sweet sweet bank. So you freaking lost, Robert Rowell, and you're an idiot when it comes to basketball of consequence. Loser franchise run by loser monkeys?

HELL NO!

INCREDIBLE franchise currently imprisoned by loser monkeys, in fact.

This is headed for a nasty arbitration, at best. Nellie won't show up for staff meetings if he's "front office" intelligentsia. He'll just phone Larry Riley and make the call. The call that brought you Marco Belinelli instead of ANYONE decent and Steph "GQ" Curry, the box office draw (originally) instead of a starting caliber NBA player.

So. Let's say Keith Dumb, as Smart is affectionately referred to around the intranetz these days, takes over under this cloud of Warriors Professional Policy informing Ken Berger's piece on Nellie's imminent PERMANENT departure from the coaching seat (oh, he has swine flu now? Uh huh): http://www.cbssports.com/nba/story/12514475/nelsons-abrasive-style-might-have-him-on-way-out

Last night put any doubts to rest: he's clearly ready for playoff matchups of any sort!

Oh yeah, the Warriors playoff coaching track record:

1. Bill Sharman (67-68) 13-12, .520
2. Al Attles (70-83) 31-30, .508
3. George Senesky (56-58) 10-10, .500
4. Frank McGuire (1962) 6-6, .500
5. Eddy Gottlieb (47-55) 15-17, .469
6. Alex Hannum (64-66) 5-7, .417
7. George Karl (87-88) 4-6, .400
8. Don Nelson (89-10) 14-21, .400
9. George Lee (69-70) 2-4, .333
10. Neil Johnston (60-61) 4-8, .333

The Warriors used to be a proud NBA franchise making the playoffs on a regular basis. And as I documented (no one else did), Nelson winning his 400th game puts the Warriors into an exclusive, four team club in NBA history. http://chriscohansucks.blogspot.com/2009/11/since-no-one-else-is-giving-great.html Only the Lakers, Celtics, and Bucks have two 400-or more team game winners in their all time coaching ranks.

But at the same time, Nelson's 5-6 record in the OUTLIER, FREAK PERSONAL VENDETTA/DIRK DECONSTRUCTION 2007 playoffs bumped his career Warriors playoff work up from 9-15 (.375) to only 8th on the alltime Warriors playoff coaching list. The halcyon days of Run TMC were WORSE in the playoffs than the chuck attack. George Karl had more playoff success than Nelson before the Dallas series, and now the We Believe! team is gone but Nellie's still here collecting checks. The team is officially a complete disaster interpersonally, competitively, and publicly. They're waging war against their fans in the online forums and smearing some of their best talent to push penny-pinching and power-grabbing agendas ahead of winning basketball with a plan for the future.

2007 looks like the last time Don Nelson will coach in the playoffs but he stuck around for the cash after milking that for a cool $17 million or so, right? Good riddance. This money-grubbing, player-killing old man can't win when it counts, anyway.

Keith Smart is not a desirable alternative but he is an "easy mark" for whatever lame-brained idiocy Robert Rowell and Ray Ridder dream up next for the franchise they've killed. He's easily dealt with.

Too bad Sid Moncrief sniffed all of this out and wasn't fairly compensated for building Monta Ellis' jump shot and the rest. Cue the PR rats making fun of him for ... NOT having to put up with the Warriors incompetence.

New Jersey, anyone?