Rowell-in-the-middle with the Epic draft day fist bump to make sure the world knows, "We meant to do that."
Yeah, this guy's totally not a douche bag loser.
Meanwhile, as the owner of the team's new ESPN-supported PR mouthpiece, warriorsworld.net, goes postal in all the other forums, scolding and trolling and fatting, all the while posting he and his monkey Sheed's brilliant reporting on the Amar'e trade that isn't happening like good little team foot soldiers, we take this time to announce and illustrate the inevitable...
The Warriors interns and PR management spent the year saying they won't trade Andris Biedrins and Anthony Randolph while hyping up Ronny Turiaf's hair at starting center. Then we get the already-botched Amar'e Stoudemire bullshit. Two terrible management teams working together can only lead to greatness. The inconsequential ass holes picking sides in that kitten death match have their issues, but Don Nelson hasn't pulled the wool over anyone's eyes since Tractor Traylor weighted under 300 lbs. Get over it. We're fucked and you who have carried Nellie's fat senile jock strap through all of this bullshit (suddenly a VERY quiet bunch as I'm 100% right about everything yet again) L-O-S-T. He's a completely vindictive, manipulative, egotistical, money-grubbing, youth-killing disaster, as predicted via historical analysis.
So, long story short, no deal.
Here's the worst of it: The Warriors are fucking desperate for a big fat useless name like this because ticket sales might tank otherwise. Hence Nellie scrambles to hype Stephen Curry and the team rushes Monta to KNBR to keep the odd purchase coming in until his trade demand is met. Gilbert Arenas and Elton Brand were probably never close to Warriors last offseason but the Warriors sure did publicize those offers after Baron ditched them.
Rowell has nothing to offer a fanbase besides this gimmicky shit, and neither does Nellie. Never mind Cohan at this point. He's silent, he's clueless, he issues the cash directive, period. Rowell will outlive Nellie and is already setting him up for the fall, too.
Holy fucking shit we're screwed with that weasel running amok.
But the briefest review:
Kevin Garnett two years ago? Sure. That was a reality with our penny-pinching ghost owner. And the Richardson salary dump sure was great. Never used the TPE to improve the team (there's that luxury tax handout threat again!) and Fatboy Nelson can't eff with Brandan Wright enough. We wanted Al Thornton, huh? Whoop-dee-freaking-doo. Would we not have Jackson and Maggette then? Yeah, right. Such unbelievable win-now-but-not-really BS. Cohan IS cheap, but on a level that somehow hemorrhages cash at a rate perfectly calibrated to impede meaningful talent acquisition while avoiding consistent winning performance with a bunch of shitwing chuckers and gimmicks that only move the needle for Ray Ridder and the PR Department..
On some level, who cares? We made the right call if Garnett is as fucked up as he seems to be. Those are oooooooollllllldddddddd legs. Richardson is overpaid and Wright is good (he was great when he played last year and Nelson is now clearly screwing with everyone's head with no apparent rational intent), and the team probably wasn't landing a ring-winner with a mere $10 million. So there's the point: Danny Ainge was a fucking idiot and continues to be, Doc Rivers was a jackass coach and continues to be. They were both about to get canned- they deserved to be, anyway- and took the plunge with their pal McHale, now shoveling snow in the Minnesota Summer. It worked for a year. Now they're selling Ray Allen's expiring deal, publicly demolishing a great young point guard, and gearing up to be Paul Pierce and scrubs all over again. Brilliant long term planning.
But of course, those incompetent boobs can pay the luxury tax any time they want. The Warriors don't do that. Won't ever do that. So following the Boston plan is about the last thing this Warriors team would actually do. No no, we're not getting legit HOF stars to win rings with. We shop at Wal-Mart (not that there's anything wrong with that). Jackson and Maggette: look at those pretty numbers! Efficiency! Raw scoring! Technical fouls! Pissed off teammates!
They suck ass.
Here's a trip down Salary Protection memory lane with departed Warriors Beater Janny Hu. Oh, Rowell:
Classic, CLASSIC shit.
Oh yeah, on the Amar'e lies:
Amar'e leaves two years of guaranteed cash on the table if he rushes into an extension now. Now maybe he's not ready to play this year and wants to lock in his cash, so he thinks getting the extra 4 years now is crucial (Garnett. Gilbert. Brand. Baron. Etc.) In that case, all you fucking idiots who want to buy an Amar'e jersey for your fantasy basketball draft party:
Just shut the fuck up.
This is stupid.
He misses out on $40 million if he takes an extension now or he's planing for early retirement.
He's either a rental or a complete fucking waste of time.
Come on now. You do this shit every year. Time to grow up.