Robert Rowell and the Warriors are a dysfunctional nothing.
Totally full of shit.
Golden State of Mind took diligent talk point notes from Rowell the other day, like so many little WMD propaganda machines for the Bush press corps back when it was time to spread Freedom Fries and SUVs for All a few years back. Went well.
As we all know, Robert Rowell and Ray Ridder spend their days coming up with shit to spoon feed the masses and will lie about pretty much anything or, sometimes, tell the truth about just about anything, to make that sweet sweet cash. Whichever they think will move more product. Those morons in Club 200 get a little gladhanding and suddenly ALL IS FORGIVEN. Rowell is so honest, so forthright, so clearly competent the day before season ticket lock-ins are due. I trust him.
My free ticket sources haven't gone to pick up their free shit in over 5 years. It's always useless shit. Even folks in equally shitty seats skip that garbage. Club 200 is just Rowell's genius lock-in of saps and attention whores who don't know the game, don't care about the game, and won't stop paying for the shitty product as long as their butts are powdered a little.
Meanwhile, Baron Davis was apparently in line to make more here than he will for the Clippers, as long as he was willing to skip the donuts and make it through a certain amount of games over 5 years. But he sure showed the Warriors, getting that guaranteed smaller amount to coast his fat, lazy, useless ass off with. Good job, Baron! Then again, why believe Rowell? He'll lie about anything. He probably told Baron to go fuck himself and called up Corey Maggette, since Maggette was an obvious championship pick up for us. High quality. Very shrewd signing. And Azubuike- what a PLAYER! Value. Turiaf will be shooting 3 pointers next year, don't you worry. More incredible C versatility for the Nelson gimmick.
All is well.
The Ticket Sales Talkpoints:
Randolph makes it clear he owes Nelson NOTHING.
Don Nelson gave it the old college try.
Of course he did.
He's got nothing to declare these days but his "genius," nothing to offer the world but his schticks and gimmicks, so he had to run this season as equal parts Machiavellian power play and Hobbesian clusterfuck in the woods, lest the spotlight shine on, you know, a player he couldn't control and expect Christmas cards from.
The impressive list of Nelson-made, talentless shitwings and longterm nobodies during his millenial Warriors tenure: Stephen Jackson, Kelenna Azubuike, Matt Barnes, Mickael Pietrus, Marco Belinelli, CJ Watson, Rob Kurz, Jermareo Davidson, Pat Burke, etc., etc., etc.
Randolph doesn't fit: he's born to succeed in the NBA. Nelson had nothing to offer and no lifelong debt to secure like a subprime mortgage vendor.
Sure, this is a selective list. Why can't Monta be a shitwing nobody?! some Bandwagon Tool will cry out in the dead of night, alone, afraid. Well. About that. Ellis, you see, has actual fucking talent and is some sort of scary genius scorer more often than not. The primary criticism: he may be, clinically speaking, a Grade A moron. The useless criticism: He's not a point guard/doesn't play defense for defensive wizards Don Nelson and his D Coordinator, Keith Smart (Sidney Moncrief got the fuck out of Dodge as soon as Nellie started his drunken staff orgies). Irrelevant. Unfortunately for the weekend warriors hoping to stake their online claim with fantasy basketball prowess and mindless blathering: he IS a 1 guard. He's just not Jason Kidd, Chris Paul, Steve Nash, etc. Talking about "pure point guards" is just code for "we're still fucking with Monta publicly, loudly, constantly. This thing is even uglier now than it was before. We want him to force a trade, actually, since then we get stuff and can continue to demonize our franchise players."
Nelson says Ellis is back but the VOID option is still hanging over his head even as Rowell lies through his teeth to his sucker shitseat fans (like a shitwing, only THEY pay the TEAM)... after leading with a rant about those dirty bloggers and journalists and their facts, sources, and healthy skepticism of a proven failure such as himself and Don Nelson, Chris Mullin included with Larry Riley, Chris Cohan, and Larry Harris.
We're building something special here.
The snarkiest little dick bag club in the history of professional sports is pretty special, right?
Let's make Monta Ellis an unrestricted free agent for this offseason. Seems wise.
Or better yet, let's remind the league we're clueless salary protection dickbags who will move last year's faith-based initiative franchise player the year after inauguration. We're THAT GOOD. Biedrins on the block, too. Who care?! He sucks! No jump shot! Irrelevant!
Other shitwing analysts wonder why Anthony Morrow can't be a Nelson "find" and "build." These online contrarians have no prayer of a relevant basketball thought until the franchise Thought Police give them one to think. Everyone knew the league had missed the moment Morrow hit Summer League. It happens. Courney Lee, it bears mentioning, has beaten Pietrus out and would kill Marco Belinelli in an alley fight. Oh wait, he was drafted. Where am I going with this? No idea. Ronnie Brewer.
Morrow signed for some cash with a Ukraine team but someone who actually follows college ball (not Nelson) brought in the shooters and shitwings he got to choose from and Morrow was simply unstoppable in Summer League play. He was already ready, a 4-year college grad (Georgia Tech) who had essentially perfected his NBA-ready skill besides having the athleticism and the work ethic to make it for any coach with half a brain guiding decisions ahead of his jock strap.
Oh yeah, evidence and shit:
Whatever, call it a revisionist's rant. You're wrong, but whine away, Homer Moron Toolz. Morrow was on the same chopping block as Hendrix. No doubt about it. At one point, Demarcus Nelson was a legitimate keep over Morrow. Maybe Nelson makes it happen with Chicago now but he sure didn't make it happen as our opening night starting point guard and Don Nelson gave up on incorporating him, our best guard defender, into the team's season quite early. Genius talent finder/developer.
Kurz. Kurz. Kurz.
All for the sake of good clean basketball, right?
Whither Louis Amundson?
Whiter Louis Amundson?
Rowell let the cat out of the bag: Kurz was in town to eff with Anthony Randolph in practice. Randolph must have respected Richard Hendrix too much. Hendu can, after all, play NBA power forward (watch his games and follow the league seriously or STFU, I say). Brilliant. We're building trust and accountability in Oakland. Rowell's never wrong. Except about Jason Richardson! Man, screw Brandan Wright!
As you know, Rowell says he doesn't READ blogs because they are full of lies he reads. He misses Jason Richardson desperately and Chris Mullin is on the chopping block because he couldn't get Kevin Garnett or something with that gem of a contract Rowell approved 100% on a good but not $14 million wing like Richardson.
Rowell's talk point maneuvering for his captive, by-definition-sucker, Club 200 audience, establishes that anyone bagging on Wright, in any forum, has an agenda to push for the team or is drinking the Kool Aid. We knew Nelson told a HEALTHY Wright to stay away from the team and now Wright is playing it smart, suddenly he actually had SURGERY at one point! He'll be moved to a better locale and I'm sure he'll be a TOTAL bust. Toronto seems to like our top-10 busts, maybe they'll give us one miserable year from Chris Bosh for Brandan Wright's corpse. Good deal all 'round.
And here lies the point (it's not about Wright):
Viva le Cash Dump!
As it becomes abundantly clear that Anthony Randolph doesn't give a shit about Nelson's ego games, and as he and Morrow "come out" as a united front of can't-be-denied talent and charisma late in the season, there's no way to put the snake back in the box, as it were, or whatever the saying says.
Priceless moment of complete old drunk/team executive evisceration shared by Anthony Morrow, Anthony Randolph, and Jim Barnett (this season has been hardest on him) at the :26 mark:
So next year, regardless of who stays and goes around those two players, we're likely to hear more about tensions and unhappiness as Morrow approaches free agency and a likely Warriors Qualifying Offer screw job like the one they pulled with an unhappy Pietrus, and as Randolph proves he's the future of the team, too, but is left all alone post Ellis/Biedrins dumps and Bosh or Stoudemire or whomever walk-away... and then Randolph will be up for his next deal before you know it and we'll be in the same frivolous Rowell dick-swinging failure game all over again.
History teaches us what to expect from the Cohan Dynasty. Don't be the sucker here.
With such principled, purposeful behavior in our front office, it's only a matter of time before we secure our place as a legitimate, competitive franchise destination for the league's best talent. No more overpaying shitwings like Jackson and Maggette! No more desperate positional drafting like Diogu, O'Bryant, Belinelli (Richardson's replacement- STAR!). We're GOING places!!!!!
Our executives can't handle professional agents. It's as simple as that. We're not playing other teams. Rowell and Nelson are playing against NBA businessmen. Like Mullin before them, they fail. The difference is, they piss everyone off in the process and burn every bridge they traverse.
It's over, folks. Brace yourselves. Everyone's about to be fair game in the Rowell of 09.
We're totally fucked. Lock in those shitty seats for your free tote bags! We can't do it without you(r money)!!!!!!!!!!