More from the Big Insider:
"The Warriors didn’t recently extended Stephen Jackson just to reduce his trade value to 'fire sale' offers... Golden State assistant general manager Larry Riley has already publically stated in today’s edition of the San Francisco Chronicle that the Warriors are not looking to make any major changes to their roster until Golden State gets a chance to finally have everyone healthy and available to play together for the 1st time this season." [sic]
So if Jackson's terrible play and crazyfuckingstupiddisruptive and distracting behavior ("leadership") have you confused about his trade value, take it from The Big Insider:
Everything's Fine.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Hendrix Wins AGAIN. Warriors................ no
Anyone defending the Warriors, Chuck Belinelli, or Captain Suck:
Fuck off, you're idiots.
Richard Hendrix, meanwhile: 11/25/3/3 STL/1 BS, his team beat the crap out of some terrible D League team. He was just screwing around all game. He'll never make it at this rate.
Sure, he got more rebounds all by himself tonight than the ENTIRE WARRIORS TEAM besides Andris Biedrins, but he's clearly useless. Nellie knows talent, after all.
Nellie benched Wright forever after he was obviously the Warriors' best player to start the game. He was making some mistakes and fouling and the initial pull was appropriate given the foul trouble. Belinelli got a lip service 2 foul pull, too, before getting free rein to play like shit with the game on the line later. No such luck for Brandan, who Nellie tore into like Jackson being a nothing shit and Belinelli already being a has-been was his fault or something. Because that's how Nellie rolls. Blame the defenseless, have another Scotch, proclaim the genius, cash the checks.
Warriors Management:
If you have a brain and a pair, it's time to just get this over with. Nellie's done. He doesn't have it. It's all over. You fucked up. Riley doesn't help, Larry Harris doesn't help, Rowell's 5 year contract doesn't help, healthy shitwings don't help.
YOU FUCKED UP. Again. You suck.
Eff you.
Fuck off, you're idiots.
Richard Hendrix, meanwhile: 11/25/3/3 STL/1 BS, his team beat the crap out of some terrible D League team. He was just screwing around all game. He'll never make it at this rate.
Sure, he got more rebounds all by himself tonight than the ENTIRE WARRIORS TEAM besides Andris Biedrins, but he's clearly useless. Nellie knows talent, after all.
Nellie benched Wright forever after he was obviously the Warriors' best player to start the game. He was making some mistakes and fouling and the initial pull was appropriate given the foul trouble. Belinelli got a lip service 2 foul pull, too, before getting free rein to play like shit with the game on the line later. No such luck for Brandan, who Nellie tore into like Jackson being a nothing shit and Belinelli already being a has-been was his fault or something. Because that's how Nellie rolls. Blame the defenseless, have another Scotch, proclaim the genius, cash the checks.
Warriors Management:
If you have a brain and a pair, it's time to just get this over with. Nellie's done. He doesn't have it. It's all over. You fucked up. Riley doesn't help, Larry Harris doesn't help, Rowell's 5 year contract doesn't help, healthy shitwings don't help.
YOU FUCKED UP. Again. You suck.
Eff you.
No Trades
The Warriors are standing pat, folks.
Here's the evidence:
Average Fantasy Trade Fan says
GS sends: Corey Maggette, Brandan Wright, Anthony Randolph, Marcus Williams and 2009 unprotected 1st
Tor sends: Chris Bosh, Hassan Adams and Will Solomon
Retarded longtime season ticket holding "Insider" Company Man trolling the intranetz spreading the Warriors' ACTUAL OFFICIAL POSITION ON PLAYER VALUE says
Golden State isn't just one piece away from title contention. Giving up the bulk of their future for Bosh doesn't make any sense. The risks are too high which is why the Warriors say no.
-and-
Larry Riley is now making the public statements for the team.
He says what Don Nelson tells him to:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/12/30/SP3O1514CN.DTL
Now, getting Bosh with no assurances he'll stick around beyond Spring 2010 is of course retarded and no one should even bother acquiring him for anything valuable in the meantime unless they're in New York, Miami, or Los Angeles. No other market fits the bill, not even Orlando. Take it from me, being tax free is no fun if all you've got is Disney World to blow the extra on. But read between the lines, particularly when stuffed shirts talk about Maggette, Jackson, and Crawford as "20 point scorers" and "top starters," and get the message. There's nothing coming down the pipes.
Case in point, the refusal to give Garnett the fatty extension as part of potential trades with Minnesota and missing out as a result. But they were MORE than ready to "mortgage the future" on that old crazy fucker's last good two years at the time. Another time, they passed on Boozer when he was in the exact same boat as Baron: injured, pissy, and on a fat contract with a few years remaining, and the price tag would have been Murphy and Fisher. They got Baron for less than that, and that PAID off, bigtime. But they passed on Boozer. Could have been Boozer, Baron, Biedrins, Ellis, Richardson, Dunleavy, which is pretty good if Dunleavy isn't getting assreamed by Nelson and Baron's streetball egos, but no. Yet they almost moved WAAAAY too much value for Rasheed Wallace. They're fucking bean counting basketball rubes. Business, what a life.
It's pretty clear the 8th seed is the ceiling for these shit peddlers and as long as you hand them money they don't deserve, expect no changes. So buckle up, sports fans. You're either being lied to again as the team prepares to ship out any glimmer of hope for good or you're screwed because these fucking incompetent boobs think they've got something worthwhile on their hands.
Fucking imbeciles.
Eff you.
Here's the evidence:
Average Fantasy Trade Fan says
GS sends: Corey Maggette, Brandan Wright, Anthony Randolph, Marcus Williams and 2009 unprotected 1st
Tor sends: Chris Bosh, Hassan Adams and Will Solomon
Retarded longtime season ticket holding "Insider" Company Man trolling the intranetz spreading the Warriors' ACTUAL OFFICIAL POSITION ON PLAYER VALUE says
Golden State isn't just one piece away from title contention. Giving up the bulk of their future for Bosh doesn't make any sense. The risks are too high which is why the Warriors say no.
-and-
Larry Riley is now making the public statements for the team.
He says what Don Nelson tells him to:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/12/30/SP3O1514CN.DTL
Now, getting Bosh with no assurances he'll stick around beyond Spring 2010 is of course retarded and no one should even bother acquiring him for anything valuable in the meantime unless they're in New York, Miami, or Los Angeles. No other market fits the bill, not even Orlando. Take it from me, being tax free is no fun if all you've got is Disney World to blow the extra on. But read between the lines, particularly when stuffed shirts talk about Maggette, Jackson, and Crawford as "20 point scorers" and "top starters," and get the message. There's nothing coming down the pipes.
Case in point, the refusal to give Garnett the fatty extension as part of potential trades with Minnesota and missing out as a result. But they were MORE than ready to "mortgage the future" on that old crazy fucker's last good two years at the time. Another time, they passed on Boozer when he was in the exact same boat as Baron: injured, pissy, and on a fat contract with a few years remaining, and the price tag would have been Murphy and Fisher. They got Baron for less than that, and that PAID off, bigtime. But they passed on Boozer. Could have been Boozer, Baron, Biedrins, Ellis, Richardson, Dunleavy, which is pretty good if Dunleavy isn't getting assreamed by Nelson and Baron's streetball egos, but no. Yet they almost moved WAAAAY too much value for Rasheed Wallace. They're fucking bean counting basketball rubes. Business, what a life.
It's pretty clear the 8th seed is the ceiling for these shit peddlers and as long as you hand them money they don't deserve, expect no changes. So buckle up, sports fans. You're either being lied to again as the team prepares to ship out any glimmer of hope for good or you're screwed because these fucking incompetent boobs think they've got something worthwhile on their hands.
Fucking imbeciles.
Eff you.
Andrea Bargnani > Marco Belinelli
And I fucking hate that pussy in Toronto.
The Fairweather Bandwagon tardfucks are adorable.
The Company Men trying to push WarriorSpeak down the throats of average trade fantasy fans are worse.
The Fairweather Bandwagon tardfucks are adorable.
The Company Men trying to push WarriorSpeak down the throats of average trade fantasy fans are worse.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Hendrix Update
*UPDATE:
Don't miss his game TODAY!
Free online: http://www.nba.com/dleague/webcastDleague.html
He shat all over Joey Dorsey in his last game.
Dorsey has NBA talent, size, power, and athleticism. He's dumb and no good on offense, green on NBA defense. Houston plays real Cs and PFs and is a playoff team, even a "contender" according to some adventurous pundits, so Dorsey working on his game underground is a non-starter.
Hendu smoked that ass.
Don't miss his game TODAY!
Free online: http://www.nba.com/dleague/webcastDleague.html
He shat all over Joey Dorsey in his last game.
Dorsey has NBA talent, size, power, and athleticism. He's dumb and no good on offense, green on NBA defense. Houston plays real Cs and PFs and is a playoff team, even a "contender" according to some adventurous pundits, so Dorsey working on his game underground is a non-starter.
Hendu smoked that ass.
Portland Minutes Distribution
I posted the minutes breakdown for the Warriors, technically the league's youngest team, and we saw that Nellie effectively likes to have three 30 year-olds logging the heaviest minutes. Add Ellis to that mix, of course, but nevertheless, Nellie wants 3 idiot vet shitwings all the time and we won't be challenging Portland EVER at this rate- two of those 30 year old dudes are locked up for the next five years. Here are the POR minutes leaders, by age only:
37 (24)
35 (23)
30 (28)
27 (24)
26 (23)
23 (29)
22 (20)
17 (20)
15 (22)
12 (25)
6 (20)
5 (22)
Ike Diogu
They just beat Boston, too, and they did so without Brandon Roy. We beat Boston without Monta Ellis. The Lakers smoked 'em pretty good. Clearly, this Boston juggernaut is going strong after its 1-3 road trip up the West Coast.
Portland is obviously superior to the Warriors in every conceivable way, notably their core starters and All Star talent at multiple positions. We might have one or two All Stars between Ellis, Biedrins, and ___, but not under Nelson. If the young bigs are worthless, no All Stars there. Shitwings on hot streaks are definitely not included in this conversation. Roy will never be beaten for the All Star team by any of the Warriors shitwings, young or old.
So get used to it, sports fans.
We got the Suck and Portland ALREADY plays YOUNGER than us!!!!!
Eff you.
37 (24)
35 (23)
30 (28)
27 (24)
26 (23)
23 (29)
22 (20)
17 (20)
15 (22)
12 (25)
6 (20)
5 (22)
Ike Diogu
They just beat Boston, too, and they did so without Brandon Roy. We beat Boston without Monta Ellis. The Lakers smoked 'em pretty good. Clearly, this Boston juggernaut is going strong after its 1-3 road trip up the West Coast.
Portland is obviously superior to the Warriors in every conceivable way, notably their core starters and All Star talent at multiple positions. We might have one or two All Stars between Ellis, Biedrins, and ___, but not under Nelson. If the young bigs are worthless, no All Stars there. Shitwings on hot streaks are definitely not included in this conversation. Roy will never be beaten for the All Star team by any of the Warriors shitwings, young or old.
So get used to it, sports fans.
We got the Suck and Portland ALREADY plays YOUNGER than us!!!!!
Eff you.
I miss Baron Davis
You fucking idiots.
Dunleavy effectively benched his lazy ass.
Eric Gordon going apeshit in his absence.
*UPDATE: But it sure seems like Baron Davis is a billion times smarter than Robert Rowell, Stephen Jackson, and Chris Cohan, doesn't it? He gets everything he wants, which doesn't include winning or credibility in the league but rather proximity to Hollywood, and the Warriors get to suck worse than ever.
Wonder if Dunleavy is due to be canned soon?
Seems likely they'll ship Camby and Kaman, and I can easily see Wally Szczerbiak or the like in their future. They'll be back on that FA horse in no time! Amare Stoudemire, the presence of your shitty attitude is requested in Los Angeles.
For the record, at halftime:
I predict Baron ends with 20/7/7 and a shot at the win.
Lazy fucker. He'll play 5 hard minutes a night for you when he's got his contract in hand.
*UPDATE: Beno Udrih? Fucking Beno Udrih is smoking that fat clown?!
*UPDATE: Dunleavy "saving" Baron for crunchtime. Guess he won't hit my predicted marks. DAMN!
Dunleavy effectively benched his lazy ass.
Eric Gordon going apeshit in his absence.
*UPDATE: But it sure seems like Baron Davis is a billion times smarter than Robert Rowell, Stephen Jackson, and Chris Cohan, doesn't it? He gets everything he wants, which doesn't include winning or credibility in the league but rather proximity to Hollywood, and the Warriors get to suck worse than ever.
Wonder if Dunleavy is due to be canned soon?
Seems likely they'll ship Camby and Kaman, and I can easily see Wally Szczerbiak or the like in their future. They'll be back on that FA horse in no time! Amare Stoudemire, the presence of your shitty attitude is requested in Los Angeles.
For the record, at halftime:
I predict Baron ends with 20/7/7 and a shot at the win.
Lazy fucker. He'll play 5 hard minutes a night for you when he's got his contract in hand.
*UPDATE: Beno Udrih? Fucking Beno Udrih is smoking that fat clown?!
*UPDATE: Dunleavy "saving" Baron for crunchtime. Guess he won't hit my predicted marks. DAMN!
Jason Terry > Marco Belinelli
Like the opposite would ever even be argued.
This one was just for fun, ya noobs.
Eff you.
This one was just for fun, ya noobs.
Eff you.
Nelson and Quirky Offense-Only Players
Billy Owens 93-94
35 MPG, 15/8/4 AST, etc.
5 Warriors averaged 3.5 APG or more that year, 4 averaged 4+, 2 averaged 5 in the absence of Tim Hardaway. Easily his best year as a pro. Total outlier. Fans thought he was a key difference maker.
Look into the team assists trend a bit, by the way. Nellie finds a band of small ballers who rack up assists in a high octane shitball offense everywhere he goes.
Sarunas Marciulionis 91-92
29.4 MPG, 19/3/3.4 AST, 1.6 STL, etc.
Easily his best year as a pro. Total outlier. Fans thought he was a key difference maker.
Terry Teagle 89-90
29 MPG, 16/4.5/1.5 AST, .480, .830 FT, 49 starts, 82 games, etc.
Easily his best year as a pro. Total outlier. Fans thought he was a key difference maker.
Stephen Jackson 07-08
39 MPG, 20/4.4/4.1 AST, 1.3 STL, peak 3 PT/FT % and ATT, etc.
Easily his best year as a pro unless you buy the shit about his SAS value. They let him walk and it seemed to only make them better. Total outlier in terms of focus and consistency.... until the second half, anyway. Fans continue to think he's a key difference maker. Massive, idiotic extension handed to him upon his obvious career year and now he's nothing but a liability in every conceivable way. Especially mental.
Anthony Mason 95-96
42.2 MPG, 14.6/9.3/4.4 AST, .563, 82 starts, etc.
Easily his best year as a pro. Not a TOTAL outlier, but close. Fans (and Chicago) thought he was a key difference maker. Mason may have defended once or twice.
Erick Strickland 99-00
30 MPG, 13/4.8/3.1, peakish 3 PT/FT, 1.5 STL, 67 starts, etc.
Easily his best year as a pro. Total outlier. Tolbert/Barnes carousel immediately thereafter.
It's the Nellie special, suckerz. We could go on but why? You love your denial and my genius only stokes the depths of your idiocy and stubborn reactionary whining.
35 MPG, 15/8/4 AST, etc.
5 Warriors averaged 3.5 APG or more that year, 4 averaged 4+, 2 averaged 5 in the absence of Tim Hardaway. Easily his best year as a pro. Total outlier. Fans thought he was a key difference maker.
Look into the team assists trend a bit, by the way. Nellie finds a band of small ballers who rack up assists in a high octane shitball offense everywhere he goes.
Sarunas Marciulionis 91-92
29.4 MPG, 19/3/3.4 AST, 1.6 STL, etc.
Easily his best year as a pro. Total outlier. Fans thought he was a key difference maker.
Terry Teagle 89-90
29 MPG, 16/4.5/1.5 AST, .480, .830 FT, 49 starts, 82 games, etc.
Easily his best year as a pro. Total outlier. Fans thought he was a key difference maker.
Stephen Jackson 07-08
39 MPG, 20/4.4/4.1 AST, 1.3 STL, peak 3 PT/FT % and ATT, etc.
Easily his best year as a pro unless you buy the shit about his SAS value. They let him walk and it seemed to only make them better. Total outlier in terms of focus and consistency.... until the second half, anyway. Fans continue to think he's a key difference maker. Massive, idiotic extension handed to him upon his obvious career year and now he's nothing but a liability in every conceivable way. Especially mental.
Anthony Mason 95-96
42.2 MPG, 14.6/9.3/4.4 AST, .563, 82 starts, etc.
Easily his best year as a pro. Not a TOTAL outlier, but close. Fans (and Chicago) thought he was a key difference maker. Mason may have defended once or twice.
Erick Strickland 99-00
30 MPG, 13/4.8/3.1, peakish 3 PT/FT, 1.5 STL, 67 starts, etc.
Easily his best year as a pro. Total outlier. Tolbert/Barnes carousel immediately thereafter.
It's the Nellie special, suckerz. We could go on but why? You love your denial and my genius only stokes the depths of your idiocy and stubborn reactionary whining.
Jackson > Rowell
Baron Davis is 100% bullshit but moron fans with VEEEEEERRY selective memories and Robert Rowell, gimp, are letting Stephen Jackson play insane team spokesman and suggest that we effed up in letting Baron walk.
So Jackson beat the shit out of Rowell.
Nice job, Cap'n Suck.
We're totally NOT the laughing stock of the league.
Robert Rowell, making dreams come true.
So Jackson beat the shit out of Rowell.
Nice job, Cap'n Suck.
We're totally NOT the laughing stock of the league.
Robert Rowell, making dreams come true.
Stephen Jackson Lies Publicly (AGAIN) & Robert Rowell is the league's most popular genius junior executive!
You motherfucking idiot:
http://www.latimes.com/sports/basketball/nba/clippers/la-sp-clipperfyi30-2008dec30,0,5823572.story
Nod to Mr. Mully on the Fast Break blog for distributing the latest installment of the ESPN/national ridicule:
Sharad (Plainsboro, NJ): Why don’t the Warriors and Clippers do a straight up swap for Ellis and Baron? I think it would be perfect for both teams
Chad Ford: (1:24 PM ET ) Sure … except Ellis is a base year player which makes him very difficult to trade. But gotta love a swap between the two most dysfunctional franchises in the NBA. … though if you have to rank them, the Warriors are about 10 times more dysfunctional then the Clippers. They are a reality TV show waiting to happen. It’s a joke. Gotta thank Robert Rowell. He’s given writers that gift that keeps on giving all year long.
http://www.latimes.com/sports/basketball/nba/clippers/la-sp-clipperfyi30-2008dec30,0,5823572.story
Nod to Mr. Mully on the Fast Break blog for distributing the latest installment of the ESPN/national ridicule:
Sharad (Plainsboro, NJ): Why don’t the Warriors and Clippers do a straight up swap for Ellis and Baron? I think it would be perfect for both teams
Chad Ford: (1:24 PM ET ) Sure … except Ellis is a base year player which makes him very difficult to trade. But gotta love a swap between the two most dysfunctional franchises in the NBA. … though if you have to rank them, the Warriors are about 10 times more dysfunctional then the Clippers. They are a reality TV show waiting to happen. It’s a joke. Gotta thank Robert Rowell. He’s given writers that gift that keeps on giving all year long.
.500 D-FENSE!!!!!
Nelson handed defense over to his nutmunch coaching staff before the Charlotte game December 20th. We're a defensive juggernaut of big wins since the latest Nelson gimmick PR stunt:
W 110-103 @CHA (who had just traded its top scorer away)
L 81-113 @ ORL
L 88-96 @ MIA
W 99-89 vs. BOS !!!!!
L 113-130 @ LAL
W 117-111 vs. TOR
For a grand total average points scored against of...
107. Better than 112, no question. But still good for dead last in the West and ahead of only New York. Awesome. We're on our way!!!!!
W 110-103 @CHA (who had just traded its top scorer away)
L 81-113 @ ORL
L 88-96 @ MIA
W 99-89 vs. BOS !!!!!
L 113-130 @ LAL
W 117-111 vs. TOR
For a grand total average points scored against of...
107. Better than 112, no question. But still good for dead last in the West and ahead of only New York. Awesome. We're on our way!!!!!
December Playing Time & Season PER
We're 5-11 in December with one game left to play before the New Year. That means we went 5-12 in November. But folks seem to be plastering the intranetz with feel good homer moron spunk right now so we'll have to assume they think they're witnessing some form of relevant or legitimate team improvement or hope for the future.
Sure, you keep telling yourselves that, folks.
Things are gonna CHANGE around here!
Oh, by the way, the collective record of the teams we've beaten this month besides the Boston season shifting glorious totally meaningful win the other night: 30-85/.261 Want to include that Boston win? You go right ahead. Combined record: 58-89/.395. Oh, we're on the rise. Someone with time on their hands can have a look at the November work and let us all know about the quality of our opponents then, too. I already did. Meaningless wins, all.
We don't have a single serious victory to talk about yet. Boston lost two in a row in its Come to Jesus West Coast Swing vs. the League's Expectations and we got completely demolished by the Lakers without even a hint of a chance at competing from opening tipoff to closing scrub B Squad anihilation. Then we ran Jackson out for 48 vs. TOR to get him some Captain's brownie points or SOMETHING. We've gotten nowhere, nothing counts but the eternal legacy of Suck. Anyhoo, on to the "evidence" of The Drunk's ongoing senile repetition of previous Gimmicks...
MPG - PER (AGE)
37.5 - 14.04 (30)
35.9 - 16.48 (28)
34.0 - 15.64 (29)
30.1 - 15.00 (22)
29.0 - 21.01 (22)
28.7 - 13.43 (25)
25.7 - 14.31 (24)
20.4 - 12.08 (25)
19.3 - 15.37 (23)
18.0 - 19.41 (21)
13.9 - 15.81 (23)
13.0 - 13.07 (19)
10.8 - 6. 90 (23)
Marcus Williams
Turiaf's stats don't tell the story. This marks a significant Warriors exception in many, many ways. Most of the heavy rotation players make their mark by scoring and, now, racking up easy assists against terrible teams in the new much-hyped "ball share" offense. Why we should be fascinated by a team making two or more passes in a given possession is beyond my ken, but Nellie has roped a legion of fucking idiots in yet again by thrilling them with the grand announcement and arrival of sub-average NBA play. Total genius.
Rebounding, shot-blocking, and anything that doesn't come in a shitwing sandwich is irrelevant to our sterling team concept. But of course, for the 30th year in a row, Nelson has found ways to make 6'5" SFs seem like better rebounding options than ultra-talented 6'9" and up young players. But Turiaf is no brilliant rebounder, so let's find a more controversial, often misleading stat to chat about.
Oh, this will do:
Turiaf is the only Warrior to have a positive +/- in the last 10 games, encompassing all three wins since the OKC/MIL wins. Now we're back to Captain Jack heroics and "gutting" out a quarter of run ball and losing the other three and hoping our big minute oldest players don't puke up easy games against shitty opponents at home. That's what's happening here. Nellie will just ride his idiot average-y shitwing vets into the ground no matter what.
Oh fuck it, Turiaf is the only Warriors to have a positive +/- for the entire SEASON. Jackson's our only 1000 minute player this year and the only worse +/- player circumstantially tied to the score differential as thoroughly as Captian Suck is SECOND place minutes guy, Kelenna Azubuike. Holy shit, we fucking suck and there's no escape. Nellie loves these old already peaked and showing you all they will ever have piece of shit wing scrubs. That's our team, you fucking noobs.
In fairness, Wright's +/-, as long as we care, is better than only Jackson, Watson, Azubuike, and Maggette. Also in fairness, our whole fucking team has a shit +/-. So whatever, this is a dumb thing to worry too much about. But still, Turiaf. So there.
If Nellie having no patience and no new ideas results in the shittiest ball we can possibly play unless we're playing fellow basement shit squads, and even then we play the league's shittiest ball without the luxury of a Memphis youth lineup (Arthur is fucking starting, you jackass rejects), I want to see ALL kids, ALL the time. But this shitwing management- it's the same exact model in the offices!- is far too moronic, stubborn, and petty as it wages constant power struggles for meaningless control over a doomed enterprise, to ever put a decent product on the floor.
So we're fucked and I'm right about everything and all you predictable stooge homer intranetz fans can talk about is how Marco didn't shit his pants against the motherfucking Toronto Raptors. Oy. It never ends.
Happy fucking New Year.
Eff you.
Sure, you keep telling yourselves that, folks.
Things are gonna CHANGE around here!
Oh, by the way, the collective record of the teams we've beaten this month besides the Boston season shifting glorious totally meaningful win the other night: 30-85/.261 Want to include that Boston win? You go right ahead. Combined record: 58-89/.395. Oh, we're on the rise. Someone with time on their hands can have a look at the November work and let us all know about the quality of our opponents then, too. I already did. Meaningless wins, all.
We don't have a single serious victory to talk about yet. Boston lost two in a row in its Come to Jesus West Coast Swing vs. the League's Expectations and we got completely demolished by the Lakers without even a hint of a chance at competing from opening tipoff to closing scrub B Squad anihilation. Then we ran Jackson out for 48 vs. TOR to get him some Captain's brownie points or SOMETHING. We've gotten nowhere, nothing counts but the eternal legacy of Suck. Anyhoo, on to the "evidence" of The Drunk's ongoing senile repetition of previous Gimmicks...
MPG - PER (AGE)
37.5 - 14.04 (30)
35.9 - 16.48 (28)
34.0 - 15.64 (29)
30.1 - 15.00 (22)
29.0 - 21.01 (22)
28.7 - 13.43 (25)
25.7 - 14.31 (24)
20.4 - 12.08 (25)
19.3 - 15.37 (23)
18.0 - 19.41 (21)
13.9 - 15.81 (23)
13.0 - 13.07 (19)
10.8 - 6. 90 (23)
Marcus Williams
Turiaf's stats don't tell the story. This marks a significant Warriors exception in many, many ways. Most of the heavy rotation players make their mark by scoring and, now, racking up easy assists against terrible teams in the new much-hyped "ball share" offense. Why we should be fascinated by a team making two or more passes in a given possession is beyond my ken, but Nellie has roped a legion of fucking idiots in yet again by thrilling them with the grand announcement and arrival of sub-average NBA play. Total genius.
Rebounding, shot-blocking, and anything that doesn't come in a shitwing sandwich is irrelevant to our sterling team concept. But of course, for the 30th year in a row, Nelson has found ways to make 6'5" SFs seem like better rebounding options than ultra-talented 6'9" and up young players. But Turiaf is no brilliant rebounder, so let's find a more controversial, often misleading stat to chat about.
Oh, this will do:
Turiaf is the only Warrior to have a positive +/- in the last 10 games, encompassing all three wins since the OKC/MIL wins. Now we're back to Captain Jack heroics and "gutting" out a quarter of run ball and losing the other three and hoping our big minute oldest players don't puke up easy games against shitty opponents at home. That's what's happening here. Nellie will just ride his idiot average-y shitwing vets into the ground no matter what.
Oh fuck it, Turiaf is the only Warriors to have a positive +/- for the entire SEASON. Jackson's our only 1000 minute player this year and the only worse +/- player circumstantially tied to the score differential as thoroughly as Captian Suck is SECOND place minutes guy, Kelenna Azubuike. Holy shit, we fucking suck and there's no escape. Nellie loves these old already peaked and showing you all they will ever have piece of shit wing scrubs. That's our team, you fucking noobs.
In fairness, Wright's +/-, as long as we care, is better than only Jackson, Watson, Azubuike, and Maggette. Also in fairness, our whole fucking team has a shit +/-. So whatever, this is a dumb thing to worry too much about. But still, Turiaf. So there.
If Nellie having no patience and no new ideas results in the shittiest ball we can possibly play unless we're playing fellow basement shit squads, and even then we play the league's shittiest ball without the luxury of a Memphis youth lineup (Arthur is fucking starting, you jackass rejects), I want to see ALL kids, ALL the time. But this shitwing management- it's the same exact model in the offices!- is far too moronic, stubborn, and petty as it wages constant power struggles for meaningless control over a doomed enterprise, to ever put a decent product on the floor.
So we're fucked and I'm right about everything and all you predictable stooge homer intranetz fans can talk about is how Marco didn't shit his pants against the motherfucking Toronto Raptors. Oy. It never ends.
Happy fucking New Year.
Eff you.
Just wait until you see the playing time breakdown....
Warriors PER rankings (AVG NBA player: 15.00)
Biedrins 20.91 (+) 21.01
Wright 19.45 (-) 19.41 - Yeah, I'll buy defense criticism.
Crawford 16.76 (-) 16.48
Kurz 15.85 (-) 15.81 - Goes up a full 2, then DNPCD.
Maggette 15.68 (-) 15.64
Morrow 15.39 (-) 15.37 - Nellie's a rotational genius.
[Matt Barnes 15.08 - Remember when HE was your meme?]
Belinelli 14.34 (+) 15.00 - Hey! He's AVERAGE today!!! Oy, homerz.
Watson 14.11 (+) 14.31 - More important than Marco. Deal with it.
Jackson 13.57 (+) 14.04 - Absoluteley worthless.
Azubuike 13.21 (+) 13.43 - When he's a key piece.....
Randolph 13.10 (-) 13.07 - We HAD TO WIN! Trade in 5, 4, 3, 2, ...
Turiaf 12.11 (-) 12.08
Nelson 6.92 (-) 6.90
Williams 3.40 (-) 3.38
Biedrins 20.91 (+) 21.01
Wright 19.45 (-) 19.41 - Yeah, I'll buy defense criticism.
Crawford 16.76 (-) 16.48
Kurz 15.85 (-) 15.81 - Goes up a full 2, then DNPCD.
Maggette 15.68 (-) 15.64
Morrow 15.39 (-) 15.37 - Nellie's a rotational genius.
[Matt Barnes 15.08 - Remember when HE was your meme?]
Belinelli 14.34 (+) 15.00 - Hey! He's AVERAGE today!!! Oy, homerz.
Watson 14.11 (+) 14.31 - More important than Marco. Deal with it.
Jackson 13.57 (+) 14.04 - Absoluteley worthless.
Azubuike 13.21 (+) 13.43 - When he's a key piece.....
Randolph 13.10 (-) 13.07 - We HAD TO WIN! Trade in 5, 4, 3, 2, ...
Turiaf 12.11 (-) 12.08
Nelson 6.92 (-) 6.90
Williams 3.40 (-) 3.38
Monday, December 29, 2008
We Win
Book it: Maggette inactive.
*UPDATE: Called it.
Our shit wings ran amok on some terrible defense. Toronto is done. Totally done. There will be no trade to improve Toronto. Bosh is going to ask out. We can't get him.
After our glorious triumph:
Warriors 10-23
Raptors 12-19
It's SO sweet.
Buy those tickets, folks!
So many empty seats right behind the
scorer's table...............................
*UPDATE: Called it.
Our shit wings ran amok on some terrible defense. Toronto is done. Totally done. There will be no trade to improve Toronto. Bosh is going to ask out. We can't get him.
After our glorious triumph:
Warriors 10-23
Raptors 12-19
It's SO sweet.
Buy those tickets, folks!
So many empty seats right behind the
scorer's table...............................
Game Thread: The Trade
Last year, the Warriors had the league's most expensive hot dog, the most Stub Hub discount tickets sold (RABID fanbase!), and a very high sell out percentage.
This year, they're the league's second worst road draw, have only had 2 sellouts, and you can find tickets to any game against any opponent pretty much anywhere and anytime you'd care to. The Warriors already pocketed the oh-so-committed-season-ticket-holders' cash. But the walk up is FAAAAAAAAADING. Revenue by year's end stands a fine chance of total tank. We'll see. Plenty of time to right this ship. Let's activate Monta early!
(Whatever happened to Some Guy? Fucking idiot.)
So for tonight's bloodbath of mediocrity, East meets West small ball bullshit, The Trade reiterated for ye who hath forgot it:
TOR Trades
Jermaine O'Neal
Anthony Parker
2009 1st & 2nd round draft picks
GSW Trades
Corey Maggette
Stephen Jackson
Jamal Crawford
Marco Belinelli
CJ Watson
This year, they're the league's second worst road draw, have only had 2 sellouts, and you can find tickets to any game against any opponent pretty much anywhere and anytime you'd care to. The Warriors already pocketed the oh-so-committed-season-ticket-holders' cash. But the walk up is FAAAAAAAAADING. Revenue by year's end stands a fine chance of total tank. We'll see. Plenty of time to right this ship. Let's activate Monta early!
(Whatever happened to Some Guy? Fucking idiot.)
So for tonight's bloodbath of mediocrity, East meets West small ball bullshit, The Trade reiterated for ye who hath forgot it:
TOR Trades
Jermaine O'Neal
Anthony Parker
2009 1st & 2nd round draft picks
GSW Trades
Corey Maggette
Stephen Jackson
Jamal Crawford
Marco Belinelli
CJ Watson
Hollinger hates on us so bad. What a hating hater of hatredness. I hate fucking haterz.
Warriors PER rankings (AVG NBA player: 15.00)
Biedrins 20.86 (+) 20.91
Wright 19.45 (=) 19.45
[Jermaine O'Neal 16.77]
Crawford 16.39 (+) 16.76 - Cheapest/best/shortest term. Problem.
[Baron Davis 16.74]
[Rudy Fernandez 16.69]
[Jason Richardson 16.43]
Kurz 13.80 (+) 15.85 - ALL STAR!!!!!
Maggette 15.71 (-) 15.68
Morrow 15.59 (-) 15.39
[Troy Murphy 14.70]
[Mickael Pietrus 14.35]
Belinelli 14.32 (+) 14.34
Watson 13.74 (+) 14.11
Jackson 13.89 (-) 13.57 - Shithead.
Azubuike 13.19 (+) 13.21
Randolph 13.44 (-) 13.10
Turiaf 12.62 (-) 12.11
Nelson 6.67 (+) 6.92
Williams 3.41 (-) 3.40
Biedrins 20.86 (+) 20.91
Wright 19.45 (=) 19.45
[Jermaine O'Neal 16.77]
Crawford 16.39 (+) 16.76 - Cheapest/best/shortest term. Problem.
[Baron Davis 16.74]
[Rudy Fernandez 16.69]
[Jason Richardson 16.43]
Kurz 13.80 (+) 15.85 - ALL STAR!!!!!
Maggette 15.71 (-) 15.68
Morrow 15.59 (-) 15.39
[Troy Murphy 14.70]
[Mickael Pietrus 14.35]
Belinelli 14.32 (+) 14.34
Watson 13.74 (+) 14.11
Jackson 13.89 (-) 13.57 - Shithead.
Azubuike 13.19 (+) 13.21
Randolph 13.44 (-) 13.10
Turiaf 12.62 (-) 12.11
Nelson 6.67 (+) 6.92
Williams 3.41 (-) 3.40
Bitches and Shit
Marco Belinelli is a bitch.
He whines to the Italian press and it magically sparks the team to play him for trade value.
So don't tell me those worthless nerd anal retentive idiots in the Warriors offices aren't reading my glowing nuggets on an hourly basis. They hit refresh more than the OLFs who jump from fan forum to fan forum hoping no one remembers the retarded things they said the day before. No ballz, all attention-seeking and self-aggrandizing "pot stirring." The truth is, they're just stupid lonely fucks whose grandkids started ignoring them years ago. I bring it. They wear Depends and take heart medications. That's the difference. Rowell can't piss in public restrooms.
Brandan Wright is a badass motherfucker.
He says nothing, gets shit on by the Old Drunk, gets shit on by the OLFs and the JV high school basketball experts, and continues to kick ass whenever he plays even if he's not a post monster. It's like Randolph, who is our second best rebounder behind Biedrins even though he never fucking plays because he's an idiot kid and we want to trade him instead of try to develop him at all. Wright and Randolph together with Biedrins was so obviously a superior lineup. It's not even worth talking about it. They were fucking awesome for that 2 minute stretch. We don't give a fuck about defense anyway. Marco doesn't play any, he just hits some easy shots against shit and/or insouciant opponents. Wright and Randolph and Biedrins are no great defenders, but they fucking rebound. And Wright does more. He's a smart fucking basketball player who makes the pass early, can hit the midrange shot fine when he's supposed to, and does everything a team needs SOMEONE to fucking do.
But not fucking Nellie.
See, D'Antoni made Shawn Marion a player who mattered. Marion's 3-ball was just OK and I won't lie, D'Antoni liked having it. But Marion was no offensive genius. Marion is a world class multi-position defender, and Wright is not that right now. He can be. But the Warriors won't be the team to make him one at this rate. Wright is not a genius rebounder like Marion was in the D'Antoni system. Mostly because Nelson preaches rebounding even LESS than D'Antoni! Wright's length and hops and feel and talent (the latter two are his obvious assets, and no one on the team has more natural feel for the game than him. Try me on this one, you fucking noobs) make him a high end candidate for excellent long term play.
And last night, your forward and your shittwing lazyass ego case did the following:
Wright: 31 minutes, 4-10, 6-8 FT, 14/4/4/2 BS, 0 TO, 2 PF
Belinelli: 29 minutes, 5-11, 2-2 FT, 14/2/2/1 STL, 1 TO, 3 PF
I'll take the high upside forward with the floor game and you can have the dime a dozen dribble dribble shitwing who is NOT a passer, you fucking schmucks. He's a fucking keep the ball until the options dry up moron retard idiot, just like Jackson, and the coaching staff is so goddam fried and drunk, they can only motivate one half of OK team passing every 4-5 games. Jackson and Belinelli are classic shitwing NBA me first assholes who play team ball now and then and sucker idiots but, ultimately, will revert to absolutely unwatchable shit ball more often than not. In fact, that's their career mode. Worthless hacks, not worth any investment or future projections.
It's a shit tank team.
Wright is the bright spot future piece.
Marco is the sucker's bet you all fall for every goddam time.
Get a clue.
He whines to the Italian press and it magically sparks the team to play him for trade value.
So don't tell me those worthless nerd anal retentive idiots in the Warriors offices aren't reading my glowing nuggets on an hourly basis. They hit refresh more than the OLFs who jump from fan forum to fan forum hoping no one remembers the retarded things they said the day before. No ballz, all attention-seeking and self-aggrandizing "pot stirring." The truth is, they're just stupid lonely fucks whose grandkids started ignoring them years ago. I bring it. They wear Depends and take heart medications. That's the difference. Rowell can't piss in public restrooms.
Brandan Wright is a badass motherfucker.
He says nothing, gets shit on by the Old Drunk, gets shit on by the OLFs and the JV high school basketball experts, and continues to kick ass whenever he plays even if he's not a post monster. It's like Randolph, who is our second best rebounder behind Biedrins even though he never fucking plays because he's an idiot kid and we want to trade him instead of try to develop him at all. Wright and Randolph together with Biedrins was so obviously a superior lineup. It's not even worth talking about it. They were fucking awesome for that 2 minute stretch. We don't give a fuck about defense anyway. Marco doesn't play any, he just hits some easy shots against shit and/or insouciant opponents. Wright and Randolph and Biedrins are no great defenders, but they fucking rebound. And Wright does more. He's a smart fucking basketball player who makes the pass early, can hit the midrange shot fine when he's supposed to, and does everything a team needs SOMEONE to fucking do.
But not fucking Nellie.
See, D'Antoni made Shawn Marion a player who mattered. Marion's 3-ball was just OK and I won't lie, D'Antoni liked having it. But Marion was no offensive genius. Marion is a world class multi-position defender, and Wright is not that right now. He can be. But the Warriors won't be the team to make him one at this rate. Wright is not a genius rebounder like Marion was in the D'Antoni system. Mostly because Nelson preaches rebounding even LESS than D'Antoni! Wright's length and hops and feel and talent (the latter two are his obvious assets, and no one on the team has more natural feel for the game than him. Try me on this one, you fucking noobs) make him a high end candidate for excellent long term play.
And last night, your forward and your shittwing lazyass ego case did the following:
Wright: 31 minutes, 4-10, 6-8 FT, 14/4/4/2 BS, 0 TO, 2 PF
Belinelli: 29 minutes, 5-11, 2-2 FT, 14/2/2/1 STL, 1 TO, 3 PF
I'll take the high upside forward with the floor game and you can have the dime a dozen dribble dribble shitwing who is NOT a passer, you fucking schmucks. He's a fucking keep the ball until the options dry up moron retard idiot, just like Jackson, and the coaching staff is so goddam fried and drunk, they can only motivate one half of OK team passing every 4-5 games. Jackson and Belinelli are classic shitwing NBA me first assholes who play team ball now and then and sucker idiots but, ultimately, will revert to absolutely unwatchable shit ball more often than not. In fact, that's their career mode. Worthless hacks, not worth any investment or future projections.
It's a shit tank team.
Wright is the bright spot future piece.
Marco is the sucker's bet you all fall for every goddam time.
Get a clue.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
TANK ALERT! Baron Returning to the Warriors!
Our scintillating, 100% legitimate and worthy of your time, energy, and hard-earned cash (in this wintry economic climate) win against the Champs and Patty Cakes OB has opened the door to the Los Angeles Clippers. The Clippers magically stay ahead of us in the standings AND draft order for now, meaning they can have Jrue with Gordon and REALLY make the Baron Davis signing retarded.
We get Stephen Curry. Yes!!!!!
Tank on.
Nellie's a genius, and whatever this week's spin is from Ridder and whatever the Old Lonely Farts online spit up with their Metamucil between now and New Year's.
Oh yeah, and someone send Marcus Thompson a link to the trade machine so he can mess around a bit on this: http://www.insidebayarea.com/sports/ci_11327156
Stephen Jackson sure is tight with Rowell.
This is such a dead motherfucker.
We get Stephen Curry. Yes!!!!!
Tank on.
Nellie's a genius, and whatever this week's spin is from Ridder and whatever the Old Lonely Farts online spit up with their Metamucil between now and New Year's.
Oh yeah, and someone send Marcus Thompson a link to the trade machine so he can mess around a bit on this: http://www.insidebayarea.com/sports/ci_11327156
Stephen Jackson sure is tight with Rowell.
This is such a dead motherfucker.
Player of the Game: Richard Hendrix
This blog was started upon the news of the Hendrix cash cut.
It's not even about the potential and the Warriors' unwillingness to invest in it. It's just about the move itself being the same old shit we always get from these fucktard owners and we all know the best they've ever gotten from 15 years of panty-twisting and cash moves is one (1) luckyass 8 seed and one (1) luckyass matchup.
Followed by a complete ass kicking and a team dismantling to pocket some more cash.
So to all of you who refuse to get it: Fuck you.
http://www.nba.com/dleague/games/boxscore.jsp?gameId=2020800094
It's not even about the potential and the Warriors' unwillingness to invest in it. It's just about the move itself being the same old shit we always get from these fucktard owners and we all know the best they've ever gotten from 15 years of panty-twisting and cash moves is one (1) luckyass 8 seed and one (1) luckyass matchup.
Followed by a complete ass kicking and a team dismantling to pocket some more cash.
So to all of you who refuse to get it: Fuck you.
http://www.nba.com/dleague/games/boxscore.jsp?gameId=2020800094
Stephen Jackson is Back!
-This defense is really something...
-Sasha Vujacic > Marco Belinelli
-Wow. We play some ugly fucking basketball.
-We're a bullshit team. Now and then we catch a team napping. We could pull this out. The Lakers are whiny lameass bitches like BOS.
-Beans+Turiaf on the scene.
-Total bullshit.
-Stay down, Fisher. Stay down.
-Buike bricks.
-Marco. What a game changer.
-Ronny we keep.
-Sasha drinks Marco's milkshake. You fucking idiots.
-Lakers don't give a fuck about the Nellie surrender.
-I'm so excited to watch DeMarcus Nelson and Rob Kurz develop instead of Richard Hendrix. Idiots.
-Hey you stupid fuckers, POB keepin it up! 6:40, 5/4/3 BS
-Morrow's shot so much better than Chuck's.
-Rob Kurz has a band-aid on his chin.
Nellie's taint stubble could not be reached for comment.
-Randolph with a move you'll see on the TV.
-Josh Powell > Rob Kurz. Holy fuck you numbnutz.
-Rob Kurz vs. Josh Powell jumpball. Yes.
-This whole league is going to hate Randolph. A lot.
-130 points. Oh yeah, we're fucking great. Blow me, Shitz and co.
-Sasha Vujacic > Marco Belinelli
-Wow. We play some ugly fucking basketball.
-We're a bullshit team. Now and then we catch a team napping. We could pull this out. The Lakers are whiny lameass bitches like BOS.
-Beans+Turiaf on the scene.
-Total bullshit.
-Stay down, Fisher. Stay down.
-Buike bricks.
-Marco. What a game changer.
-Ronny we keep.
-Sasha drinks Marco's milkshake. You fucking idiots.
-Lakers don't give a fuck about the Nellie surrender.
-I'm so excited to watch DeMarcus Nelson and Rob Kurz develop instead of Richard Hendrix. Idiots.
-Hey you stupid fuckers, POB keepin it up! 6:40, 5/4/3 BS
-Morrow's shot so much better than Chuck's.
-Rob Kurz has a band-aid on his chin.
Nellie's taint stubble could not be reached for comment.
-Randolph with a move you'll see on the TV.
-Josh Powell > Rob Kurz. Holy fuck you numbnutz.
-Rob Kurz vs. Josh Powell jumpball. Yes.
-This whole league is going to hate Randolph. A lot.
-130 points. Oh yeah, we're fucking great. Blow me, Shitz and co.
Inside the numbers: We Got Mediocrity
Jackson and Belinelli, your heroes, had a sterling .73 A/TO ratio Friday night.
The updated PERs, which mean nothing at all of course on a weekend like this. Some idiot will come out of the woodwork to lob lameass "I played JV basketball" bullshit at "stat geeks" and pussies he kicked the shit out of at continuation school or something. Idiot:
Warriors PER rankings (AVG NBA player: 15.00)
Biedrins 21.15 (-) 20.86 - He totally sucks.
Wright 19.16 (+) 19.45 - Him, too.
[Nate Robinson 19.02]
[Jermaine O'Neal 16.77]
[Rudy Fernandez 16.69]
[Jason Richardson 16.44]
Crawford 16.37 (+) 16.39
Maggette 15.70 (+) 15.71
Morrow 15.93 (-) 15.59
[Troy Murphy 14.41]
[Mickael Pietrus 14.35]
[Joakim Noah 14.34]
[Kevin Love 14.32]
Belinelli 14.56 (-) 14.32
Jackson 13.55 (+) 13.89 - 46 fucking minutes!!!!!
Kurz 13.78 (+) 13.80
Watson 13.99 (-) 13.74
Randolph 13.67 (-) 13.44 - BUST!
Azubuike 13.07 (+) 13.19
Turiaf 12.04 (+) 12.62 - What's that? You say he's good?
Nelson 6.66 (+) 6.67 - I say he stays at 6.66 unless he plays. Done.
Williams 3.41 (no change) - Hollinger's a genius.
The updated PERs, which mean nothing at all of course on a weekend like this. Some idiot will come out of the woodwork to lob lameass "I played JV basketball" bullshit at "stat geeks" and pussies he kicked the shit out of at continuation school or something. Idiot:
Warriors PER rankings (AVG NBA player: 15.00)
Biedrins 21.15 (-) 20.86 - He totally sucks.
Wright 19.16 (+) 19.45 - Him, too.
[Nate Robinson 19.02]
[Jermaine O'Neal 16.77]
[Rudy Fernandez 16.69]
[Jason Richardson 16.44]
Crawford 16.37 (+) 16.39
Maggette 15.70 (+) 15.71
Morrow 15.93 (-) 15.59
[Troy Murphy 14.41]
[Mickael Pietrus 14.35]
[Joakim Noah 14.34]
[Kevin Love 14.32]
Belinelli 14.56 (-) 14.32
Jackson 13.55 (+) 13.89 - 46 fucking minutes!!!!!
Kurz 13.78 (+) 13.80
Watson 13.99 (-) 13.74
Randolph 13.67 (-) 13.44 - BUST!
Azubuike 13.07 (+) 13.19
Turiaf 12.04 (+) 12.62 - What's that? You say he's good?
Nelson 6.66 (+) 6.67 - I say he stays at 6.66 unless he plays. Done.
Williams 3.41 (no change) - Hollinger's a genius.
Jackson played 46 minutes last night
He was ass most of the game, like the whole team was, until Rivers conceded and played the B List small ballerz who NEVER play together like that or for anything other than totally meaningless garbage time (like a Friday night Warriors home game), and then Boston quit in the second half and decided to bitch, moan, and set hard picks for idiot fans to whine about incessantly instead of noticing the classic telltale signs that Nellie just bought another week of being a fucking drunken senile mind-fucking idiot.
Oh, the lineup evidence on Boston's role player reserves, from Geoff Lepper: 41-23 in a 15 minute run. http://48minutes.net/2008/12/27/thoughts-on-game-31-warriors-99-celtics-89-return-of-the-jack/
That's the entire game, right there. We won 15 minutes against a B-List/Dead Celtics team not trying at all. Thanks, Doc! We technically won 2 quarters against them, the second half, but really it was just 15 minutes. Seven game series, we lose 4-1. At best. Probably a clean sweep for Boston. But oh hot damn, we were awesome!
Have some fucking pride, fans, and don't suck the gimmick cock as hard as the out-of-nowhere idiots who spammed the weekend message boards with terrible basketball analysis after they checked in on news of the Warriors not being a Boston enema tube did.
Props to Belinelli for learning another way to not play real basketball.
And for immediately running his retarded hack mouth off about it in Italian newspapers.
Jackson was all over his nutsack this morning.
Jackson now all about Marco. Totally saw it in him. Led him to greatness. Knows he's destined to be the Man. Jackson is ready to be Marco's backup and support him in his All Star quest.
The Homerz Lap it Up.
Oh, the lineup evidence on Boston's role player reserves, from Geoff Lepper: 41-23 in a 15 minute run. http://48minutes.net/2008/12/27/thoughts-on-game-31-warriors-99-celtics-89-return-of-the-jack/
That's the entire game, right there. We won 15 minutes against a B-List/Dead Celtics team not trying at all. Thanks, Doc! We technically won 2 quarters against them, the second half, but really it was just 15 minutes. Seven game series, we lose 4-1. At best. Probably a clean sweep for Boston. But oh hot damn, we were awesome!
Have some fucking pride, fans, and don't suck the gimmick cock as hard as the out-of-nowhere idiots who spammed the weekend message boards with terrible basketball analysis after they checked in on news of the Warriors not being a Boston enema tube did.
Props to Belinelli for learning another way to not play real basketball.
And for immediately running his retarded hack mouth off about it in Italian newspapers.
Jackson was all over his nutsack this morning.
Jackson now all about Marco. Totally saw it in him. Led him to greatness. Knows he's destined to be the Man. Jackson is ready to be Marco's backup and support him in his All Star quest.
The Homerz Lap it Up.
Amare:Suns::Jackson:Warriors
Both issued heartfelt statements of team loyalty today.
I'm touched, how about you?
In other news, our "best" players only seem to "perform" when they're about to lose money or playing time. Not Ellis and Biedrins, not Wright, etc.
Just Jackson, Belinelli, Baron, .................................
Homer Tool Specialz, all.
I'm touched, how about you?
In other news, our "best" players only seem to "perform" when they're about to lose money or playing time. Not Ellis and Biedrins, not Wright, etc.
Just Jackson, Belinelli, Baron, .................................
Homer Tool Specialz, all.
This Just In: Jackson Clarifies his Douche
Jackson yet again lying and covering up previous It Ain't Me Bullshit and previous lies. What a fucking douchenozzle. He's not demanding he be traded. He just wants to get the fuck out since the team isn't winning. But It Ain't Him. Glad to have it all cleared up:
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3796051
Feel free to believe again.
This fucking retard team and its fucking retard Chardonnay set casual moron fans.
We get another one of those pointless December wins against a contender type with LOADS of issues and qualifications on the night and, suddenly, the whole PR juggernaut hops on board for frantic, desperate damage control spotlight manipulation. GREAT TIMING. Now if we can only kick the shit out of the Lakers tonight, it will all not ring 150% hollow and opportunistic Ridder Cockjobbish.
EVERYTHING IS OK.
KEEP SPENDING MONEY ON THIS SLOP.
Go shopping, even.
I'm always right about this shit.
But lap it up, weekend Warriors (fans).
You're part of the problem. The Warriors said so.
When Jackson was losing every game for us, it was the youth.
Now it's the fans again. Or is it Nellie? Really, the constant finger pointing, underdog fighting back, overcoming of Impossible odds, personality flashing, image restoration, image reinvention... all of that is really good longterm team building and seriously competitive NBA work. Really quality. Great Time Out, etc.
PS, Jackson milking Bucher for PR releases sure does help his fan image trade value. We can only hope...
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3796051
Feel free to believe again.
This fucking retard team and its fucking retard Chardonnay set casual moron fans.
We get another one of those pointless December wins against a contender type with LOADS of issues and qualifications on the night and, suddenly, the whole PR juggernaut hops on board for frantic, desperate damage control spotlight manipulation. GREAT TIMING. Now if we can only kick the shit out of the Lakers tonight, it will all not ring 150% hollow and opportunistic Ridder Cockjobbish.
EVERYTHING IS OK.
KEEP SPENDING MONEY ON THIS SLOP.
Go shopping, even.
I'm always right about this shit.
But lap it up, weekend Warriors (fans).
You're part of the problem. The Warriors said so.
When Jackson was losing every game for us, it was the youth.
Now it's the fans again. Or is it Nellie? Really, the constant finger pointing, underdog fighting back, overcoming of Impossible odds, personality flashing, image restoration, image reinvention... all of that is really good longterm team building and seriously competitive NBA work. Really quality. Great Time Out, etc.
PS, Jackson milking Bucher for PR releases sure does help his fan image trade value. We can only hope...
Cohan's Win Record & Results From the Nellie Cock Fight Poll
You've probably already seen this if you bother hitting my site at all. The good folks at Warriorsworld have put up a math-y research-y version of this site's intuitive premise:
Chris Cohan is a stupid incompetent motherfucker and any other owner in the world would be better.
Warriorsworld ran the raw numbers showing that every other Warriors owner WAS better. Check it out if you have not: http://www.warriorsworld.net/
Also, Keith Smart was the choice of choice in the poll:
Who Survives Nellie's Cock Fight?
Voters chose Smart, 15-13, over Sidney Moncrief. The correct answer may have well been Nellie himself but that wasn't an option. Moncrief magically surpassed Riley, Silas, Turner, and Harris despite only Harris having a shorter tenure with the team than Sid the Squid. Smart was a Mullin pick. He's dead meat.
It was very nice of the contrarians to defend his good name against Nellie's machinations. Good luck with that unbridled optimism.
Eff You.
Chris Cohan is a stupid incompetent motherfucker and any other owner in the world would be better.
Warriorsworld ran the raw numbers showing that every other Warriors owner WAS better. Check it out if you have not: http://www.warriorsworld.net/
Also, Keith Smart was the choice of choice in the poll:
Who Survives Nellie's Cock Fight?
Voters chose Smart, 15-13, over Sidney Moncrief. The correct answer may have well been Nellie himself but that wasn't an option. Moncrief magically surpassed Riley, Silas, Turner, and Harris despite only Harris having a shorter tenure with the team than Sid the Squid. Smart was a Mullin pick. He's dead meat.
It was very nice of the contrarians to defend his good name against Nellie's machinations. Good luck with that unbridled optimism.
Eff You.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Belief and Retards
According to Elias Sports Bureau, as run by the ESPN Weekend Dime,
Last night is the second time ever that a .900 team has lost to a sub-.300 team 25 or more games into the season. Clearly something for us to bank faith on, just like those November/December wins against San Antonio or the like last year or the easy wins in The Run circa the We Believe! Era (March-April 2007).
Eat me.
Eff You.
Gutless poon fans, you deserve all of the misery coming your way, hack sucker loserz.
Happy fucking New Year.
Last night is the second time ever that a .900 team has lost to a sub-.300 team 25 or more games into the season. Clearly something for us to bank faith on, just like those November/December wins against San Antonio or the like last year or the easy wins in The Run circa the We Believe! Era (March-April 2007).
Eat me.
Eff You.
Gutless poon fans, you deserve all of the misery coming your way, hack sucker loserz.
Happy fucking New Year.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Here they come....
This game will launch the most retarded slew ever of NBA morons spamming all the blogs and forums with homer bullshit and Jackson/Belinelli propaganda. It will be the most excellent round of complete fucking idiocy ever, Bob Shitzgerald will not shut up, and it will not change a fucking thing. Brilliant, brilliant time to get a dead Boston team, a shit ref squad, and some hot shooting.
Perfect storm, I anxiously await the homer moron toolz who will return to their customary ranting through the weekend until we lose by 20 to the Lakers.
No one will dare show up here with even a hint of honesty.
Perfect storm, I anxiously await the homer moron toolz who will return to their customary ranting through the weekend until we lose by 20 to the Lakers.
No one will dare show up here with even a hint of honesty.
Warriors Win!
That ought to sell a few tix.
Believe it. Invest heavily. Warriors are BACK BABY!!!
Stephen Jackson's greatest moment forever.
Revel in it.
Let's see if this is (finally) the end of the Boston bullshit.
Stern got sick of them, fouls all 'round!
I hate those fucking assholes.
Go us!
Believe it. Invest heavily. Warriors are BACK BABY!!!
Stephen Jackson's greatest moment forever.
Revel in it.
Let's see if this is (finally) the end of the Boston bullshit.
Stern got sick of them, fouls all 'round!
I hate those fucking assholes.
Go us!
TANK WATCH: Movement
Minnesota wins.
Sacramento forcing TOR to make the trade?
All we have to do is do our best.
We can move within 1.5 games of the right to take the Oversized Bust, the Undersized Bust, or the Shit Draft Class Hypish Wing Bust.
Sacramento forcing TOR to make the trade?
All we have to do is do our best.
We can move within 1.5 games of the right to take the Oversized Bust, the Undersized Bust, or the Shit Draft Class Hypish Wing Bust.
SPIN UPDATE: Great Young Core!!!
Libelous Slander has uncovered this week's Warriors ticket sales PR campaign. Remember, available tickets on sale sites doesn't mean it's not a sell out. Only officially "available" tickets actually mean Cohan is missing out on revenue. Anyone with news on tonight's official sales figures, feel free to post for fellow Cohan-Watch fans here or elsewhere.
Wednesday's Shitzgerald "missing points from the lineup" take is not going to fly. It's already been shifted to the young core of power and future brilliance. Never mind that we fuck with the youngest and least experienced routinely and Nelson and Jackson are both on record blaming that young core for, well, just about everything that's gone wrong this year.
Last week, I think the Tank was intentional or something?
I lose track of the bullshit. Mostly I stop paying attention and just groove on the aesthetic of doctrinaire crap that is WarriorSpeak.
But apparently Christmas has successfully buried everything Bucher had to say and all is hunky dory again under Cohan's rule. Seriously. We've got a future All Star starting five in Ellis-Belinelli-Randolph-Wright-Biedrins. No lie!
Belinelli is a complete hack nobody, it's true, and Wright and Randolph are the first names Bobby Rowell and Don Nelson throw under the bus when they get their one weekly call from another NBA decision-maker. But keep hope alive! We're the league's youngest team, we're missing tons of points that are totally enough to win more than we have been even when healthy and scoring more than every single other team besides the Lakers this year, and the Tank is On for a guy who won't even be in the draft, an undersized NBA bust in the making, an oversized NBA bust in the making, or some unathletic wingman who would go 17th in last year's draft.
It's a Great Time Out!
We P R O M I S E!
Bobby Rowell could not be reached for comment but Ray Ridder's nutsack released the following talk points:
"You can ALWAYS trust us. We've got this under control. Evil doers and non-party-liners will suffer. Would you like a complimentary plastic tumbler of Sutter's Home Chardonnay?"
Eff You.
Wednesday's Shitzgerald "missing points from the lineup" take is not going to fly. It's already been shifted to the young core of power and future brilliance. Never mind that we fuck with the youngest and least experienced routinely and Nelson and Jackson are both on record blaming that young core for, well, just about everything that's gone wrong this year.
Last week, I think the Tank was intentional or something?
I lose track of the bullshit. Mostly I stop paying attention and just groove on the aesthetic of doctrinaire crap that is WarriorSpeak.
But apparently Christmas has successfully buried everything Bucher had to say and all is hunky dory again under Cohan's rule. Seriously. We've got a future All Star starting five in Ellis-Belinelli-Randolph-Wright-Biedrins. No lie!
Belinelli is a complete hack nobody, it's true, and Wright and Randolph are the first names Bobby Rowell and Don Nelson throw under the bus when they get their one weekly call from another NBA decision-maker. But keep hope alive! We're the league's youngest team, we're missing tons of points that are totally enough to win more than we have been even when healthy and scoring more than every single other team besides the Lakers this year, and the Tank is On for a guy who won't even be in the draft, an undersized NBA bust in the making, an oversized NBA bust in the making, or some unathletic wingman who would go 17th in last year's draft.
It's a Great Time Out!
We P R O M I S E!
Bobby Rowell could not be reached for comment but Ray Ridder's nutsack released the following talk points:
"You can ALWAYS trust us. We've got this under control. Evil doers and non-party-liners will suffer. Would you like a complimentary plastic tumbler of Sutter's Home Chardonnay?"
Eff You.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
SPIN UPDATE: Youth and Service Thereof/by?
Youngest Team: Warriors
Second Youngest: Blazers
Any more brilliant bits of blame game bullshit, NellieShitzRidderRowell?
Eff you. Merry fucking Christmas, assholes.
Second Youngest: Blazers
Any more brilliant bits of blame game bullshit, NellieShitzRidderRowell?
Eff you. Merry fucking Christmas, assholes.
Bob Shitzgerald Propaganda & OH SHIT!!!
OH SHIT!!!!!
Lakers win. We're so fucked tomorrow. Go ahead, start all those great core vets, Nellie. Bob Shitzgerald is convinced all we need are those sweet sweet per game point averages from It Ain't Me and Bad Porn and we're good. But we're totally fucked with Boston coming off a tough loss and no 20 game win streak. Totally fucking fucked. Boston will rise in veteran Championship Brilliance. They are transcendent brilliance personified.
Not a prayer.
On that smarmy little prick Bob:
Bob loves to count up scoring averages and talk about how many points we're missing from the lineup. He only invented/relayed this talk point upon the Nellie implosion/admission of depressive ineffectiveness. Besides Nellie's public surrender, all supposedly important players' general suck whether healthy or stoned, and breaking national news on the front page of ESPN.com of the team's 10th total meltdown in the Cohan era (at least), the Warriors just happened to score under 90 points in back to back games (Orlando & Miami) for the first time in the Nellie Revival Era.
The Warriors score the ball fine under Nelson when they don't take shit shots and when they move the ball. Bobby would have you believe otherwise and talks points points points points points all the time to drive Ray Ridder's cock up your asshole on the matter. Who the fuck cares about points, Shithead?! We scored with Maggette and Jackson and still got our asses handed to us.
Hey Bob, you fucking noob,
THE WARRIORS ARE THE SECOND LEADING SCORING TEAM IN THE NBA, YOU CORPORATE STOOGE TALKPOINT RETARD.
(Merry Xmas, Happy Holidays)
We're 8-22 AND we score more than anyone but the Lakers on the year and all Bobby the Shill can say is that we're missing points from the lineup. This man has nothing to offer you, folks. If you don't already know what he is, figure it out. His only job is to sell tickets and the myth of correctable problems under Chris Cohan's ownership.
He will never give you an honest take because he doesn't have one.
I don't even know that he's worth my time. Probably not.
Lakers win. We're so fucked tomorrow. Go ahead, start all those great core vets, Nellie. Bob Shitzgerald is convinced all we need are those sweet sweet per game point averages from It Ain't Me and Bad Porn and we're good. But we're totally fucked with Boston coming off a tough loss and no 20 game win streak. Totally fucking fucked. Boston will rise in veteran Championship Brilliance. They are transcendent brilliance personified.
Not a prayer.
On that smarmy little prick Bob:
Bob loves to count up scoring averages and talk about how many points we're missing from the lineup. He only invented/relayed this talk point upon the Nellie implosion/admission of depressive ineffectiveness. Besides Nellie's public surrender, all supposedly important players' general suck whether healthy or stoned, and breaking national news on the front page of ESPN.com of the team's 10th total meltdown in the Cohan era (at least), the Warriors just happened to score under 90 points in back to back games (Orlando & Miami) for the first time in the Nellie Revival Era.
The Warriors score the ball fine under Nelson when they don't take shit shots and when they move the ball. Bobby would have you believe otherwise and talks points points points points points all the time to drive Ray Ridder's cock up your asshole on the matter. Who the fuck cares about points, Shithead?! We scored with Maggette and Jackson and still got our asses handed to us.
Hey Bob, you fucking noob,
THE WARRIORS ARE THE SECOND LEADING SCORING TEAM IN THE NBA, YOU CORPORATE STOOGE TALKPOINT RETARD.
(Merry Xmas, Happy Holidays)
We're 8-22 AND we score more than anyone but the Lakers on the year and all Bobby the Shill can say is that we're missing points from the lineup. This man has nothing to offer you, folks. If you don't already know what he is, figure it out. His only job is to sell tickets and the myth of correctable problems under Chris Cohan's ownership.
He will never give you an honest take because he doesn't have one.
I don't even know that he's worth my time. Probably not.
Holiday Leftovers
-Rudy Fernandez:Winning::Marco Belinelli:Styling
-Sergio Rodriguez > Marco Belinelli. Not close.
-Jose Juan Barea > Marco Belinelli. Not close.
-Luke Walton > Marco Belinelli. Not close.
-Matt Bonner on Rob Kurz: "Worthless Nobody"
-If the Lakers successfully end the Boston win streak,
we're going to be completely dismantled tomorrow night.
-Joventut Hierarchy: 1. Bracey Wright 2. Henk Norel 3. Ricky Rubio
-JRich's D FTL. He sucks. Good Riddance.
-JRich > Jackson, Maggette, Azubuike, Crawford, Belinelli,
moronz who complain about Richardson's contract
-Never say Shaq-a-Clause on TV ever again, ABC
In other news, the Warriors continue to blame the fans and their impossible expectations.
-Sergio Rodriguez > Marco Belinelli. Not close.
-Jose Juan Barea > Marco Belinelli. Not close.
-Luke Walton > Marco Belinelli. Not close.
-Matt Bonner on Rob Kurz: "Worthless Nobody"
-If the Lakers successfully end the Boston win streak,
we're going to be completely dismantled tomorrow night.
-Joventut Hierarchy: 1. Bracey Wright 2. Henk Norel 3. Ricky Rubio
-JRich's D FTL. He sucks. Good Riddance.
-JRich > Jackson, Maggette, Azubuike, Crawford, Belinelli,
moronz who complain about Richardson's contract
-Never say Shaq-a-Clause on TV ever again, ABC
In other news, the Warriors continue to blame the fans and their impossible expectations.
JRich on National TV for Xmas
Oh yeah, and he's the best 3 point shooter in the league. Made the most last year, hitting them at the highest percentage this year. Hey Don Nelson, Robert Rowell, etc., I like Brandan Wright a lot. It was good to move Richardson's fatass (stupid) contract. Mullin was stupid to hand all that cash out, or at least he was stupid for letting Rowell let him take credit for it. Or whatever. Rowell the weasel seemed really intent upon taking credit for the last 6 years of Warriors Suck so we'll give him the Richardson deal, too, I guess? But JRich, ball handling non-point guardness and all, is a valuable NBA player. You made him unkeepable for penny-pinching NBA loserz and you constantly screw with the great young talent we got for him. May even trade him for some shitball guard.
So to The Warriors, whoever the hell they are:
F U C K Y O U
Meanwhile, on Merry Xmas Day:
Shitty Warriors PR Department (Rowell and Ridder) working overtime on Shitzgerald's talk points for tomorrow night and having Monta fit for a special Tankle brace.
*BREAKING NEWS! Steinmetz calls bullshit on Some Guy's Ellis call.
But Stephen, Corey, and Jamal magically healthy and ready to go.
We'll kill Boston.
So to The Warriors, whoever the hell they are:
F U C K Y O U
Meanwhile, on Merry Xmas Day:
Shitty Warriors PR Department (Rowell and Ridder) working overtime on Shitzgerald's talk points for tomorrow night and having Monta fit for a special Tankle brace.
*BREAKING NEWS! Steinmetz calls bullshit on Some Guy's Ellis call.
But Stephen, Corey, and Jamal magically healthy and ready to go.
We'll kill Boston.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
SPIN UPDATE: KNBR Spreads Holiday Cheer
In a bold and unexpected move, KNBR made up some lame Happy Memories Everything's OK bullshit for today's afternoon show with Rod "Hack" Brooks leading the anemic corporate stooge charge. Something about presents that need batteries, batteries not being included, and his holiday pleasure being severely disrupted as a result. That was punctuated by four commercial breaks with some repetitive "Let's have some fun, but we don't censor calls, we can still talk about sports!" line that, as of 54 minutes into the broadcast, had resulted in absolutely no talk about sports.
None whatsoever.
The general Christmas spirit of the broadcast suggests that WarriorsRadio instructed its on air personalities to not talk about the Warriors. At all. Besides the Ray Ridder/Bob Shitzgerald lovechild of injury woes and, um, the Milwaukee Bucks? All the while, Rod diligently rattled off a list of as many shitty Bay Area franchises as he could think of, minus the Sharks, in order to downplay that
1. Everyone already stopped giving a fuck about the Raiders
2. The 49ers canned the fucking asshole and are moving forward after it ushered in marked IMPROVEMENT!
3. Bay Area Baseball is not and has never been about winning and everyone knows it, and
4. The Warriors' incredible suck is the news but there's no fix and it's intentional, not established bat shit crazy sea monster senile (Al Davis), cruel and incompetent but willing to admit mistakes (Yorks), under new ownership/management (Giants), run by an actual genius and potentially relocating to a flush market under relatively new ownership interests (A's). It's 15 years of unwavering anti-success under the watch of a complete buffoon NBA mind and his anal retentive bean-counter minions and PR whores. No contest. But KNBR is not allowed to actually talk about it until only non-paying fans are awake and/or listening.
I don't know what Bob was going for from his kitchen yesterday (apparently he got in a little late from Miami after his beautiful call of The End last night, so he phoned it in doubly today), but he never mentioned the words Brandan Wright or Restraining Order. So everything must be OK. Rod Brooks does not read, so I can understand him not mentioning Ric Bucher. But Bob had no choice. He'd be canned if he bothered having a pulse or a relevant insight. Not his fault.
The basic idea from WarriorsRadio is this:
Don't feel bad about wasting your money, in this wintry economic climate, on an unwatchable, uncompetitive steaming pile of monkey shit and "Salary Protection." It's OK, we're just waiting on the recoveries of our core vets, Jackson, Maggette, and Crawford- two of whom are actively seeking trades out of town, but the core is the core!- and this Friday, they will ALL suit up (with Monta Ellis if you believe Some Guy) so the pummeling at the hands of the Boston Juggernaut is THAT much more depressing and exciting!!!
So come on down, it's a great time out!
Eff you!
None whatsoever.
The general Christmas spirit of the broadcast suggests that WarriorsRadio instructed its on air personalities to not talk about the Warriors. At all. Besides the Ray Ridder/Bob Shitzgerald lovechild of injury woes and, um, the Milwaukee Bucks? All the while, Rod diligently rattled off a list of as many shitty Bay Area franchises as he could think of, minus the Sharks, in order to downplay that
1. Everyone already stopped giving a fuck about the Raiders
2. The 49ers canned the fucking asshole and are moving forward after it ushered in marked IMPROVEMENT!
3. Bay Area Baseball is not and has never been about winning and everyone knows it, and
4. The Warriors' incredible suck is the news but there's no fix and it's intentional, not established bat shit crazy sea monster senile (Al Davis), cruel and incompetent but willing to admit mistakes (Yorks), under new ownership/management (Giants), run by an actual genius and potentially relocating to a flush market under relatively new ownership interests (A's). It's 15 years of unwavering anti-success under the watch of a complete buffoon NBA mind and his anal retentive bean-counter minions and PR whores. No contest. But KNBR is not allowed to actually talk about it until only non-paying fans are awake and/or listening.
I don't know what Bob was going for from his kitchen yesterday (apparently he got in a little late from Miami after his beautiful call of The End last night, so he phoned it in doubly today), but he never mentioned the words Brandan Wright or Restraining Order. So everything must be OK. Rod Brooks does not read, so I can understand him not mentioning Ric Bucher. But Bob had no choice. He'd be canned if he bothered having a pulse or a relevant insight. Not his fault.
The basic idea from WarriorsRadio is this:
Don't feel bad about wasting your money, in this wintry economic climate, on an unwatchable, uncompetitive steaming pile of monkey shit and "Salary Protection." It's OK, we're just waiting on the recoveries of our core vets, Jackson, Maggette, and Crawford- two of whom are actively seeking trades out of town, but the core is the core!- and this Friday, they will ALL suit up (with Monta Ellis if you believe Some Guy) so the pummeling at the hands of the Boston Juggernaut is THAT much more depressing and exciting!!!
So come on down, it's a great time out!
Eff you!
On Fan Favorites and Stubborn Morons
I always get these calls right, and I always get them first.
Just in the last year:
Baron
Jackson
Marco
You're all gullible poons.
You'll now defend Marco and yammer about even the most miniscule "accomplishment" just to spite me and protect your worthless NBA ego against further abuse at the hands of Nellie and your Bandwagon Diaper Rash. But I'll be right about this one, too.
Eff you.
Just in the last year:
Baron
Jackson
Marco
You're all gullible poons.
You'll now defend Marco and yammer about even the most miniscule "accomplishment" just to spite me and protect your worthless NBA ego against further abuse at the hands of Nellie and your Bandwagon Diaper Rash. But I'll be right about this one, too.
Eff you.
So you don't like Ronny Turiaf?
I won't bore you with the details but if you don't think Ronny Turiaf is a crucial longterm Warrior leader... you're a fucking idiot. Perhaps you should meet him sometime or witness his work off the court with the younger players and older jackasses.
Inside the Warriors' Ineptitude: Ease of Schedule
Sure, you know the Warriors suck.
But do you know just how much they suck?
I'll compare the first 30 games of this year with all of last year, amounting to a comprehensive study of the highest caliber. No stone left unturned. Extrapolate strong conclusions accordingly. I have: We fucking suck but we weren't exactly hot shit last year, either. Instead of "Best team to miss the playoffs ever," the more accurate title might be "Worst team to win 48 games ever." Someone with a math degree, look into that. I'm sure I'm right.
Last year, the Warriors finished 21-20 on the road and 28-24 (.539) against Western Conference opponents. 8 teams in the West fared better in-conference. Yes, those same exact teams made the playoffs, the Warriors did not. The Warriors got a lot of mileage out of whining about conference imbalance, and their record-padding 20-10 mark against the East (.666?) certainly suggests they knew as well as anyone that Eastern competition made for fine target practice. Only SIX Western teams managed to do the same as or better than the Warriors against the Eastern patsies. But clearly, the Warriors put the work in and deserved a playoff berth.
Now, the winning record on the road is a big deal. That's not a Warriors trend. In fact, they were 12-29 on the road in the We Believe! era (2006-07). That same year, they were 14-16 against the East. Obviously, relying on conference imbalance to hock next year's season tickets is wise practice. Very strong trend to bank faith on. Comcast, print some shirts for that.
The Warriors are currently trolling the NBA gutter having gone 3-14 against Eastern opponents through their first 30 games and doing comparatively well against the West (5-8). Of course, 4 of those 5 Western wins were against powerhouse NW Division opponents either missing key players in the waking hours of the season (Oden, Billups, what have you) or missing NBA credibility outright (Minnesota in OT!, Oklahoma City). That's the only division against which the Warriors have, 1. a winning record, and 2. more than 1 win.
So half the Warriors wins are bullshit right off the bat. Never mind that the other Western teams we played weren't exactly the shit, either. We lost twice to Memphis for gods' sake. Sacramento?! The other teams we've beaten were New Jersey- that WON'T happen again- Charlotte, Milwaukee, and the fucking Clippers. We've got an 8-22 record with a SOS of only .491, 18th in the league and well behind Indiana's INSANE .564 SOS. SOS ain't the greatest stat but it is important that absolutely NO ONE with a weaker SOS has a worse record than us and, in fact, the Wizards have had a really tough run besides the turmoil and injuries.
Whatever, the Warriors just suck. Math not really necessary.
But I needed something to do.
The point is, the usual excuses Bob Shitzgerald and the Homer Bandwagon toolz the Warriors love to exploit with ticket packages and bobblehead madness won't cut it this year. The PR Squad has really got to step up their game to polish this glorious turd. The tank for a Euro Trash point guard who won't be in the draft this year because he fucking sucks due to "injury," the Next Great Bigman Bust, or the #1 pick who will be a poor man's Carlos Boozer but we'll never get our crack at, is retarded. It doesn't matter if you pick 2 or 15 this year, the talent just isn't there to warrant position jockeying.
So whatever it is Nellie thinks he's doing with the rotations and the decision-making, it needs to just stop. We've established that we can be fucking terrible with him dominating every single game and every single young player. Our only excuse is the Monta Ellis injury but Maggette, Jackson, and the D League Five do not help anything and Marco will be shit the moment the ball is permanently taken out of his hands by the 10 better players on the roster. We sucked ass before It Ain't Me and Bad Porn went down, Crawford is one of the streakiest chuckers in the league, and we don't play defense or big men with any sort of intelligence.
We just fucking suck.
So stop attending these shit fests. Show the management you're on to them and, even though we know they're here to rake in dough, it won't be ours until they stop insulting our (my) intelligence. Because we suck more than ever for no good reason and it all originates off the court. That's the worst possible NBA scenario imaginable.
Merry Christmas.
But do you know just how much they suck?
I'll compare the first 30 games of this year with all of last year, amounting to a comprehensive study of the highest caliber. No stone left unturned. Extrapolate strong conclusions accordingly. I have: We fucking suck but we weren't exactly hot shit last year, either. Instead of "Best team to miss the playoffs ever," the more accurate title might be "Worst team to win 48 games ever." Someone with a math degree, look into that. I'm sure I'm right.
Last year, the Warriors finished 21-20 on the road and 28-24 (.539) against Western Conference opponents. 8 teams in the West fared better in-conference. Yes, those same exact teams made the playoffs, the Warriors did not. The Warriors got a lot of mileage out of whining about conference imbalance, and their record-padding 20-10 mark against the East (.666?) certainly suggests they knew as well as anyone that Eastern competition made for fine target practice. Only SIX Western teams managed to do the same as or better than the Warriors against the Eastern patsies. But clearly, the Warriors put the work in and deserved a playoff berth.
Now, the winning record on the road is a big deal. That's not a Warriors trend. In fact, they were 12-29 on the road in the We Believe! era (2006-07). That same year, they were 14-16 against the East. Obviously, relying on conference imbalance to hock next year's season tickets is wise practice. Very strong trend to bank faith on. Comcast, print some shirts for that.
The Warriors are currently trolling the NBA gutter having gone 3-14 against Eastern opponents through their first 30 games and doing comparatively well against the West (5-8). Of course, 4 of those 5 Western wins were against powerhouse NW Division opponents either missing key players in the waking hours of the season (Oden, Billups, what have you) or missing NBA credibility outright (Minnesota in OT!, Oklahoma City). That's the only division against which the Warriors have, 1. a winning record, and 2. more than 1 win.
So half the Warriors wins are bullshit right off the bat. Never mind that the other Western teams we played weren't exactly the shit, either. We lost twice to Memphis for gods' sake. Sacramento?! The other teams we've beaten were New Jersey- that WON'T happen again- Charlotte, Milwaukee, and the fucking Clippers. We've got an 8-22 record with a SOS of only .491, 18th in the league and well behind Indiana's INSANE .564 SOS. SOS ain't the greatest stat but it is important that absolutely NO ONE with a weaker SOS has a worse record than us and, in fact, the Wizards have had a really tough run besides the turmoil and injuries.
Whatever, the Warriors just suck. Math not really necessary.
But I needed something to do.
The point is, the usual excuses Bob Shitzgerald and the Homer Bandwagon toolz the Warriors love to exploit with ticket packages and bobblehead madness won't cut it this year. The PR Squad has really got to step up their game to polish this glorious turd. The tank for a Euro Trash point guard who won't be in the draft this year because he fucking sucks due to "injury," the Next Great Bigman Bust, or the #1 pick who will be a poor man's Carlos Boozer but we'll never get our crack at, is retarded. It doesn't matter if you pick 2 or 15 this year, the talent just isn't there to warrant position jockeying.
So whatever it is Nellie thinks he's doing with the rotations and the decision-making, it needs to just stop. We've established that we can be fucking terrible with him dominating every single game and every single young player. Our only excuse is the Monta Ellis injury but Maggette, Jackson, and the D League Five do not help anything and Marco will be shit the moment the ball is permanently taken out of his hands by the 10 better players on the roster. We sucked ass before It Ain't Me and Bad Porn went down, Crawford is one of the streakiest chuckers in the league, and we don't play defense or big men with any sort of intelligence.
We just fucking suck.
So stop attending these shit fests. Show the management you're on to them and, even though we know they're here to rake in dough, it won't be ours until they stop insulting our (my) intelligence. Because we suck more than ever for no good reason and it all originates off the court. That's the worst possible NBA scenario imaginable.
Merry Christmas.
I Know You All Hate Hollinger. Still.
Marco on fire since Hollinger played nice with one of his most adamant bust calls from the 2007 draft:
7-24 from the field (29%), 1-6 from three (17%), no free throw attempts last night, 1 li'l ol' rebound, and 2 TO to go with his 3 AST (Biedrins had 2 in fewer minutes... we got us a point guard!). On AST/TO ratio, Jamal Crawford, CJ Watson, RONNY TURIAF, and team leader Marcus Williams (4.33, better than league qualified leader Jose Calderon. All Star!) all have him beat (1.64) and he's had ample time to show his stuff. At least his AST/TO is better than Stephen Jackson's (1.61) and Anthony Morrow's (1.47). Right? Super star. CJ Watson now outscoring him 9.4-8.4 PPG and shooting the 3 better as Azubuike also catches up, percentage-wise. In fairness, Morrow was also ass from the field last night (matched Marco's 3-11), though he's on the verge of doubling Belinelli's pussy-ass FTAPG because, put simply, Morrow is a bad ass mother fucker and Marco is Euro Trash. Deal with it.
I can bag on Chuck Belinelli all goddam day. The kid is destined for utter mediocrity and if he's NOT traded before this time next year, it's because he got a buy out and returned to Europe so he could suck but make tons more cash and get his dick sucked by terrible basketball fans smoking cigarettes at the game while throwing empties at the opposing team's bench.
Anyway, on with the show.
Pretty much everyone but Brandan Wright and Anthony Randolph took a big fat dump last night. Nellie knows talent! I re-posted previous numbers with new ones. Either Hollinger recalculated late or dudes who don't play get bonus points. Would figure for this shitcan squad. Someone who knows what they're talking about can explain this. Or not. I don't give a fuck. I only use stats to say what I need to hear. We'll see how often I do this at all, let alone with historical tracking of any sort. I'm pretty fucking lazy. I might start posting Win Shares and calling them Hollinger PER just to see if anyone even gives a shit. Maybe I'll call Dan Rosenbaum and tell him he's a total fucker. That ought to get us an interview in the very near future. Somewhere near Langley. What a fucker.
You're welcome and shit:
Warriors PER rankings (AVG NBA player: 15.00)
Biedrins 21.27 (-) 21.15
Wright 18.95 (+) 19.16 - Excellent rotations, coach(es).
Crawful 16.33 (+) 16.37
Morrow 16.57 (-) 15.93
Maggette 15.64 (+) 15.70 - A .06 Money Shot.
Belinelli 15.68 (-) 14.56 - Suck my dick.
Watson 14.00 (-) 13.99
Randolph 13.49 (+) 13.67 - Good sign.
Kurz 13.75 (+) 13.78 - He's listed as a SF. Someone tell Nellie.
Jackson 13.50 (+) 13.55 - Clutch.
Azubuike 13.34 (-) 13.07 - Our long national nightmare continues.
Turiaf 11.99 (+) 12.04
Nelson 6.71 (-) 6.66 - Are you really surprised?
Williams 3.39 (+) 3.41
According to my comprehensive mathematical analysis, Marcus Williams will surpass DeMarcus Nelson if he does not play in the next -5 games DeMarcus Nelson plays in. Richard Hendrix surpassed Roberta Kurzgnani the day he was cut free from this gaping maw of suck.
7-24 from the field (29%), 1-6 from three (17%), no free throw attempts last night, 1 li'l ol' rebound, and 2 TO to go with his 3 AST (Biedrins had 2 in fewer minutes... we got us a point guard!). On AST/TO ratio, Jamal Crawford, CJ Watson, RONNY TURIAF, and team leader Marcus Williams (4.33, better than league qualified leader Jose Calderon. All Star!) all have him beat (1.64) and he's had ample time to show his stuff. At least his AST/TO is better than Stephen Jackson's (1.61) and Anthony Morrow's (1.47). Right? Super star. CJ Watson now outscoring him 9.4-8.4 PPG and shooting the 3 better as Azubuike also catches up, percentage-wise. In fairness, Morrow was also ass from the field last night (matched Marco's 3-11), though he's on the verge of doubling Belinelli's pussy-ass FTAPG because, put simply, Morrow is a bad ass mother fucker and Marco is Euro Trash. Deal with it.
I can bag on Chuck Belinelli all goddam day. The kid is destined for utter mediocrity and if he's NOT traded before this time next year, it's because he got a buy out and returned to Europe so he could suck but make tons more cash and get his dick sucked by terrible basketball fans smoking cigarettes at the game while throwing empties at the opposing team's bench.
Anyway, on with the show.
Pretty much everyone but Brandan Wright and Anthony Randolph took a big fat dump last night. Nellie knows talent! I re-posted previous numbers with new ones. Either Hollinger recalculated late or dudes who don't play get bonus points. Would figure for this shitcan squad. Someone who knows what they're talking about can explain this. Or not. I don't give a fuck. I only use stats to say what I need to hear. We'll see how often I do this at all, let alone with historical tracking of any sort. I'm pretty fucking lazy. I might start posting Win Shares and calling them Hollinger PER just to see if anyone even gives a shit. Maybe I'll call Dan Rosenbaum and tell him he's a total fucker. That ought to get us an interview in the very near future. Somewhere near Langley. What a fucker.
You're welcome and shit:
Warriors PER rankings (AVG NBA player: 15.00)
Biedrins 21.27 (-) 21.15
Wright 18.95 (+) 19.16 - Excellent rotations, coach(es).
Crawful 16.33 (+) 16.37
Morrow 16.57 (-) 15.93
Maggette 15.64 (+) 15.70 - A .06 Money Shot.
Belinelli 15.68 (-) 14.56 - Suck my dick.
Watson 14.00 (-) 13.99
Randolph 13.49 (+) 13.67 - Good sign.
Kurz 13.75 (+) 13.78 - He's listed as a SF. Someone tell Nellie.
Jackson 13.50 (+) 13.55 - Clutch.
Azubuike 13.34 (-) 13.07 - Our long national nightmare continues.
Turiaf 11.99 (+) 12.04
Nelson 6.71 (-) 6.66 - Are you really surprised?
Williams 3.39 (+) 3.41
According to my comprehensive mathematical analysis, Marcus Williams will surpass DeMarcus Nelson if he does not play in the next -5 games DeMarcus Nelson plays in. Richard Hendrix surpassed Roberta Kurzgnani the day he was cut free from this gaping maw of suck.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Mullin to be fired VERY soon?
I make no claim to good sources. None whatsoever.
And this seems like it's so heinously destructive-via-historical-mirror-imagery, it just cannot be so. I'll ride that instinct for now. But I still want to put this out there, probably because I'm threatened to my Blogger cred bones by Some Guy and his Ellis call.
So here goes:
Chris Mullin is rumored to be [this close] to out the door officially.
Why in the world any such thing would be discussed, mentioned, or leaked so close to Christmas, the high holiest of team implosion days in the Warrior annals, is beyond my ken.
Just sayin'.
Probably nothing.
And this seems like it's so heinously destructive-via-historical-mirror-imagery, it just cannot be so. I'll ride that instinct for now. But I still want to put this out there, probably because I'm threatened to my Blogger cred bones by Some Guy and his Ellis call.
So here goes:
Chris Mullin is rumored to be [this close] to
Why in the world any such thing would be discussed, mentioned, or leaked so close to Christmas, the high holiest of team implosion days in the Warrior annals, is beyond my ken.
Just sayin'.
Probably nothing.
Don Nelson will never be HOF
He's too big of a fucking ass hole.
And the Basketball Hall of Fame actually, really and truly,
does care about that part of life.
Nellie's all cash, all business, and we've seen time and again how bad that can be for the sport itself. Stern knows business, knows he oversees a massive one, and he's not apologizing. But he's also not screwing people over left and right with the reckless self-interest and uncontrollable, irrational expediency of Don Nelson.
He's better at it than Nellie is.
But in between the truth of the league and the truth of basketball lie the most successful, memorable, and praiseworthy individuals.
Nelson doesn't measure up unless he gets that wins record.
The Hall has resisted him to this point and he's getting worse, not better, at his noteworthy offensive and gimmicky defensive (Hack-a-Shaq/Josh Boone... that worked) contributions.
They're more than happy to see Nellie fail to reach what may be the last straw in their good fight.
The Hall says to Nellie:
Eff you.
You fucking ass hole.
And the Basketball Hall of Fame actually, really and truly,
does care about that part of life.
Nellie's all cash, all business, and we've seen time and again how bad that can be for the sport itself. Stern knows business, knows he oversees a massive one, and he's not apologizing. But he's also not screwing people over left and right with the reckless self-interest and uncontrollable, irrational expediency of Don Nelson.
He's better at it than Nellie is.
But in between the truth of the league and the truth of basketball lie the most successful, memorable, and praiseworthy individuals.
Nelson doesn't measure up unless he gets that wins record.
The Hall has resisted him to this point and he's getting worse, not better, at his noteworthy offensive and gimmicky defensive (Hack-a-Shaq/Josh Boone... that worked) contributions.
They're more than happy to see Nellie fail to reach what may be the last straw in their good fight.
The Hall says to Nellie:
Eff you.
You fucking ass hole.
SPIN UPDATE: Bucher Pimps Jackson's Soul (It Ain't Me)
Plays both sides. How can you hate him?
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/columns/story?page=bucherstephenjax-081223
Jackson is reportedly interested in doing more publicity stunt work in another uniform.
Seriously, every fucking thing this guy does is some fucking media event with some contrived BS about how he doesn't want any attention for it. Yeah, and this guy isn't performing league-mandated donation and community service work until he retires/is excommunicated. Tool.
Just do the good and shut the fuck up like the rest of us, loser.
Go shoot your gun or something.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/columns/story?page=bucherstephenjax-081223
Jackson is reportedly interested in doing more publicity stunt work in another uniform.
Seriously, every fucking thing this guy does is some fucking media event with some contrived BS about how he doesn't want any attention for it. Yeah, and this guy isn't performing league-mandated donation and community service work until he retires/is excommunicated. Tool.
Just do the good and shut the fuck up like the rest of us, loser.
Go shoot your gun or something.
Some Guy says Monta is playing vs. BOS
We'll see.
He'd better be fucking healthy.
I have my doubts but linking's no crime:
http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/2008/12/23/is-corey-maggette-already-almost-a-lost-cause-for-the-warriors/#comment-132784
He'd better be fucking healthy.
I have my doubts but linking's no crime:
http://blogs.mercurynews.com/kawakami/2008/12/23/is-corey-maggette-already-almost-a-lost-cause-for-the-warriors/#comment-132784
READ OF THE DECADE
According to Ric Bucher:
1. Minority owners want to buy Cohan out of their lives
2. Nellie's extension can end due to tanking.
3. Rowell got a 5 year extension
(and according to me, he's fired the moment Cohan sells)
4. Jackson wants out
5. Maggette's agent looking for a trade
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/columns/story?columnist=bucher_ric&page=warriorsbucher-081223
My site dies with Cohan's ownership.
1. Minority owners want to buy Cohan out of their lives
2. Nellie's extension can end due to tanking.
3. Rowell got a 5 year extension
(and according to me, he's fired the moment Cohan sells)
4. Jackson wants out
5. Maggette's agent looking for a trade
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/columns/story?columnist=bucher_ric&page=warriorsbucher-081223
My site dies with Cohan's ownership.
Odds the video compiler outcoaches the Hall of Famer: 3-1
Deposit your unmentionables here...
Starting lineup sure to please:
Watson, Belinelli, Azubuike, Wright, Biedrins.
Hey, THREE FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICKS!!!
Nellie setting a dangerous trend.
Q1
-Biedrins to Wright. All day. Should be all year.
-kidzkidzkidzkidzkidzkidzkidzkidz. Me likey.
-Wright: good. Belinelli: poon.
-Williams > Watson. Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong.
-Belinelli plays CYO defense. Fuckin stooge.
-Bench Azubuike, Belinelli, and Watson for Randolph, Morrow, and Williams and we're getting somewhere.
-We totally won that last 1:00. Miami really working now.
-Watson: All Star! Scrub of the week, Belinelli had his 15 min.
-Point Azubuike.
-Keith Smart's defense is genius.
Q2
-Morrow in for Frank Stallone.
-Randolph would like you to meet his good friend, Mr. Don Nelson.
-Our scrubs are better than Miami's scrubs. Joy.
-I want to feed CJ Watson to Lucky. Like right now.
-We're killin 'em!
-Belinelli in and..... blow me homerz.
-Turiaf lucked into a rebound.
-DeMarcus Nelson seems like such a good idea. But.
-Refs keeping us in this thing. Thanks, guys!
-Randolph's out of control again. Not making friends running under break away dunkers.
-Marco is such ass. They're scoring off of his D at will.
-Sucks always being right. Chuck Belinelli FTL.
-Morrow missed his shots.
-Atrocious D-League play.
-Daequan Cook > Marco Belinelli. Here endeth the lesson.
HALF
Can it get any better?!
Biedrins working on leading the team in REB, AST, and STL tonight. Gotta be an unlikely C accomplishment. He's currently behind only Al Horford for APG among C's. If we didn't suck, he'd be a strong All Star coaches' selection possibility.
Q3
-D League is as D League does.
-Refs have money on this. Book it.
-This is a D League game.
-Point Azubuike!!!
-Belinelli benched for ass-jobbing. STFU homerz.
-Belinelli 2-10, Morrow 1-5.
Guarantee Morrow does not finish at 2-10 if he gets the shots.
-Wright would like you to meet his good friend, Mr. Don Nelson.
-Ugliest ball I've watched all year. Any league.
-Morrow more ballah than Marco will ever be.
-Morrow's game sense is 1000x better than Marco's.
This debate is over, moronz.
-My god.
-So DeMarcus Nelson is our good defender, right?
-Shittiest quarter all year? I say yes due to the Wright benching.
Q4
-Chris Quinn > Marco Belinelli
-I was right. Morrow will finish 1-10
-Beasley > Randolph
-Marco's shot selection may be the worst in the entire league.
-Small Ball FTL. Again.
-Consistent fact: bench Belinelli, team plays better ball.
-Shrimps FTW!!!
-DeMarcus suddenly less sucky than before.
-Marcus Williams will never again play for Don Nelson.
-Nevermind, DMarc still sux.
-Worst D of the year. Wade killed all 5 at once.
-Hey. Where's Rob Kurz?! Merry Xmas Richard Hendrix.
-DWade's into it- 3/4 court alley oop chuck with a shaky lead.
-Redemption: Morrow 3-10. Always right. Still.
-DeMarcus Nelson is special*
-Loooooong bomb
-Yeah, you have a seat Azubuike. Right there in the key.
GAME
We suck ass.
GUARANTEE Don Nelson says the defense showed improvement and GUARANTEE he mentions Miami not topping 100 points. GUARANTEE. Even though our D was complete shite.
Starting lineup sure to please:
Watson, Belinelli, Azubuike, Wright, Biedrins.
Hey, THREE FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICKS!!!
Nellie setting a dangerous trend.
Q1
-Biedrins to Wright. All day. Should be all year.
-kidzkidzkidzkidzkidzkidzkidzkidz. Me likey.
-Wright: good. Belinelli: poon.
-Williams > Watson. Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong.
-Belinelli plays CYO defense. Fuckin stooge.
-Bench Azubuike, Belinelli, and Watson for Randolph, Morrow, and Williams and we're getting somewhere.
-We totally won that last 1:00. Miami really working now.
-Watson: All Star! Scrub of the week, Belinelli had his 15 min.
-Point Azubuike.
-Keith Smart's defense is genius.
Q2
-Morrow in for Frank Stallone.
-Randolph would like you to meet his good friend, Mr. Don Nelson.
-Our scrubs are better than Miami's scrubs. Joy.
-I want to feed CJ Watson to Lucky. Like right now.
-We're killin 'em!
-Belinelli in and..... blow me homerz.
-Turiaf lucked into a rebound.
-DeMarcus Nelson seems like such a good idea. But.
-Refs keeping us in this thing. Thanks, guys!
-Randolph's out of control again. Not making friends running under break away dunkers.
-Marco is such ass. They're scoring off of his D at will.
-Sucks always being right. Chuck Belinelli FTL.
-Morrow missed his shots.
-Atrocious D-League play.
-Daequan Cook > Marco Belinelli. Here endeth the lesson.
HALF
Can it get any better?!
Biedrins working on leading the team in REB, AST, and STL tonight. Gotta be an unlikely C accomplishment. He's currently behind only Al Horford for APG among C's. If we didn't suck, he'd be a strong All Star coaches' selection possibility.
Q3
-D League is as D League does.
-Refs have money on this. Book it.
-This is a D League game.
-Point Azubuike!!!
-Belinelli benched for ass-jobbing. STFU homerz.
-Belinelli 2-10, Morrow 1-5.
Guarantee Morrow does not finish at 2-10 if he gets the shots.
-Wright would like you to meet his good friend, Mr. Don Nelson.
-Ugliest ball I've watched all year. Any league.
-Morrow more ballah than Marco will ever be.
-Morrow's game sense is 1000x better than Marco's.
This debate is over, moronz.
-My god.
-So DeMarcus Nelson is our good defender, right?
-Shittiest quarter all year? I say yes due to the Wright benching.
Q4
-Chris Quinn > Marco Belinelli
-I was right. Morrow will finish 1-10
-Beasley > Randolph
-Marco's shot selection may be the worst in the entire league.
-Small Ball FTL. Again.
-Consistent fact: bench Belinelli, team plays better ball.
-Shrimps FTW!!!
-DeMarcus suddenly less sucky than before.
-Marcus Williams will never again play for Don Nelson.
-Nevermind, DMarc still sux.
-Worst D of the year. Wade killed all 5 at once.
-Hey. Where's Rob Kurz?! Merry Xmas Richard Hendrix.
-DWade's into it- 3/4 court alley oop chuck with a shaky lead.
-Redemption: Morrow 3-10. Always right. Still.
-DeMarcus Nelson is special*
-Loooooong bomb
-Yeah, you have a seat Azubuike. Right there in the key.
GAME
We suck ass.
GUARANTEE Don Nelson says the defense showed improvement and GUARANTEE he mentions Miami not topping 100 points. GUARANTEE. Even though our D was complete shite.
SPIN UPDATE: Maggette's Top Dog Trade Value
To all potential trading partners, the Warriors' official statement on Corey Maggette as dispatched by a Lonely STH Insider in an online trade fantasy forum:
"Our top scorer"
Be advised.
I'm sure Robert Rowell's overactive sphincter twitches in anticipation of his phone ringing. Just once. Corporate America is beautiful.
"Our top scorer"
Be advised.
I'm sure Robert Rowell's overactive sphincter twitches in anticipation of his phone ringing. Just once. Corporate America is beautiful.
Retrospective: Ike Diogu 2006-2007
Ikey can score and board a bit, but mostly he likes to play video games and be slow and stupid. I was ready to hand him the starting PF gig the day we got him and I'd hand it to him now if the alternatives were Corey Maggette and Rob Kurz.
If you wouldn't, you're just being a Homer Dick. Eff off.
This is for the loverz:
23 MPG thru the first 3 games of 06-07.
10 PTS/5 REB/.600/.7 BLK/3 PF/1.3 APG/1 TO/60% FT/
unquantifiable sloth and rock-headedness
Sat on his ass for about all the next 20 or so games.
'Round about December 17th, he suddenly seems an awful lot like one of those "first 8" rotation guys Nellie said he'd be while being "Always Entertaining" on one of the preseason drivetime Tolbert rim jobs on WarriorsRadio.
Other preseason fun facts:
Ralph wants to know about Monta, Nellie says he may not be ready for fulltime work. Mike will handle a lot of point, Petey will be the starter, may not be great minutes for Monta.
Nellie knows talent.
Anyhoo, the chronicle of Ike Diogu's final month as a Warrior:
8 games of 10+ minutes played, FOUR IN A ROW immediately preceding The Trade.
2 DNP (Win @ NO and a 144-135 track meet loss @ MEM).
In those 8 showcase games:
15 MPG/9.6 PPG/4 RPG/.571/2.75 PF/.9 BLK/1.5 TO/
he passed the ball once and was a solid Warrior defender
Then is was January 17th.
Bye bye Marco!
If you wouldn't, you're just being a Homer Dick. Eff off.
This is for the loverz:
23 MPG thru the first 3 games of 06-07.
10 PTS/5 REB/.600/.7 BLK/3 PF/1.3 APG/1 TO/60% FT/
unquantifiable sloth and rock-headedness
Sat on his ass for about all the next 20 or so games.
'Round about December 17th, he suddenly seems an awful lot like one of those "first 8" rotation guys Nellie said he'd be while being "Always Entertaining" on one of the preseason drivetime Tolbert rim jobs on WarriorsRadio.
Other preseason fun facts:
Ralph wants to know about Monta, Nellie says he may not be ready for fulltime work. Mike will handle a lot of point, Petey will be the starter, may not be great minutes for Monta.
Nellie knows talent.
Anyhoo, the chronicle of Ike Diogu's final month as a Warrior:
8 games of 10+ minutes played, FOUR IN A ROW immediately preceding The Trade.
2 DNP (Win @ NO and a 144-135 track meet loss @ MEM).
In those 8 showcase games:
15 MPG/9.6 PPG/4 RPG/.571/2.75 PF/.9 BLK/1.5 TO/
he passed the ball once and was a solid Warrior defender
Then is was January 17th.
Bye bye Marco!
Marcus Thompson reports the facts...
Sidney Moncrief is apparently Keith Dumb's
"Assistant Defensive Coordinator."
I hope Marcus is just dabbling in irony.
"Assistant Defensive Coordinator."
I hope Marcus is just dabbling in irony.
I know you all hate John Hollinger but...
From his Monday bits:
"I got a good look at Golden State on Friday when the team came to Atlanta, and the Warriors appear to be just as much of a mess from up close as they are from afar. You have to start wondering aloud whether Don Nelson is trying to get himself fired so he can take his guaranteed money back to Maui. Between last week's reported practice confrontation with Stephen Jackson, his dismissive stance toward rookie Anthony Randolph and his bizarre public handover of the defense to assistant Keith Smart after the loss to Atlanta, the team seems completely adrift.
"Fortunately for the Warriors, Jamal Crawford is no stranger to teams that are adrift. In similar circus environments in Chicago and New York, he proved he could tune out the noise (as well as the defensive instructions), and he appears to be doing it again here. Saturday's 50-point effort in Charlotte made him only the fourth player to score that many points in three different uniforms.
"One big positive for the Warriors is the play of Marco Belinelli. He's starting while Stephen Jackson and Corey Maggette are out and has averaged 20 points and five assists in his past four games while shooting 32-for-61 from the floor. Nelson said a recent switch to a more drive-and-kick-oriented offense has benefited Belinelli, but an even bigger reason to smile is that he's making shots.
"For all the compliments Belinelli's smooth stroke received in Italy, he always shot a poor percentage there and made 38.7 percent of his shots as a rookie in the NBA. This season, his percentage is up to 50.4 percent; time will tell whether that's a permanent shift or a temporary fluke. But he needs to keep shooting well. As well as he's been playing, he has made only 15 free-throw attempts this season and has relatively weak secondary numbers, plus he's a below-average defender. His career success will hinge on whether he continues to knock down shots."
*UPDATE: Belinelli went a Baron/Jackson-esque 4-13 from the floor last night and played some breathtaking matador, I-don't-know-what-the-fuck-to-do-on-an-NBA-floor Keith Smart "defense,"
just for good measure.
And in other Hollinger stat geek nerd news no one who follows a shitball chuck squad of D-League/Euro gimmick incompetence and high school social cliquing like the Warriors can possibly consider without having a Bandwagon-sized Aneurysm:
Warriors PER rankings (AVG NBA player: 15.00)
Biedrins 21.27
Wright 18.95
(Baron 16.85)
Morrow 16.57
(Fernandez 16.51)
Crawful 16.33
Belinelli 15.68
Maggette 15.64
Watson 14.00
Kurz 13.75
Jackson 13.50
Randolph 13.49
Azubuike 13.34
Turiaf 11.99
Nelson 6.71
Williams 3.39
The only one I give a pass to is Turiaf.
Tell me why I shouldn't.
Eff you.
"I got a good look at Golden State on Friday when the team came to Atlanta, and the Warriors appear to be just as much of a mess from up close as they are from afar. You have to start wondering aloud whether Don Nelson is trying to get himself fired so he can take his guaranteed money back to Maui. Between last week's reported practice confrontation with Stephen Jackson, his dismissive stance toward rookie Anthony Randolph and his bizarre public handover of the defense to assistant Keith Smart after the loss to Atlanta, the team seems completely adrift.
"Fortunately for the Warriors, Jamal Crawford is no stranger to teams that are adrift. In similar circus environments in Chicago and New York, he proved he could tune out the noise (as well as the defensive instructions), and he appears to be doing it again here. Saturday's 50-point effort in Charlotte made him only the fourth player to score that many points in three different uniforms.
"One big positive for the Warriors is the play of Marco Belinelli. He's starting while Stephen Jackson and Corey Maggette are out and has averaged 20 points and five assists in his past four games while shooting 32-for-61 from the floor. Nelson said a recent switch to a more drive-and-kick-oriented offense has benefited Belinelli, but an even bigger reason to smile is that he's making shots.
"For all the compliments Belinelli's smooth stroke received in Italy, he always shot a poor percentage there and made 38.7 percent of his shots as a rookie in the NBA. This season, his percentage is up to 50.4 percent; time will tell whether that's a permanent shift or a temporary fluke. But he needs to keep shooting well. As well as he's been playing, he has made only 15 free-throw attempts this season and has relatively weak secondary numbers, plus he's a below-average defender. His career success will hinge on whether he continues to knock down shots."
*UPDATE: Belinelli went a Baron/Jackson-esque 4-13 from the floor last night and played some breathtaking matador, I-don't-know-what-the-fuck-to-do-on-an-NBA-floor Keith Smart "defense,"
just for good measure.
And in other Hollinger stat geek nerd news no one who follows a shitball chuck squad of D-League/Euro gimmick incompetence and high school social cliquing like the Warriors can possibly consider without having a Bandwagon-sized Aneurysm:
Warriors PER rankings (AVG NBA player: 15.00)
Biedrins 21.27
Wright 18.95
(Baron 16.85)
Morrow 16.57
(Fernandez 16.51)
Crawful 16.33
Belinelli 15.68
Maggette 15.64
Watson 14.00
Kurz 13.75
Jackson 13.50
Randolph 13.49
Azubuike 13.34
Turiaf 11.99
Nelson 6.71
Williams 3.39
The only one I give a pass to is Turiaf.
Tell me why I shouldn't.
Eff you.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Warriors can't quite set new scoring low
The Warriors went totally scoreless for a full 3 minutes of the 4th quarter until Marcus Williams nailed his first 3 pointer of the season with 20 seconds remaining, pushing the Warriors from 78 to 81 points on the night and ruining their chances of breaking new ground in the world of Suck. They scored a season low 79 points November 3rd at Memphis. DeMarcus Nelson tried to set the new mark by missing two late free throws badly- very badly- but to no avail.
Kevin McHale is afraid of you.
Be sure to check this out, from Wages of Wins and slamonline and the Pioneer Press. McHale couldn't be worse for NBA basketball. Couldn't be.
What a fucking incompetent boob:
http://slamonline.com/online/nba/2008/12/kevin-mchale-front-offices-listening-to-bloggers-too-much/
What a fucking incompetent boob:
http://slamonline.com/online/nba/2008/12/kevin-mchale-front-offices-listening-to-bloggers-too-much/
"I Wanna Be in the Bay" TOR@Ghost Town LAC: Baron Davis's Holiday Ham
This guy is fat as hell.
He's standing around doing nothing and it's only a minute in.
Q1
-Al Thornton > Corey Maggette
-Chris Bosh > Zach Randolph
-Wow, I've never seen a fatter lazier team than these Clippers.
-Jose Calderon just smoked Baron off the dribble. Poon homerz, STFU.
-Eric Gordon > Stephen Jackson
-Staples is a ghost town.
-Toronto might feel better after tonight. At least a little bit.
-Baron's such a crap goon. Good riddance.
-Baron doesn't even pretend to defend anymore. Check, please!
-Baron plays Bowling for Spaniards. What a poon.
-Baron cares for exactly one minute of every quarter.
Q2
-Well this is a surprise: Clips play better with Baron off the floor.
-Bargnani is so not worth it. Any it. Nothing. No it is base enough.
-If you're scoring along at home, give BD an extra TO. Thanks refs!
-Baron quits on this game in 5... 4... 3... 2...
-Jose Calderon is an All Star. Baron Davis is not. Never ever ever.
-Top 5 point guard my ass. Holy crap, people. Watch a game.
-Rob Kurz > Andrea Bargnani
-Steve Novak > Baron Fatass Davis
-32 point half against a shit defense. I miss Baron Davis.
HALF
Q3
-Well J O'Neal can certainly torch Zach Randolph.
-Baron with the fade away shit shot! No good.
-Baron's getting destroyed by Jose Calderon.
-This game is worse than ours was.
-Bargnani: Bust. No thanks.
-Hmmm. Jermaine O'Neal: still good.
-Bargnani may be the worst rebounder in the entire NBA.
The Dirk archetype needs to die a quick and brutal death.
-These teams suck ass. Why the hell am I watching this?
Q4
-Paul Davis vs. Jake Voshkul, that's why.
-To any STH stooge Rowell junk-munching condescending asshole high end seat-sitting boring lonely white men out there: The Warriors will win more with Jermaine O'Neal and without Stephen Jackson and Corey Maggette than vice versa. So what. the fuck. are you talking about, you pathetic basketball retardz?!
-Zach Randolph has an early flight for Xmas.
-Randolph won't play again until January.
-Clips much worse without Randolph. WOW.
-Bosh has completely taken this game over.
-Bosh just drilled a 3!
-BD's a douche. Peace, fucker.
-Baron's the king of the worthless loser 20/10.
-Randolph's the king of the worthless loser 20/10.
-Bosh is just fucking around. No one's scared of Baron.
Sad as it is, Randolph is the best player the Clippers have.
-Hey wait a minute. Where the hell is Camby?!
GAME
97-75 NOT the Clips' worst scoring output! (73 vs. Utah)
Merry Xmas Baron, you effing reject.
You and the Clippers suck severe, severe ass.
We beat the Clips!
He's standing around doing nothing and it's only a minute in.
Q1
-Al Thornton > Corey Maggette
-Chris Bosh > Zach Randolph
-Wow, I've never seen a fatter lazier team than these Clippers.
-Jose Calderon just smoked Baron off the dribble. Poon homerz, STFU.
-Eric Gordon > Stephen Jackson
-Staples is a ghost town.
-Toronto might feel better after tonight. At least a little bit.
-Baron's such a crap goon. Good riddance.
-Baron doesn't even pretend to defend anymore. Check, please!
-Baron plays Bowling for Spaniards. What a poon.
-Baron cares for exactly one minute of every quarter.
Q2
-Well this is a surprise: Clips play better with Baron off the floor.
-Bargnani is so not worth it. Any it. Nothing. No it is base enough.
-If you're scoring along at home, give BD an extra TO. Thanks refs!
-Baron quits on this game in 5... 4... 3... 2...
-Jose Calderon is an All Star. Baron Davis is not. Never ever ever.
-Top 5 point guard my ass. Holy crap, people. Watch a game.
-Rob Kurz > Andrea Bargnani
-Steve Novak > Baron Fatass Davis
-32 point half against a shit defense. I miss Baron Davis.
HALF
Q3
-Well J O'Neal can certainly torch Zach Randolph.
-Baron with the fade away shit shot! No good.
-Baron's getting destroyed by Jose Calderon.
-This game is worse than ours was.
-Bargnani: Bust. No thanks.
-Hmmm. Jermaine O'Neal: still good.
-Bargnani may be the worst rebounder in the entire NBA.
The Dirk archetype needs to die a quick and brutal death.
-These teams suck ass. Why the hell am I watching this?
Q4
-Paul Davis vs. Jake Voshkul, that's why.
-To any STH stooge Rowell junk-munching condescending asshole high end seat-sitting boring lonely white men out there: The Warriors will win more with Jermaine O'Neal and without Stephen Jackson and Corey Maggette than vice versa. So what. the fuck. are you talking about, you pathetic basketball retardz?!
-Zach Randolph has an early flight for Xmas.
-Randolph won't play again until January.
-Clips much worse without Randolph. WOW.
-Bosh has completely taken this game over.
-Bosh just drilled a 3!
-BD's a douche. Peace, fucker.
-Baron's the king of the worthless loser 20/10.
-Randolph's the king of the worthless loser 20/10.
-Bosh is just fucking around. No one's scared of Baron.
Sad as it is, Randolph is the best player the Clippers have.
-Hey wait a minute. Where the hell is Camby?!
GAME
97-75 NOT the Clips' worst scoring output! (73 vs. Utah)
Merry Xmas Baron, you effing reject.
You and the Clippers suck severe, severe ass.
We beat the Clips!
GSW-ORL Open Thread
Wright starts.
Nellie apparently took his meds today.
-Marco can't finish left. BEASTING the glass though!
-Oh boy, we look fucking great tonight.
-Keith Smart defense... fantastic.
-Don Nelson's focus on offense was the right call. Really paying off.
-The weekend's brilliant Nellie "adjustments" are on full display.
-Rob Kurz was the right call.
-Marco: point guard (guffaw)
-Marco=Bad Jack. You effing morons.
-Randolph looks like a big pussy now. Way to go, Don.
-Marco was ass, good thing Nellie's resting him up.
-We got the suck.
-8:15 2ndQ- this is where Marco takes ovah.
-Courtney Lee is everything Marco & Mickael will never be.
-Randolph looks like someone told him he was on the block.
-Can we fire Keith Dumb first?
-Any homerz bitching about the refs just got their makeups.
-Wright and Randolph, and Morrow.
HALF
-Marco takes over now?
-Biedrins wants to lead the league's C's in assists. Eff you haterz.
-Someone please come on here and tell me all about Keith Dumbassmotherfucker and Marco the Scrub. You effing jackasses. I call you all out, WeBelieve!erz. You're done.
-Marco benched. Blow me.
-Rob Kurz is a waste of anything anyone ever gave up for him.
-Yes, it is a burden being so dead right about every goddam thing.
-Intelligent fans of the world, unite! Flip off anyone in a We Believe! t-shirt on sight.
-Anyone wanna change their votes to not just run contrary to mine, on the Dumb/Moncrief showdown? Cuz Nellie set this game up to be Keith's calling card of suck. The ONLY thing we did better was board for a bit and that was only because we played Randolph and Wright extensively. Wright is a master of the volleyball tip to others, even if he ain't got the fat board stats for ya.
-Really glad Nellie took D off his plate so he could focus on offense. 79 is our season low, in Memphis way back when. This was worse.
-Rob Kurz is a worthless fuck.
GAME
-Marco takes over now?
Nellie apparently took his meds today.
-Marco can't finish left. BEASTING the glass though!
-Oh boy, we look fucking great tonight.
-Keith Smart defense... fantastic.
-Don Nelson's focus on offense was the right call. Really paying off.
-The weekend's brilliant Nellie "adjustments" are on full display.
-Rob Kurz was the right call.
-Marco: point guard (guffaw)
-Marco=Bad Jack. You effing morons.
-Randolph looks like a big pussy now. Way to go, Don.
-Marco was ass, good thing Nellie's resting him up.
-We got the suck.
-8:15 2ndQ- this is where Marco takes ovah.
-Courtney Lee is everything Marco & Mickael will never be.
-Randolph looks like someone told him he was on the block.
-Can we fire Keith Dumb first?
-Any homerz bitching about the refs just got their makeups.
-Wright and Randolph, and Morrow.
HALF
-Marco takes over now?
-Biedrins wants to lead the league's C's in assists. Eff you haterz.
-Someone please come on here and tell me all about Keith Dumbassmotherfucker and Marco the Scrub. You effing jackasses. I call you all out, WeBelieve!erz. You're done.
-Marco benched. Blow me.
-Rob Kurz is a waste of anything anyone ever gave up for him.
-Yes, it is a burden being so dead right about every goddam thing.
-Intelligent fans of the world, unite! Flip off anyone in a We Believe! t-shirt on sight.
-Anyone wanna change their votes to not just run contrary to mine, on the Dumb/Moncrief showdown? Cuz Nellie set this game up to be Keith's calling card of suck. The ONLY thing we did better was board for a bit and that was only because we played Randolph and Wright extensively. Wright is a master of the volleyball tip to others, even if he ain't got the fat board stats for ya.
-Really glad Nellie took D off his plate so he could focus on offense. 79 is our season low, in Memphis way back when. This was worse.
-Rob Kurz is a worthless fuck.
GAME
-Marco takes over now?
UPDATE: O'Bryant = Randolph
So far........
Spare me the talk of "obvious talent" and "considerbale upside."
Explain to me how either one has made any difference yet.
Both give Nellie shit and he shits on them publicly all the time as a response to not getting his taint licked.
We lose all the damn time and now our coach is calling Randolph a bust punk in the making. Randolph figures to respond, right?
Let's see it.
The playbook is tired. The Scotch is sweet. The Island beckons.
Spare me the talk of "obvious talent" and "considerbale upside."
Explain to me how either one has made any difference yet.
Both give Nellie shit and he shits on them publicly all the time as a response to not getting his taint licked.
We lose all the damn time and now our coach is calling Randolph a bust punk in the making. Randolph figures to respond, right?
Let's see it.
The playbook is tired. The Scotch is sweet. The Island beckons.
The Return of Dungina?
Mike Dunleavy has resumed practicing with the Indiana Pacers, who have officially kicked the living shit out of the Warriors in the trade. No word on his game debut but it figures to roughly coincide with that of Monta Ellis, just so Larry Bird can say with great satisfaction that Mike Dunleavy's return to his lineup resulted in more wins than Monta Ellis' did for the Warriors.
That's all Larry's in this business for. Personal pissing contests with the worst NBA franchise of the last 15 years. Really, he cares. DEEPLY.
Eff you.
That's all Larry's in this business for. Personal pissing contests with the worst NBA franchise of the last 15 years. Really, he cares. DEEPLY.
Eff you.
Ellis returns February 12th & Toronto
Folks, you have to be ready to make certain sacrifices and concessions in this life and we as Warrior fans have to make this one right now: This is a lost season. Not in the important senses, like letting kids embarass themselves against All Stars and letting Don Nelson coach a game with no pants. Those things can still happen. No digressions from the plan there. But we're not making the playoffs and we're not getting out of the lottery in the draft so it's time to start being honest with ourselves about what we're trying to do and how best do it.
How do I know we're lottery bound?
Boston, Cleveland, LA Lakers, New Orleans, Houston, San Antonio, Portland, Dallas, Phoenix, Denver, Utah, Orlando, Atlanta, Detroit, Miami, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Chicago, and probably at least 4 other teams that will finish above us in the standings. That's how I fucking know.
Health does not fix this problem, either. Number one, we won't get the only health that matters, Monta Ellis', until sometime in late January or early February at this rate. Number two, healthy Corey Maggette and healthy Stephen Jackson already played. They sucked. We knew they would suck. We were right. Rowell and the BOD were wrong. Again. But they're still rich and you're not. One of those fuckers pulled in $70 million+ just from his day job. And we hear whining from asshole richy riches about burning a few million this year to fix the damned team for the long haul, in the midst of record team revenue and "this wintry economic climate." Cognitive dissonance? No, none.
Blow me, Scrooge. Go fuck yourself.
But let's return to the Monta Ellis issue. Rumors about Raymond Felton leaked by jilted Warriors executives stuck trying to get calls returned by Michael Jordan as Larry Brown holds a gun to their head says one thing and one thing only:
Blazers at home, February 12th.
Sure, Monta might try to come back for the Dallas ESPN game on January 28th. I can see that. It's stupid as fuck, but we're the sort of sad sack franchise that would risk it. But it's far more likely that he'll make his season debut-
1. At home
2. Right before the All Star Break
Why right before the All Star Break? Simple. He won't be ready until February anyway and the Warriors close January on the road and open February with a nightmare schedule. Between January 28th and February 12th, the day before the All Star weekend kickoff, the Warriors play 9 games in 16 days. Nothing terrible there. But it's 3 in 4 nights on the road in Dallas, New Orleans, and Houston. Then it's literally a game every other night against: San Antonio, Phoenix, Phoenix, Utah, New York, Portland, all at home except the second Phoenix game.
The trade deadline is February 22nd and All Star weekend is February 13th-17th. Most teams only play 2 games between the All Star game and the trade deadline. The Warriors' ownership has to time this just right to unwrap Ellis, prime the STH suckerz for the dead weight purge, and still get enough games in with the new bits and the kids to suggest a pulse for 2009-10. The only logical way to get the fans pumped up, hold them off of meaningful return on ridiculous expectations, and build some goofy suspense while working the team out together convincingly after a free-for-all unveiling on the home court in a game that has natural appeal anyway, is to debut him Thursday, February 12th, at home against the big draw young Portland team, play up the future NBA angle, milk fans through another unbearable All Star weekend while drilling the team non-stop after sending Maggette and Jackson to Vegas to get loaded and laid, and unveil the young guns on national television Wednesday, February 18th, Lakers, at home.
There's just no point to doing it any sooner. He won't be ready, he'll have to run and work the whole time, and the team has no prayer of finding any sort of useful rhythym against those squads as they gear up to end the first half on a high note and make their playoff position runs full force coming out of the break. Those teams will already be assembled, prepped, and practiced. They'll be in top form. Bothering to run Ellis' bionic ankle out against that is just a waste of everyone's time. And Maggette and Jackson will just get in the way of everything regardless, so the less heinously counterproductive bullshit, the better.
That's why I say, we're waiting until February 12th to see Monta Ellis play a game.
If our ownership had a brain and a pair, they'd move the crappy vets now and stop pussyfooting around their large plate of crow. They blew it again, the national and local media is about to let them have it, and then everyone will forget them again. Make the damn move, axe the useless never-will-be's- Jackson and Maggette- and do so on only one rigid condition: total cap clearance of both contracts by Summer 2010. There is only one move that does it. Only one.
The fans already get that we're not going anywhere with Maggette OR Jackson. It happens just that fast. Still, you get the sense Ridder and Fitzgerald already have the "Warriors are getting healthy, it's a great time out again!" talk points memorized. Anything for a spare $100,000. Fuckers. I'll pay double for a ticket if I know it will never get put into Stephen Jackson or Corey Maggette or Don Nelson's pockets. Quote me. But I'm an "outlier."
The co-owners like the Cohan model, where they don't have to follow the team or even like basketball at all, par for the NBA course, they just have to collect their checks and stay on their side of the bay or in Washington or at the tax shelter or wherever it is these people suck their blood. But they ought to recognize that the gravy train is about to stop because they own an inexplicably terrible product, unless they can shed the dead weight immediately and simply stop lying to themselves and the fans about trying to "win now." If you were trying to just win now, you'd keep the only combo that won anything and you'd keep trying to win with it. Instead, they've steadily dismantled it via intelligent, perfectly defensible moves like moving Richardson and booting Davis, but they've filled those voids with even WORSE investments that are individually cheaper and boxscore equivalent but plain old retarded in all the important basketball/chemistry/longevity senses.
And now they're afraid of Jermaine O'Neal.
Whatever, they're going to lose money unless they void Monta and don't sign anyone or do something similar. Good luck dumping Maggette and Jackson. But at least they've admitted they're trying to. That's a good start, I suppose.
They should make the quick move they think is TOO quick and move on Jermaine O'Neal. He sucks, he may not opt out, and he should never even show up once we've got him. Despite all of this, Jermaine O'Neal is THE answer to the Warriors' problems.
Too bad the team doesn't have any vision in the front office.
The talk points are already making the rounds.
Par.
How do I know we're lottery bound?
Boston, Cleveland, LA Lakers, New Orleans, Houston, San Antonio, Portland, Dallas, Phoenix, Denver, Utah, Orlando, Atlanta, Detroit, Miami, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Chicago, and probably at least 4 other teams that will finish above us in the standings. That's how I fucking know.
Health does not fix this problem, either. Number one, we won't get the only health that matters, Monta Ellis', until sometime in late January or early February at this rate. Number two, healthy Corey Maggette and healthy Stephen Jackson already played. They sucked. We knew they would suck. We were right. Rowell and the BOD were wrong. Again. But they're still rich and you're not. One of those fuckers pulled in $70 million+ just from his day job. And we hear whining from asshole richy riches about burning a few million this year to fix the damned team for the long haul, in the midst of record team revenue and "this wintry economic climate." Cognitive dissonance? No, none.
Blow me, Scrooge. Go fuck yourself.
But let's return to the Monta Ellis issue. Rumors about Raymond Felton leaked by jilted Warriors executives stuck trying to get calls returned by Michael Jordan as Larry Brown holds a gun to their head says one thing and one thing only:
Blazers at home, February 12th.
Sure, Monta might try to come back for the Dallas ESPN game on January 28th. I can see that. It's stupid as fuck, but we're the sort of sad sack franchise that would risk it. But it's far more likely that he'll make his season debut-
1. At home
2. Right before the All Star Break
Why right before the All Star Break? Simple. He won't be ready until February anyway and the Warriors close January on the road and open February with a nightmare schedule. Between January 28th and February 12th, the day before the All Star weekend kickoff, the Warriors play 9 games in 16 days. Nothing terrible there. But it's 3 in 4 nights on the road in Dallas, New Orleans, and Houston. Then it's literally a game every other night against: San Antonio, Phoenix, Phoenix, Utah, New York, Portland, all at home except the second Phoenix game.
The trade deadline is February 22nd and All Star weekend is February 13th-17th. Most teams only play 2 games between the All Star game and the trade deadline. The Warriors' ownership has to time this just right to unwrap Ellis, prime the STH suckerz for the dead weight purge, and still get enough games in with the new bits and the kids to suggest a pulse for 2009-10. The only logical way to get the fans pumped up, hold them off of meaningful return on ridiculous expectations, and build some goofy suspense while working the team out together convincingly after a free-for-all unveiling on the home court in a game that has natural appeal anyway, is to debut him Thursday, February 12th, at home against the big draw young Portland team, play up the future NBA angle, milk fans through another unbearable All Star weekend while drilling the team non-stop after sending Maggette and Jackson to Vegas to get loaded and laid, and unveil the young guns on national television Wednesday, February 18th, Lakers, at home.
There's just no point to doing it any sooner. He won't be ready, he'll have to run and work the whole time, and the team has no prayer of finding any sort of useful rhythym against those squads as they gear up to end the first half on a high note and make their playoff position runs full force coming out of the break. Those teams will already be assembled, prepped, and practiced. They'll be in top form. Bothering to run Ellis' bionic ankle out against that is just a waste of everyone's time. And Maggette and Jackson will just get in the way of everything regardless, so the less heinously counterproductive bullshit, the better.
That's why I say, we're waiting until February 12th to see Monta Ellis play a game.
If our ownership had a brain and a pair, they'd move the crappy vets now and stop pussyfooting around their large plate of crow. They blew it again, the national and local media is about to let them have it, and then everyone will forget them again. Make the damn move, axe the useless never-will-be's- Jackson and Maggette- and do so on only one rigid condition: total cap clearance of both contracts by Summer 2010. There is only one move that does it. Only one.
The fans already get that we're not going anywhere with Maggette OR Jackson. It happens just that fast. Still, you get the sense Ridder and Fitzgerald already have the "Warriors are getting healthy, it's a great time out again!" talk points memorized. Anything for a spare $100,000. Fuckers. I'll pay double for a ticket if I know it will never get put into Stephen Jackson or Corey Maggette or Don Nelson's pockets. Quote me. But I'm an "outlier."
The co-owners like the Cohan model, where they don't have to follow the team or even like basketball at all, par for the NBA course, they just have to collect their checks and stay on their side of the bay or in Washington or at the tax shelter or wherever it is these people suck their blood. But they ought to recognize that the gravy train is about to stop because they own an inexplicably terrible product, unless they can shed the dead weight immediately and simply stop lying to themselves and the fans about trying to "win now." If you were trying to just win now, you'd keep the only combo that won anything and you'd keep trying to win with it. Instead, they've steadily dismantled it via intelligent, perfectly defensible moves like moving Richardson and booting Davis, but they've filled those voids with even WORSE investments that are individually cheaper and boxscore equivalent but plain old retarded in all the important basketball/chemistry/longevity senses.
And now they're afraid of Jermaine O'Neal.
Whatever, they're going to lose money unless they void Monta and don't sign anyone or do something similar. Good luck dumping Maggette and Jackson. But at least they've admitted they're trying to. That's a good start, I suppose.
They should make the quick move they think is TOO quick and move on Jermaine O'Neal. He sucks, he may not opt out, and he should never even show up once we've got him. Despite all of this, Jermaine O'Neal is THE answer to the Warriors' problems.
Too bad the team doesn't have any vision in the front office.
The talk points are already making the rounds.
Par.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Patrick O'Bryant is God
I know there is a rampant online debate raging on about the virtues of Patrick O'Bryant. This alone is clear indication of the depravity Warriors fandom inflicts upon its citizens. But I made bold claims that O'Bryant would have little trouble racking up big time numbers if simply gifted minutes as Marco Belinelli has been in myriad losing efforts and wins against panty-waste basement competition over the recent showcase stretch. On this count, I'll concede clear genius to Don Nelson. He knows how to make shitty players do things that make shitty fans shit their shitty pants and lose control of their shitty gonads. It's science.
Then tonight, Glen "Big Pussy" Davis was rear-ended by Patrick O'Bryant's agent while driving to the game and was held out while receiving treatment for whiplash and something else. He ain't dead. Will play again this year. Let's move on. This meant that Patty got some Christmas Bonus playing time tonight, logging the rugged workman's 2x5: 2 minutes, 2 points, 2 boards, 2 turnovers, +2 for floortime. He's clearly broken through to Doc Rivers in practice and has something to offer. Doc just needs to see it in writing to get the message and then it's MIP or bust for Patty Cakes OB. This calls for meaningless derivative extrapolation.
So here it is, Patty Cakes' per40 boxscore work:
14.6 PTS (.500/.667 FT)
12.8 REB
2.75 AST
1.82 BLK
.9 STL
6.33 TO
10.9 PF
1.33 PPS
This debate is over.
Merry Xmas.
Then tonight, Glen "Big Pussy" Davis was rear-ended by Patrick O'Bryant's agent while driving to the game and was held out while receiving treatment for whiplash and something else. He ain't dead. Will play again this year. Let's move on. This meant that Patty got some Christmas Bonus playing time tonight, logging the rugged workman's 2x5: 2 minutes, 2 points, 2 boards, 2 turnovers, +2 for floortime. He's clearly broken through to Doc Rivers in practice and has something to offer. Doc just needs to see it in writing to get the message and then it's MIP or bust for Patty Cakes OB. This calls for meaningless derivative extrapolation.
So here it is, Patty Cakes' per40 boxscore work:
14.6 PTS (.500/.667 FT)
12.8 REB
2.75 AST
1.82 BLK
.9 STL
6.33 TO
10.9 PF
1.33 PPS
This debate is over.
Merry Xmas.
Tony Allen > Marco Belinelli
Deal with it.
PS, the Warriors are pretty open about their job: make money for Chris Cohan and the software execs who co-own with him. One of whom is about to join the Obama cabinet (the non-white guy in the BABP, LLC). To a goddam fault. Their stoogey STH poons will now pepper the intranetz to say that O'Neal is a bad buy because,
get this:
They want to hang on to Maggette and Jackson beyond this February to save cash.
Bullshit. These goons have no fucking clue what's about to hit them. They don't even attend the games. Or watch them. Their lawyers' kids get the tickets usually. The ball is so terrible and the season so unsalvageable by anything other than a full recovery by Monta Ellis, the losses SO on the way in full force now that our cake opponents are almost past, that season ticket buys are about to plummet. There's no fix for this. The Warriors are about to lose some money.
Now, this means they should be avoiding bad expenses and shaving all the cash they can off of overhead, pocketing it like they did the Richardson trade exception. But when they release statements about championship building (as they do whenever they defend their latest bullshit cost-cut), they're just fucking lying to your face.
They couldn't care less about you.
Cash. Period. Don't kid yourselves.
Eff you.
PS, the Warriors are pretty open about their job: make money for Chris Cohan and the software execs who co-own with him. One of whom is about to join the Obama cabinet (the non-white guy in the BABP, LLC). To a goddam fault. Their stoogey STH poons will now pepper the intranetz to say that O'Neal is a bad buy because,
get this:
They want to hang on to Maggette and Jackson beyond this February to save cash.
Bullshit. These goons have no fucking clue what's about to hit them. They don't even attend the games. Or watch them. Their lawyers' kids get the tickets usually. The ball is so terrible and the season so unsalvageable by anything other than a full recovery by Monta Ellis, the losses SO on the way in full force now that our cake opponents are almost past, that season ticket buys are about to plummet. There's no fix for this. The Warriors are about to lose some money.
Now, this means they should be avoiding bad expenses and shaving all the cash they can off of overhead, pocketing it like they did the Richardson trade exception. But when they release statements about championship building (as they do whenever they defend their latest bullshit cost-cut), they're just fucking lying to your face.
They couldn't care less about you.
Cash. Period. Don't kid yourselves.
Eff you.
Old White Men and the NBA
They know they're right, they know you can't do shit about it, they want your money, and they think you're a stupid piece of shit.
These are the folks who call Stephen Jackson and Corey Maggette assets and are deathly afraid of Jermaine O'Neal not opting out this Summer and being (gasp!) some useless pile of $23 million expiring pre-Summer 2010. They won't admit they have jack shit in Jackson and Maggette and they don't like talking on the phone. So they won't even look into draft picks or cash compensation or "insurance coverage" and they don't have the balls to fix team chemistry and acquire a serious trade chip now that they lost their shot at having Baron Davis to shop around when he fled for LA's doughnut shops and B-list starlets. Because they're fucking idiots with tiny [brains] who know they're always right. Sort of like me only not right. Wait.
We, the fans, are probably better off. Giving big trade chips and draft picks to this band of chimps is like giving "inside information" to lonely STH's. You're going to regret it. You may even have to fire someone to convince your bosses you've got a handle on your shit.
You don't.
Anyway, fucking retards. You know what they're thinking and you know they won't do shit. Rowell and his nerd bean counter cohorts are riding this dead horse straight to hell. No trades, no admissions of their incompetence but full admission of their business model:
Eff you.
They know they're right.
These are the folks who call Stephen Jackson and Corey Maggette assets and are deathly afraid of Jermaine O'Neal not opting out this Summer and being (gasp!) some useless pile of $23 million expiring pre-Summer 2010. They won't admit they have jack shit in Jackson and Maggette and they don't like talking on the phone. So they won't even look into draft picks or cash compensation or "insurance coverage" and they don't have the balls to fix team chemistry and acquire a serious trade chip now that they lost their shot at having Baron Davis to shop around when he fled for LA's doughnut shops and B-list starlets. Because they're fucking idiots with tiny [brains] who know they're always right. Sort of like me only not right. Wait.
We, the fans, are probably better off. Giving big trade chips and draft picks to this band of chimps is like giving "inside information" to lonely STH's. You're going to regret it. You may even have to fire someone to convince your bosses you've got a handle on your shit.
You don't.
Anyway, fucking retards. You know what they're thinking and you know they won't do shit. Rowell and his nerd bean counter cohorts are riding this dead horse straight to hell. No trades, no admissions of their incompetence but full admission of their business model:
Eff you.
They know they're right.
Stephen Jackson hates Jamal Crawford
ESPN's Marc Stein is not reporting that Stephen Jackson is a whiny conceited jerkoff who peaked when he was on the Spurs and is a me-first stat whore with no team concept who was just looking to get paid. Then he did. The rest is history. No trade value whatsoever.
Meanwhile, on As the Rowell Turns:
Crawford 19.3 .408 (36.6 MPG/16 FGA) & 3 RPG, 2.57 A/TO
Bad Porn 19.1 .413 (34.8 MPG/13.6 FGA) & 5.7 RPG, .74 A/TO
Cpt. Suck 18.6 .378 (39.8 MPG/16.6 FGA) & 4.4 RPG, 1.61 A/TO
Emperor. Clothes. Leadership. It Ain't Me. Etc.
Crawford is a keeper before It Ain't Me and Got My Numbers are.
Deal, We Believe! Bandwagon children-of-the-Chardonnay set.
Be Clippers fans, you miserable assholes.
Eff you.
Meanwhile, on As the Rowell Turns:
Crawford 19.3 .408 (36.6 MPG/16 FGA) & 3 RPG, 2.57 A/TO
Bad Porn 19.1 .413 (34.8 MPG/13.6 FGA) & 5.7 RPG, .74 A/TO
Cpt. Suck 18.6 .378 (39.8 MPG/16.6 FGA) & 4.4 RPG, 1.61 A/TO
Emperor. Clothes. Leadership. It Ain't Me. Etc.
Crawford is a keeper before It Ain't Me and Got My Numbers are.
Deal, We Believe! Bandwagon children-of-the-Chardonnay set.
Be Clippers fans, you miserable assholes.
Eff you.
Andy Miller's Warrior Bigmen
Patrick O'Bryant
Stephane Lasme
Jermareo Davidson
NOT Rudy Fernandez (just because)
NOT JJ Hickson
NOT Kevin Garnett
NOT Antonio McDyess (hint, toolz)
wait for it.....
Richard Hendrix
Stephane Lasme
Jermareo Davidson
NOT Rudy Fernandez (just because)
NOT JJ Hickson
NOT Kevin Garnett
NOT Antonio McDyess (hint, toolz)
wait for it.....
Richard Hendrix
.666 w/out It Ain't Me/Bad Porn & Lowell Cohn tears Nellie's taint
Playoffs, MFs. Mark of the Kurz.
Oh, and Cohn killed Lucky:
http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20081220/NEWS/812200273/1057/SPORTS0908?Title=Things_are_getting_strange_in_Warriors__world
You know you've got the homer blowhard obligatory team-followers by the balls when they start digging up old posts and playing Shame my Doppelganger. Pandemonium in Warriorland. Lord of the Flies. Whining and bitching and moaning. Every little shred of irrelevant evidence of having a fucking clue about ANYTHING (The clueless Marco fanboyz just wrapped up their week of glory) comes back from the dead as the angry white man witless poons try to one-up each other in mind-numbingly boring fits of bitchy sibling rivalry.
Many simply ignore and let the monkey pooh fly.
But few can resist following along at home.
I was so right about Vonteego Cummings. Bitches.
Oh, and Cohn killed Lucky:
http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20081220/NEWS/812200273/1057/SPORTS0908?Title=Things_are_getting_strange_in_Warriors__world
You know you've got the homer blowhard obligatory team-followers by the balls when they start digging up old posts and playing Shame my Doppelganger. Pandemonium in Warriorland. Lord of the Flies. Whining and bitching and moaning. Every little shred of irrelevant evidence of having a fucking clue about ANYTHING (The clueless Marco fanboyz just wrapped up their week of glory) comes back from the dead as the angry white man witless poons try to one-up each other in mind-numbingly boring fits of bitchy sibling rivalry.
Many simply ignore and let the monkey pooh fly.
But few can resist following along at home.
I was so right about Vonteego Cummings. Bitches.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
SPIN UPDATE: Jackson lies, Lowell Cohn backs Kawakami
Jackson is already lying about having his ass handed to him by the coach at shootaround on Monday, resulting in this mini-suspension. Better team ball as a result, of course.
But Lowell ain't havin' it: http://blog.pressdemocrat.com/cohn/
But Lowell ain't havin' it: http://blog.pressdemocrat.com/cohn/
Breaking News: Jermaine O'Neal available!
Don't worry about sources. Just know that the conservative fuckwad basketball retards who run the Golden State Warriors from Palo Alto and San Jose are afraid of Jermaine O'Neal and convinced they can get something else for Corey Maggette. These are the same geniuses who turned down a deal of Carlos Boozer for Troy Murphy and Derek Fisher the year Boozer was "hurt." The saga continues.
Par.
*UPDATE: O'Neal's money is wasted money. But it's also one of the few 2010 cap clearers available b/c TOR is one of the three teams that has no need to make space for the major 2010 pieces. Of course, one could argue they should be clearing that space and telling Bosh they intend to make a hard run at Lebron or Wade. But we all know that ain't hapening. Bosh is their franchise or they're back to square one. No in between. No addition. So the Warriors will just continue being massive pussies with no clue about the game and they'll miss. Again. Costing themselves millions longterm. Fucking losers.
Par.
*UPDATE: O'Neal's money is wasted money. But it's also one of the few 2010 cap clearers available b/c TOR is one of the three teams that has no need to make space for the major 2010 pieces. Of course, one could argue they should be clearing that space and telling Bosh they intend to make a hard run at Lebron or Wade. But we all know that ain't hapening. Bosh is their franchise or they're back to square one. No in between. No addition. So the Warriors will just continue being massive pussies with no clue about the game and they'll miss. Again. Costing themselves millions longterm. Fucking losers.
Richard Hendrix has disappeared
Where the fuck is Richard Hendrix?!
He's totally vanished from the Bakersfield JAM roster!
Don Nelson successfully kicked another 6'9" tree to the curb this week, axing Richard Hendrix in favor of the sweet sweet stroke of one Rob Kurz. There's absolutely no mystery to this move. There are only two relevant factors:
1. Rob Kurz shoots the 3 pointer
2. Richard Hendrix was the cheapest cut the team could make
Kurz has been trotted out to play in the paint and it's a fucking joke. Don't worry, Nellie is just covering his ass before putting him back where he intends to have him, on the 3 point line. But enough about Nellie's dementia.
Where the hell did Richard Hendrix GO?! He didn't have to leave the JAM. Other Warrior beat riders were positive he would stick with the JAM (I forget who, but they did). He could have just stayed and pursued the D-League's rebounding title, an All Star game appearance, and a D-League championship duffel bag with the Chuck E. Cheez free pizza party coupons. But no. He's not. What happened?
I have a theory, and it's a pretty good one:
The moment he was free of Rowell, Nelson, Mullin, Silas, Dumb, Riley, Jackson, Maggette, and Cohan, Hendu and his agent booked 24/7 independent workouts for all NBA clubs they could find, interspersed with hardcore training with professional conditioning and drills guys, possibly in Florida. Maybe Vegas. Why? Because the NBA 10 day contract season starts right after New Year's, that's why, and teams want what Richard Hendrix has to offer.
Now, I'm not saying he's got a snowball's chance in hell of making a team and sticking. Last year, it was Stephan Lasme in this boat and it was sort of a waste of anyone's time who bothered to follow his whereabouts and progress (Serbia. 10 PTS/6.5 REB/1.5 BLK/jump shot? http://www.stat.co.rs/partizan/eng/sum_player.php You're welcome). But Hendrix is much different than Stephane Lasme. So I am saying, anyone would try to make the league from this particular situation. Other D-League teams are not even necessary. Enjoy your holidays and make full use of free agency. Total jackpot for Hendu.
First, the backstory on Lasme. Lasme was a 25 year old U Mass tweener from Gabon who picked the game up late in life and had no recognizable skills besides shot blocking and a bit of rebounding from a bankrupt man's Shawn Marion netherworld. Pat Riley picked him up almost exclusively to fuck with Don Nelson and he got good work out of him, even taught him about a thing called a "jump shot" (Lasme hits 3 pointers at a better rate than Stephen Jackson this year, for what it's worth. Tons.). But Joel Anthony is a decent NBA C and, well, Michael Beasley might be just a little bit better than Stephane. So Lasme is just another burnt Warrior draft pick. Boohoo. We own that category.
Hendrix, on the other hand, played legit big man ball in a legit NCAA division and has legit NBA size, strength, and energy. He's not fast, but he's not slow, either. Unlike the video game fanatic lazy boy connoisseur, Ike Diogu, Hendrix has passion and works his ass of. He's OK for the league and any of the great fans who follow the summer games know damn well, he was a vacuum on the glass and that his shortcomings are post defense and offensive range. But he can score around the basket well and he is a great NBA body with skills. The defense he can muster, it's the offense Don Nelson was unwilling to work with. No traditional post men allowed.
It's science.
I'm not going to bother with a long-winded Richard Hendrix defense. The Homer Morons already sucked Nellie's scotch-dripping cock on the cut logic and the circumspect will sit on their hands until conclusive evidence comes out. Nothing I have to say changes either camp's mind and I don't give a fuck about them, anyway. They think the tank is a development stage in the Nelson genius 3 year plan or that our current Maggette/Jackson "injuries" actually make a NEGATIVE difference to team play. Others are just quiet. Both of the former camps can be written off. They also love Marco Belinelli because they're happily comatose under the Nelson spell and the 15 year autopsy of Cohan rule.
Anyway, I suspect Hendrix is on the road trying out for teams with rebounding needs, maybe some injuries. I might even call his agent to ask about it. I think he deserves it. I think he's a good guy with a good game and an obviously excellent NBA body. This isn't like Mbenga mbody-mbuilding. This is actual game, size skill and strength, with a clear lifetime of ball work behind it even if he's not Tim fucking Duncan or anything.
Utah, for god's sake, is probably about to dump Boozer for draft picks and maybe even ditch Kirilenko's deal if they can. Think Jerry Sloan isn't ready for a Hendrix tryout? Hell, Toronto may just pick him up and see what they get, trading O'Neal for goodies and cutting the Warriors totally out of the picture. Whatever, it's irrelevant. The point is, he'll either get cash in Europe or cash in the NBA. I'll go ahead and bet he can kick Rob Kurz's ass in a head-to-head.
The bottom line is, Hendu was a glimmer of hope for some of we diehard Warriors fans who liked what we saw, bothered to follow the new kids in Summer League, and knew we weren't getting anywhere with the shitball wing attack. Sans the sentimental whiny schlock, he was still a goddam animal compared to the D-League 2/3 brigade we continue to suffer through. And above and beyond all of THAT, we're left to assume they either tried to put him into some trades and failed or they didn't try a fucking thing and just axed the cash to save yet more time and energy in the brilliant and efficient oversight of this legacy of suck.
There's no doubt in my mind they didn't call anyone about trading Richard Hendrix.
I doubt he had any real value anyway and he certainly wasn't helping move a bad contract. More to the point, WE'RE NOT TRYING TO MOVE ANY CONTRACTS! We're actually fucking convinced (we: Cohan and co.) we can keep the whole shitbag intact and NOT fail miserably in an apocalyptic fire storm of suck and eternal malignancy. The Hendrix cut was just the least amount of work we could perform and still follow league rules. Simple as that!
The Nellie Special.
Once again, the Warriors say:
Eff you.
He's totally vanished from the Bakersfield JAM roster!
Don Nelson successfully kicked another 6'9" tree to the curb this week, axing Richard Hendrix in favor of the sweet sweet stroke of one Rob Kurz. There's absolutely no mystery to this move. There are only two relevant factors:
1. Rob Kurz shoots the 3 pointer
2. Richard Hendrix was the cheapest cut the team could make
Kurz has been trotted out to play in the paint and it's a fucking joke. Don't worry, Nellie is just covering his ass before putting him back where he intends to have him, on the 3 point line. But enough about Nellie's dementia.
Where the hell did Richard Hendrix GO?! He didn't have to leave the JAM. Other Warrior beat riders were positive he would stick with the JAM (I forget who, but they did). He could have just stayed and pursued the D-League's rebounding title, an All Star game appearance, and a D-League championship duffel bag with the Chuck E. Cheez free pizza party coupons. But no. He's not. What happened?
I have a theory, and it's a pretty good one:
The moment he was free of Rowell, Nelson, Mullin, Silas, Dumb, Riley, Jackson, Maggette, and Cohan, Hendu and his agent booked 24/7 independent workouts for all NBA clubs they could find, interspersed with hardcore training with professional conditioning and drills guys, possibly in Florida. Maybe Vegas. Why? Because the NBA 10 day contract season starts right after New Year's, that's why, and teams want what Richard Hendrix has to offer.
Now, I'm not saying he's got a snowball's chance in hell of making a team and sticking. Last year, it was Stephan Lasme in this boat and it was sort of a waste of anyone's time who bothered to follow his whereabouts and progress (Serbia. 10 PTS/6.5 REB/1.5 BLK/jump shot? http://www.stat.co.rs/partizan/eng/sum_player.php You're welcome). But Hendrix is much different than Stephane Lasme. So I am saying, anyone would try to make the league from this particular situation. Other D-League teams are not even necessary. Enjoy your holidays and make full use of free agency. Total jackpot for Hendu.
First, the backstory on Lasme. Lasme was a 25 year old U Mass tweener from Gabon who picked the game up late in life and had no recognizable skills besides shot blocking and a bit of rebounding from a bankrupt man's Shawn Marion netherworld. Pat Riley picked him up almost exclusively to fuck with Don Nelson and he got good work out of him, even taught him about a thing called a "jump shot" (Lasme hits 3 pointers at a better rate than Stephen Jackson this year, for what it's worth. Tons.). But Joel Anthony is a decent NBA C and, well, Michael Beasley might be just a little bit better than Stephane. So Lasme is just another burnt Warrior draft pick. Boohoo. We own that category.
Hendrix, on the other hand, played legit big man ball in a legit NCAA division and has legit NBA size, strength, and energy. He's not fast, but he's not slow, either. Unlike the video game fanatic lazy boy connoisseur, Ike Diogu, Hendrix has passion and works his ass of. He's OK for the league and any of the great fans who follow the summer games know damn well, he was a vacuum on the glass and that his shortcomings are post defense and offensive range. But he can score around the basket well and he is a great NBA body with skills. The defense he can muster, it's the offense Don Nelson was unwilling to work with. No traditional post men allowed.
It's science.
I'm not going to bother with a long-winded Richard Hendrix defense. The Homer Morons already sucked Nellie's scotch-dripping cock on the cut logic and the circumspect will sit on their hands until conclusive evidence comes out. Nothing I have to say changes either camp's mind and I don't give a fuck about them, anyway. They think the tank is a development stage in the Nelson genius 3 year plan or that our current Maggette/Jackson "injuries" actually make a NEGATIVE difference to team play. Others are just quiet. Both of the former camps can be written off. They also love Marco Belinelli because they're happily comatose under the Nelson spell and the 15 year autopsy of Cohan rule.
Anyway, I suspect Hendrix is on the road trying out for teams with rebounding needs, maybe some injuries. I might even call his agent to ask about it. I think he deserves it. I think he's a good guy with a good game and an obviously excellent NBA body. This isn't like Mbenga mbody-mbuilding. This is actual game, size skill and strength, with a clear lifetime of ball work behind it even if he's not Tim fucking Duncan or anything.
Utah, for god's sake, is probably about to dump Boozer for draft picks and maybe even ditch Kirilenko's deal if they can. Think Jerry Sloan isn't ready for a Hendrix tryout? Hell, Toronto may just pick him up and see what they get, trading O'Neal for goodies and cutting the Warriors totally out of the picture. Whatever, it's irrelevant. The point is, he'll either get cash in Europe or cash in the NBA. I'll go ahead and bet he can kick Rob Kurz's ass in a head-to-head.
The bottom line is, Hendu was a glimmer of hope for some of we diehard Warriors fans who liked what we saw, bothered to follow the new kids in Summer League, and knew we weren't getting anywhere with the shitball wing attack. Sans the sentimental whiny schlock, he was still a goddam animal compared to the D-League 2/3 brigade we continue to suffer through. And above and beyond all of THAT, we're left to assume they either tried to put him into some trades and failed or they didn't try a fucking thing and just axed the cash to save yet more time and energy in the brilliant and efficient oversight of this legacy of suck.
There's no doubt in my mind they didn't call anyone about trading Richard Hendrix.
I doubt he had any real value anyway and he certainly wasn't helping move a bad contract. More to the point, WE'RE NOT TRYING TO MOVE ANY CONTRACTS! We're actually fucking convinced (we: Cohan and co.) we can keep the whole shitbag intact and NOT fail miserably in an apocalyptic fire storm of suck and eternal malignancy. The Hendrix cut was just the least amount of work we could perform and still follow league rules. Simple as that!
The Nellie Special.
Once again, the Warriors say:
Eff you.
Stephen Jackson : Irrelevant
Record without Stephen Jackson: 2-2
Record with Captain Suck: 6-18
Indisputable evidence.
Record with Captain Suck: 6-18
Indisputable evidence.
Marco Belinelli is Bullshit
If he and Monta ever play together, they'll fucking hate each other. Book it.
Anyway, if Marco Belinelli is your new piece for the future, you really are a desperate, Bob Fitzgerald PR swilling NBA ignoramus who will never, ever, ever learn who you're dealing with in Don Nelson and Robert Rowell. Ever.
Eff you.
Anyway, if Marco Belinelli is your new piece for the future, you really are a desperate, Bob Fitzgerald PR swilling NBA ignoramus who will never, ever, ever learn who you're dealing with in Don Nelson and Robert Rowell. Ever.
Eff you.
Don Nelson : Staying
Marc Stein over at ESPN has reported his opinion of the Nelson issue and fleshed it out with supposed information from Warriors team sources. Those sources could be Tom fucking Tolbert, really, because all Steiny's saying is that the Warriors are cheap bastards who won't eat $12 million idiotically committed dollars and two inexplicably disposed of years of team development just to, you know, fix the absolute worst fucking thing wrong with this team. Don Nelson's drunken, vindictive, petty, senile dementia. It's all in the holiday edition of the Weekend Dime, so you've got all factors working on high effort overdrive to provide you the inside scoop. Also covered: Juwon Howard's start for the Bobcats and a chart of the most recent Michigan Fab Five starts in the NBA. Marc is not in the building. I don't think he does Christmas, but anyone in corporate Amerikuh does Xmas holiday, and he's fucking doing it:
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/dailydime?page=dime-081220-21
Nelson has become such an accepted sideshow player killer in his years with young talent, such a player-blamer, attention-seeking blame CREATOR when he does name himself (defense is suddenly a priority while his rotations and youth destruction/purge are the real problems), that it's all an assumed blueprint for brilliance when he launches his annual whiny, poor-old-me, we're not very good tirades and starts clamoring for veterans like some 12 year old girl who wants a Malibu Barbie Dream House. Larry Brown just fucking effs the shit up. He doesn't screw around and he doesn't take a job where he'll have to spend years playing power games to do what he wants with the roster. Nelson, on the other hand, has invented a totally new game that happens in offices, not on the court, and no one ever talks about it. He hangs around to collect power and money and fuck up personal relationships. He doesn't work on a team. You know what he'll do with your team. The gimmick is already printed on postcards. It's mailed in the minute the ink dries on his contract: shitball wings running amok chucking threes any time with no rebounding or defense.
Notice, Nellie didn't mention rebounding in his coaching concessions last night. He only talked about defense and how he was starting the Lord of the Flies Survivor contest between Moncrief (a professional politician beloved by the team's core players and an elite NBA defender and shooter), and Keith Smart. Who has a clipboard. If Nellie had mentioned rebounds, someone might have asked him why he kept a three point shooting, average floor-switching pussy like Rob Kurz and cut a rebounding specialist who can maul other bigs, Richard Hendrix, without ever letting him play in a game. But no one did. The defensive coordinator bullshit was on and Rowell already avoided any aggressive pitch to Tom Thibodeau once, Jeff Van Gundy and Larry Brown twice, and it's all over and done with. We're going to pay Nellie that $15 million remaining between now and the Postscript instead of shell out $8 million per year for a real fucking defense-first, rebounding, no smallball bull shit coach with credentials. Nellie's wins are like Marco Belinelli's points now: fucking hollow, OK?
I'll bet Stein's source IS Tom Tolbert. Or Donnie Nelson. Both owe their careers almost exclusively to Don Nelson and/or Sarunas Marciulionis. Like CJ Watson, Matt Barnes, Kelenna Azubuike (a Moncrief guy, so I'll hold out hope he just needs a better coach to be what he once was again), Rob Kurz, or older versions of the crappy older undraftee or second round scrub who isn't 6'9" or taller, Tolbert is nothing without Don Nelson. Nellie has these little dweebs in his corner no matter what until they get a contract from someone else. And they always get the same contract: 1 year at the vet's minimum or 3 years at 50-60% of a team's MLE. They never invoke serious interest and they're never fully trusted until they prove themselves outside the Nellie system. Meanwhile, Nellie mounts ego wars against high profile players, young and old alike, until they either suck his junk or the situation explodes and trades are the only solution.
A new version of the Nellie player mindfuck- I think, someone correct me if I'm just forgetting the last time this happened- was the Baron Davis sit down and who knows WHAT was said between then and the opt out. Very clever. Another Nellie issue, moving around just enough to recharge memory banks and usher in a new buffer crop of impressionable journeyfans who need Nellie at the center of their worlds- they've lost all other hope, so they're his for life or until his contract is up- is freshly minted and in line for the hangover now with this Randolph mess. This is EXACTLY how the Chris Webber fiasco started. Webber's jersey is about to be retired by the Sacramento Kings. No word yet on the Gugliotta Warriors jersey retirement ceremonies, but check your fan programs for Spring 2010. But there's no way Nellie escapes this time if the noise keeps coming. He's established his M.O. and it's retarded. The player wins every time by default now.
This lets even the crappy players like Ike Diogu off the hook and ushers in a revised waiting period on guys like Hendrix and O'Bryant, guys who actually have NBA skillz and, in Hendrix's case, intensity and drive- those guys tend to SUCCEED. And of course, Chris Webber is vindicated. O'Bryant and Nellie supposedly had some screaming matches in practices. O'Bryant never gave in. Nellie shipped him. O'Bryant was blamed. Well, O'Bryant wins even if he still hasn't done shit and can't score at will against terrible wing defenders over a two week stint after whining like a little baby to European media. Still, fuck O'Bryant. We shoulda picked someone else if we had a fucking plan. We didn't. Eff us. But give me Rudy Fernandez or Wilson Chandler over Marco Belinelli every fucking day of the week and twice on domenica.
At any rate, Marc Stein is probably half right about all of this. The Warriors are complete hack pussies who hate to lose money just because they fucked up again. They did buy out Montgomery's two years, though, so I'm not sure who the fuck these reporters are talking to to get their one line explications of the intricacies of Warriorsville right now. It's more complicated than just "they don't eat money." They do when there's simply no other choice. But what they tend to do is wait too long, until they have a new plan for short term hype sans longterm payoff to deflect ticket sales swoons as much as possible. That's how you know Robert Rowell is the guy making the big decisions- they're all bullshit ticket sales and promotional PR moves, period. Rowell doesn't know jack shit about building or pitching a winning basketball team. Even the Mullin hire was a fucking gimmick, and those early contracts and gradual spoon feed since prove what's going on with that. Mullin is a famous fan favorite, but he's a chimp when it comes to business. Rowell is .0001% above him on the evolutionary scale. Those little differences are huge in primatology. I think. I'm no scientist.
So they might fire Nellie but chances are good they're actually wanting him to slink away in the shame of retirement. They want payback for how he effed up their ownership inauguration by going batshit crazy on a franchise big just because his ownership stake was shit after Cohan sued everyone. Or something, maybe he just hated Cohan's wife. The world may never know. But they won't allow a "leave of absence" because the precedent was already set in Dallas. Let him walk for a bit and you guarantee arbitration later. Once you condone it, he'll stick to his play and he's a better poker player than you, his lawyers are probably a little better that yours, and they're definitely more prepared for this kind of fight. They've done it before. At every stop in fact. They've got form files for Nellie's employer litigation. Trust me.
No, the Warriors need Nellie to go down in total flames. They've got to take the upper hand in this 15 year autopsy. They've already shown the league that they're here to make cash and opt for expediency and hollow cost cuts and sales gimmicks over substantive team building every step of the way. Their stake is personal, petty, and irrelevant to most of the league. It's a business and so, when Nellie and the All American Rejects made a classic Sportworld run in 2007, the marketing division of the NBA rode the underdog run and gun entertainment mantra all the way to Utah and legitimate basketball. But the love affair was all business, no league investment. Portland and their young core of legit bigs and a star guard with big game stuff? The league is all about it. Shit wings and a legacy of gimmick and suck? They don't care, there's no big longterm return there. You use the Warriors for short term return only and you don't expect too much. Ever.
The truth is, you can make as much money- more- in a big market with a monkeyshit team as long as you are OK at math and semi-casual fan exploitation, than you can in a tiny market with a serious playoff team. It's been proven, time and again. You can be sure the smart NBA marketing division knew exactly what they were getting and exactly what to do with it. The on air national broadcast folks get it. The talking points are COMPLETELY different now. Van Gundy and Jackson just say the Warriors suck. Even they used to have to say something about entertainment and running. Nellie the genius, whatever. No more. Not one fucking NBA mind of quality gives two shits about Nellie's career of money-grubbing and ego clashing. Not one. Brown has a championship and a rapid fire house-cleaning going down in Charlotte that we might be the "This battle station is fully operational" guinea pig for tonight. Nelson has an arbitrators dossier file. It's a sinking ship and the Warriors are ASSUMED to be along for the ride because of money! That says it ALL, right there. That's how you know. The league in general does this bullshit, but the Warriors are a very special case.
The Warriors have a unique brand of Suck Cycle. I don't think they recover from this round with Nelson unless they get rid of him, right now, and reboot. That includes Richard Hendrix, in my opinion. You have to choose players over coach in this instance and you have to make a clear indication to the league's agents of ALL young talent, including role players coming off of rookie deals, that this is a good option for them. Because the street baller D-Leaguers only get you so far and the free agents you can attract are obviously second class: the Warriors had the wherewithal, supposedly, to offer more than anyone else to premier NAMES like Elton Brand and Gilbert Arenas. They ended up with Corey Maggette.
No, the brand is shot. Rowell is an atrocity and no one wants to go where the owner doesn't fucking care. They at least don't want constant Ray Ridder press release hogwash and defense of team desire to win something of counsequence when everyone already knows ALL teams are businesses but, still, some make shit happen and some just don't. The Warriors not only "just don't," they actively work against success seemingly every fucking year. Revisit my earlier "Richard Hendrix : Pearl Harbor" rant for a run down of Warriors draft picks since Cohan sued for team control. That's how you build a legacy of suck.
Paper Bags on head, fans, or don't attend games at all.
The team has only one message for you and your kids:
It's a Great Fucking Time Out, Losers.
Pay Up.
Eff You.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/dailydime?page=dime-081220-21
Nelson has become such an accepted sideshow player killer in his years with young talent, such a player-blamer, attention-seeking blame CREATOR when he does name himself (defense is suddenly a priority while his rotations and youth destruction/purge are the real problems), that it's all an assumed blueprint for brilliance when he launches his annual whiny, poor-old-me, we're not very good tirades and starts clamoring for veterans like some 12 year old girl who wants a Malibu Barbie Dream House. Larry Brown just fucking effs the shit up. He doesn't screw around and he doesn't take a job where he'll have to spend years playing power games to do what he wants with the roster. Nelson, on the other hand, has invented a totally new game that happens in offices, not on the court, and no one ever talks about it. He hangs around to collect power and money and fuck up personal relationships. He doesn't work on a team. You know what he'll do with your team. The gimmick is already printed on postcards. It's mailed in the minute the ink dries on his contract: shitball wings running amok chucking threes any time with no rebounding or defense.
Notice, Nellie didn't mention rebounding in his coaching concessions last night. He only talked about defense and how he was starting the Lord of the Flies Survivor contest between Moncrief (a professional politician beloved by the team's core players and an elite NBA defender and shooter), and Keith Smart. Who has a clipboard. If Nellie had mentioned rebounds, someone might have asked him why he kept a three point shooting, average floor-switching pussy like Rob Kurz and cut a rebounding specialist who can maul other bigs, Richard Hendrix, without ever letting him play in a game. But no one did. The defensive coordinator bullshit was on and Rowell already avoided any aggressive pitch to Tom Thibodeau once, Jeff Van Gundy and Larry Brown twice, and it's all over and done with. We're going to pay Nellie that $15 million remaining between now and the Postscript instead of shell out $8 million per year for a real fucking defense-first, rebounding, no smallball bull shit coach with credentials. Nellie's wins are like Marco Belinelli's points now: fucking hollow, OK?
I'll bet Stein's source IS Tom Tolbert. Or Donnie Nelson. Both owe their careers almost exclusively to Don Nelson and/or Sarunas Marciulionis. Like CJ Watson, Matt Barnes, Kelenna Azubuike (a Moncrief guy, so I'll hold out hope he just needs a better coach to be what he once was again), Rob Kurz, or older versions of the crappy older undraftee or second round scrub who isn't 6'9" or taller, Tolbert is nothing without Don Nelson. Nellie has these little dweebs in his corner no matter what until they get a contract from someone else. And they always get the same contract: 1 year at the vet's minimum or 3 years at 50-60% of a team's MLE. They never invoke serious interest and they're never fully trusted until they prove themselves outside the Nellie system. Meanwhile, Nellie mounts ego wars against high profile players, young and old alike, until they either suck his junk or the situation explodes and trades are the only solution.
A new version of the Nellie player mindfuck- I think, someone correct me if I'm just forgetting the last time this happened- was the Baron Davis sit down and who knows WHAT was said between then and the opt out. Very clever. Another Nellie issue, moving around just enough to recharge memory banks and usher in a new buffer crop of impressionable journeyfans who need Nellie at the center of their worlds- they've lost all other hope, so they're his for life or until his contract is up- is freshly minted and in line for the hangover now with this Randolph mess. This is EXACTLY how the Chris Webber fiasco started. Webber's jersey is about to be retired by the Sacramento Kings. No word yet on the Gugliotta Warriors jersey retirement ceremonies, but check your fan programs for Spring 2010. But there's no way Nellie escapes this time if the noise keeps coming. He's established his M.O. and it's retarded. The player wins every time by default now.
This lets even the crappy players like Ike Diogu off the hook and ushers in a revised waiting period on guys like Hendrix and O'Bryant, guys who actually have NBA skillz and, in Hendrix's case, intensity and drive- those guys tend to SUCCEED. And of course, Chris Webber is vindicated. O'Bryant and Nellie supposedly had some screaming matches in practices. O'Bryant never gave in. Nellie shipped him. O'Bryant was blamed. Well, O'Bryant wins even if he still hasn't done shit and can't score at will against terrible wing defenders over a two week stint after whining like a little baby to European media. Still, fuck O'Bryant. We shoulda picked someone else if we had a fucking plan. We didn't. Eff us. But give me Rudy Fernandez or Wilson Chandler over Marco Belinelli every fucking day of the week and twice on domenica.
At any rate, Marc Stein is probably half right about all of this. The Warriors are complete hack pussies who hate to lose money just because they fucked up again. They did buy out Montgomery's two years, though, so I'm not sure who the fuck these reporters are talking to to get their one line explications of the intricacies of Warriorsville right now. It's more complicated than just "they don't eat money." They do when there's simply no other choice. But what they tend to do is wait too long, until they have a new plan for short term hype sans longterm payoff to deflect ticket sales swoons as much as possible. That's how you know Robert Rowell is the guy making the big decisions- they're all bullshit ticket sales and promotional PR moves, period. Rowell doesn't know jack shit about building or pitching a winning basketball team. Even the Mullin hire was a fucking gimmick, and those early contracts and gradual spoon feed since prove what's going on with that. Mullin is a famous fan favorite, but he's a chimp when it comes to business. Rowell is .0001% above him on the evolutionary scale. Those little differences are huge in primatology. I think. I'm no scientist.
So they might fire Nellie but chances are good they're actually wanting him to slink away in the shame of retirement. They want payback for how he effed up their ownership inauguration by going batshit crazy on a franchise big just because his ownership stake was shit after Cohan sued everyone. Or something, maybe he just hated Cohan's wife. The world may never know. But they won't allow a "leave of absence" because the precedent was already set in Dallas. Let him walk for a bit and you guarantee arbitration later. Once you condone it, he'll stick to his play and he's a better poker player than you, his lawyers are probably a little better that yours, and they're definitely more prepared for this kind of fight. They've done it before. At every stop in fact. They've got form files for Nellie's employer litigation. Trust me.
No, the Warriors need Nellie to go down in total flames. They've got to take the upper hand in this 15 year autopsy. They've already shown the league that they're here to make cash and opt for expediency and hollow cost cuts and sales gimmicks over substantive team building every step of the way. Their stake is personal, petty, and irrelevant to most of the league. It's a business and so, when Nellie and the All American Rejects made a classic Sportworld run in 2007, the marketing division of the NBA rode the underdog run and gun entertainment mantra all the way to Utah and legitimate basketball. But the love affair was all business, no league investment. Portland and their young core of legit bigs and a star guard with big game stuff? The league is all about it. Shit wings and a legacy of gimmick and suck? They don't care, there's no big longterm return there. You use the Warriors for short term return only and you don't expect too much. Ever.
The truth is, you can make as much money- more- in a big market with a monkeyshit team as long as you are OK at math and semi-casual fan exploitation, than you can in a tiny market with a serious playoff team. It's been proven, time and again. You can be sure the smart NBA marketing division knew exactly what they were getting and exactly what to do with it. The on air national broadcast folks get it. The talking points are COMPLETELY different now. Van Gundy and Jackson just say the Warriors suck. Even they used to have to say something about entertainment and running. Nellie the genius, whatever. No more. Not one fucking NBA mind of quality gives two shits about Nellie's career of money-grubbing and ego clashing. Not one. Brown has a championship and a rapid fire house-cleaning going down in Charlotte that we might be the "This battle station is fully operational" guinea pig for tonight. Nelson has an arbitrators dossier file. It's a sinking ship and the Warriors are ASSUMED to be along for the ride because of money! That says it ALL, right there. That's how you know. The league in general does this bullshit, but the Warriors are a very special case.
The Warriors have a unique brand of Suck Cycle. I don't think they recover from this round with Nelson unless they get rid of him, right now, and reboot. That includes Richard Hendrix, in my opinion. You have to choose players over coach in this instance and you have to make a clear indication to the league's agents of ALL young talent, including role players coming off of rookie deals, that this is a good option for them. Because the street baller D-Leaguers only get you so far and the free agents you can attract are obviously second class: the Warriors had the wherewithal, supposedly, to offer more than anyone else to premier NAMES like Elton Brand and Gilbert Arenas. They ended up with Corey Maggette.
No, the brand is shot. Rowell is an atrocity and no one wants to go where the owner doesn't fucking care. They at least don't want constant Ray Ridder press release hogwash and defense of team desire to win something of counsequence when everyone already knows ALL teams are businesses but, still, some make shit happen and some just don't. The Warriors not only "just don't," they actively work against success seemingly every fucking year. Revisit my earlier "Richard Hendrix : Pearl Harbor" rant for a run down of Warriors draft picks since Cohan sued for team control. That's how you build a legacy of suck.
Paper Bags on head, fans, or don't attend games at all.
The team has only one message for you and your kids:
It's a Great Fucking Time Out, Losers.
Pay Up.
Eff You.
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